


Of Sleep and Dreams

by kendermaus



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, M/M, Minor Character Death (past - mentioned), Multi, Multiple Partners, Other: See Story Notes, Romance, Survivor Guilt, VERY early work that will be reworked at some point, mention of homophobia and trauma resulting from same
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-11 02:40:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 52,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kendermaus/pseuds/kendermaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Blair and Simon discover a new facet in their lives. Angst and love abound.<br/>Archivist Note: Due to length, this story has been split into four parts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this for a friend not on list so if the posting is screwed up, blame me . All comments can be sent to either me, Jackie at or Keeker . We'll pass 'em on to Kender.
> 
> **** 
> 
> [A short, round form skitters from the lurking shadows. Pushing the blonde top-knot back from over big blue eyes, she blinks in the unexpected light.] ummm... hi. I'm Kender and this is my first "Sentinel" fic. I usually write about them [she points over her shoulder to a tall man clad in red serge standing next to a thin man dressed in gray Armani] but the Sentinel guys kinda snuck up on me and... well, who can resist a Sandburg strength pout? 
> 
> ANYWAY. This story would not have been possible without my cohorts in crime: LadyJ [Kender ducks as an elegant hand reaches out from the shadows to bap at the top of her head], Keeker: Story Hamster extrodinare and ST - , and my local support crew: Mooncat, Isabeau and Roulette . Thanks also to Alexis for getting me HOOKED on Sentinel and to Anne and Yvonne (and LadyJ) for helping beta. (Readers should be EXTRA thankful to these ladies... TRUST ME. Any remaining mistakes are ALL MINE!) 
> 
> As y'all should know, Jim, Blair and Simon (and all other cannon characters) don't belong to me . No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made with this. i'm just borrowing 'em and i SWEAR i'll give 'em back.... eventually. 
> 
> Notes:  
> // = thoughts  
> //* = remembered words/situations  
> Quotes that begin with small initial letters indicate softly spoken words/phrases. - hope that makes sense. 
> 
> warnings:  
> Explicit m/m and m/m/m sex depicted in loving detail.- NC-17 folks!! No kidding around! Romance, angst and owies abound, as does the ever-present "Kender happy ending". (well, I think it's happy anyway ). If the idea of loving 3-person relationships bother you, you may want to skip this story. If not, read on and let us know what you think. (no flames please, Kender's have notoriously fragile egos ) 
> 
> well, enjoy....  
> [the figure turns and in a swirl of blonde hair disappears back into the shadows where the sound of clicking computer keys is soon heard.]

Due to length, this story has been split into four parts.

## Of Sleep and Dreams

by Kender

Author's disclaimer: The characters of Jim Ellison, Simon Banks, Blair Sanburg (and all affiliated Cascade properties) belong to the nice folks at Pet Fly and Paramount. No money is being made. We're just having a little fun.

* * *

Of Sleep and Dreams - part one  
by Kender  
NC-17 : B/S/J 

The luminescent numbers slowly ticked off as Jim watched, dazed. He'd zoned. Now Ellison, Sandburg, and their young charge were going to have to do some serious moving to get out alive. He laid a hand on Blair's shoulder and pointed him towards the door of the large structure, "Let's go, Chief! We don't have a lot of time here." 

"You don't have to tell me twice man," his Guide answered with a shaky grin. 

The three moved quickly down the long hallway of the abandoned house, headed for the door and the relative safety outside the rickety structure. Blair Sandburg, anthropologist, police observer and Guide to Det. Jim Ellison, Sentinel of the Great City, watched the back of his friend and partner as the Sentinel led them quickly through the almost Fun House like maze of rooms and corridors. 

His mind supplied the fact that the house had been built two decades earlier by an eccentric tycoon who liked to keep people on their toes. The house had blind hallways, staircases that led to blank walls, and more secret passages than your average supervillian hideout. Blair chuckled at the analogy, he had DEFINITELY been hanging around their young charge Timothy for FAR too long this time. 

The twelve year old boy he and Jim had been assigned to watch, read BABYSIT, was into comic books, video games and weird music... he and Blair had hit it off immediately. The two spent hours talking about the merits of this game over that, once Timothy had show Blair the games in question. Or arguing the similarities between certain comic book heros and certain cultural stereotypes, once Blair had explained the concepts to the intelligent youngster. Jim and the young man's mother had been amazed at the friendship between the two but neither was complaining. 

For Timothy's mother Julie, it meant she'd finally found someone, after divorcing Timothy's father six months ago, Timothy would listen to and who would try to keep her son safe. For Jim it meant he could spend more time finding out who was trying to take the boy and why, even if it was without the input of his Guide. 

That lack of input was what put them in this situation. Jim had managed to find out the men after Timothy were trying to get to Timothy's father, a lawyer who was scheduled to testify against one Marco Calderone. Calderone was a very powerful man currently up on fraud charges. Jim and Simon had managed to trace the men to a company owned by Calderone and were in the process of obtaining the appropriate warrants when the men finally managed to capture Timothy... and, consequently, Blair. 

It hadn't been too hard to track the kidnappers to this particular house. They weren't the smartest men, but they worked for someone who compensated for it. Jim had been so focused on trying to locate Timothy and Blair he'd zoned on his hearing and missed the tripwire... and the bomb. Simon hadn't. While Jim headed in to retrieve Timothy and Blair, Simon had called for Taggert and the bomb squad. Rafe and Brown had stopped the kidnappers as they tried to escape out the back. 

Blair and Timothy had been ready when Jim arrived. The three of them had made it out the door when Timothy remembered the comics he'd been showing Blair when they'd been snatched, comics worth quite a bit to the twelve year old collector. So he'd gone back in... with Blair hot on his tail. They had grabbed the comics and run... straight into Jim. Jim had ushered them out, finally putting Timothy in the lead as they dashed through the last twists and turns of the hallway towards the now visible door. 

"Hey Jim? How much time did you say we had?" 

"Enough. Now keep moving Chief. We're almost there." Jim breathed a sigh of relief as Timothy plunged through the open door and into the waiting arms of his mother. He turned to check on Blair's progress and heard the unmistakable ticking of a _second_ device. He grabbed Sandburg's arm and pushed the younger man toward the door. "MOVE IT, SANDBURG!!" 

Blair stumbled through the door and out into the night with Jim hot on his heels. Jim screamed for everyone to get back then placed himself between Blair and the house. Blair didn't even have time to register what was happening before he felt himself thrown forward by the concussion of the explosion. As he hit the ground a heavy weight landed hard on his back, knocking the wind from the anthropologist. He knew the weight, the solid warmth that covered him, protecting him from the debris and heat of the explosion. "Jim?" 

"Chief," came a soft, husky voice next to his ear, "you okay?" 

"Yeah." 

"Good." Jim's breath was warm against Blair's face but the voice was oddly slurred. Blair tried to turn, to get a look at his Sentinel and friend, but his body screamed at him as he tried to move. Jim's lips pressed softly against Blair's hair, "Relax Chief. It'll be ok. Love you," the older man whispered before going completely limp. 

"Jim?" Blair struggled ineffectually against the weight of his partner, "JIM!!!" 

* * *

Captain Simon Banks of the Cascade P.D., watched the young police observer as he stood silent vigil across from the closed doors of the emergency room. Sandburg's long, dark hair was tangled and streaked with dirt and the handsome face clearly showed the recent tracks of tears that had finally come once his partner and friend had been wheeled out of sight. Simon was proud of the kid. He'd kept his cool at the scene, keeping Jim calm as he faded in and out of consciousness, talking to the injured Detective and keeping the larger man still until the ambulance arrived. 

When they'd arrived at the hospital, Sandburg had filled out the necessary forms with a calmness that worried the police Captain but Simon had said nothing, content to just watch the young anthropologist... for the time being. 

The younger man's stillness bothered Simon, but Sandburg seemed alright, just worried for his injured partner, as they all were. Julie, Timothy's mother, had stopped in to thank them and Blair had smiled reassuringly at her, assuring her it wasn't Timothy's fault and that neither he nor Jim blamed the young man for what had happened. 

She seemed relieved when Blair sent her back to her son's side, telling her they'd let her know once they heard anything. Being a parent himself, Simon really couldn't blame her for wanting to get back to her son after all that had happened. 

Now all there was for them to do was wait. So they waited, and Simon kept a discrete eye on the too still anthropologist. Certain Blair wasn't going anywhere too soon, Simon turned to look at the other officers gathered in the waiting room. Brown and Rafe sat near the wall each nursing a variety of cuts and bruises but unwilling to leave until something had been heard about Jim's condition. Taggert, who had arrived just moments after the explosion, stood beside the younger officers looking very guilty. 

"Joel," Simon called to the bomb squad officer, "it's not your fault. You came as quickly as you could. The bomb caught us all off guard." 

"Thank you sir, but I can't help thinking that if I'd been a bit faster..." 

"Joel, Simon's right. It wasn't your fault." 

The soft words, the first Blair had spoken since Jim had been wheeled into the emergency room and Julie had tried to stay, took them all by surprise. Joel's pain filled eyes turned towards the slumped shouldered young man, "I'm sorry, Blair." 

A soft smile tugged at Blair's full lips, "It's ok, man. Don't blame yourself for not being a mind reader. No one knew the house would be rigged. Besides, after all you did for Jim at the scene..." the voice trailed off and the expressive face turned away as Blair relived the explosion's aftermath. Joel Taggert had been the one who eased Jim's limp form off Blair and had begun first aid. He and Simon had stayed with Blair as the ambulance crew had worked on Jim to stabilize him for transport. Blair moved to the large man's side and laid a shaking hand on Taggert's shoulder, "Thanks Man." 

The opening of the emergency room doors saved the large black man from having to try to talk past the huge lump in his throat. A young woman in hospital greens focused in on Simon, "I'm Doctor Emily Donning. Are you with Detective Ellison?" 

Simon nodded, "I'm his commanding officer, Captain Simon Banks. How is he?" 

The doctor smiled, "Remarkably lucky. There doesn't appear to be any severe head or spinal trauma and his extremities are responsive. We won't know for sure until after the swelling goes down but I'm very optimistic. We've got him stabilized and have done all we can down here. We'll need to get him to surgery soon, but the worst is pretty much over." 

A hesitant voice sounded from near Simon's side, "Surgery? For what? You said the worst was over." 

Simon laid a restraining hand on the young man's shoulder, "Easy Sandburg. Let the woman explain." He turned brown eyes back to the doctor, "What type of surgery Dr. Donning?" 

"There was some debris embedded fairly deep into Detective Ellison's back sir. We'll be going in to remove it and make sure there isn't anything we missed on the initial procedure. It's nothing life threatening. He'll be fine, and in fact, if all goes well he should be up and out of the hospital in a few weeks. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work." 

"Of course Doctor,"Simon nodded offering his hand to the young woman. "Thank you so much for the information." 

Judging from the exuberant sounds from the officers behind him, Simon gathered that they had heard the doctor's prognosis. The only one apparently _not_ satisfied with the news was the too still form at his elbow. He turned to look at the silent anthropologist. The deep blue eyes were fixed to the closing doors, unfocused and distant. 

Simon felt the compact body begin to shake and turned the young man to him. His long fingers cupped Blair's chin and forced the dazed eyes upward, to Simon's face. Blair blinked and searched the captain's face for a long moment, as if trying to figure out how he knew the tall, elegant man. Now Simon was really worried. 

"Sandburg? You okay?" 

The blue eyes closed, but not before Simon saw the pain in them, and Blair nodded. 

"He's going to be fine Blair. He's going to pull through. It's all right." 

Blair seemed to think a moment before answering, "He's going to be ok?" 

"Yeah. The Doctor said he'll be fine." 

"Good," the younger man answered, swaying slightly. Simon reached out to steady the younger man and found himself with an armful of unconscious anthropologist. 

Simon automatically pulled the young man's limp form closer. "MEDIC!" he bellowed, "I need a DOCTOR here!" The emergency room doors opened and controlled chaos ensued. A nurse began barking orders as soon as Joel had filled her in on what had happened. She called for a gurney to be brought into the hall but Simon simply lifted the limp form, cradling the unconscious man to his broad chest, and carried Blair in to the doctors. He placed him carefully on the exam table and stepped back to allow the doctors to work. 

Strong hands steered him out of the exam room and back into the hallway. He turned to see Rafe watching him closely while Brown poured him a cup of coffee. He sighed heavily and pinned each man with a weary look, "Would someone be so kind as to tell me what the _HELL_ just happened here?" 

* * *

One hour, sixteen minutes, and far too much paperwork later Simon finally got his answer. Blair had been injured during the explosion and hadn't bothered to tell anyone. They had all been so focused on Jim's more obvious injuries that Blair's hidden ones had gone unnoticed. The doctor's theorized that Sandburg had been so focused on his partner that his system had kicked in enough adrenalin and endorphines to keep him going until he knew Jim was safe. Once it had been established that Jim was out of danger, the natural suppression wore off and Blair's body had finally acknowledged it's OWN injuries. Considering some of the other amazing things Simon had seen the kid do... it sounded reasonable. 

Both Jim and Blair were out of danger and being moved into a shared room which could be guarded. The two kidnappers had gladly turned over on their boss. The police were still looking for Calderone, and Simon wasn't about to take any chances with his friends' safety. Besides, with Sandburg close to Jim, Simon wouldn't have to worry about the detective panicking over his friend's condition when he regained consciousness. The strength of the bond between the two men surprised him sometimes and he didn't even _try_ to understand everything that happened between them. But he had seen the difference in his friend in the three years that the young anthropologist had been working with him. Hell, he'd seen the difference in himself too. It was amazing how invaluable that "neo-hippy flower child" had become to _All_ of the Major Crimes Department. Not that he'd ever tell the Kid. 

He nodded to the uniformed officer at the door to Jim and Blair's room and entered quietly. Though both men were sedated, Simon didn't want to startle Jim. The captain didn't know how Jim's Sentinel abilities would react to the medication. He checked on Jim first, noting the paleness of the strong features. He gently brushed the back of his hand over the broad forehead and was pleased by the lack of fever. He took one strong hand in his, just for a moment, "This was too close, my friend. Too _damned_ close." he whispered to the sleeping man. "You just make sure you come back to me... to all of us. Besides, Carolyn will never forgive me if you don't come back. Hang in there, Jim." 

Reluctantly, Simon released Jim's hand and crossed to the other bed. The normally animated Blair looked far too young and vulnerable swathed in the white of the hospital sheets. They had cleaned the dirt from his face but his hair still fell in tangled clumps across the pillows. Simon reached out and began finger combing through the dark mass of curls, knowing the longer the hair stayed tangled, the harder it would be for Blair to comb out. He tried not to think about the intimacy of the gesture, focusing instead on the soothing, repetitive motion as he worked at the strands around the handsome face. Blair never stirred. 

Simon took advantage of the young man's silence, "You know Sandburg, I think it's time I told you a few things. I'm glad you're a part of our team. You're a valuable asset not just to Jim but to the whole division. Brown thinks you're some kind of role model, of what I'm not sure, but he's working better than he has in a long time. Rafe thinks the world of you and Taggert... well Taggert says he owes you his job and his sanity. I owe you my best friend, my son and my life, many times over. You're quite a man Blair Sandburg, and if anyone asks... I'll deny I ever said it. And if you EVER pull a stunt like _THIS_ one again, I will personally kick that pert little white butt of yours into next week!" 

Banks ran his fingers lightly over one prominent cheek bone and shook his head at the sleeping man, "You are far too valuable to this department to pull this 'my buddy's hurt worse than me' routine. Rest and get better Sandburg, I need you back for this. Jim is the WORST patient and I don't intend to handle him all on my own." 

Simon cast one last look at his two friends and then quietly exited the room. 

* * *

"No way man! I'm fine." 

Jim cast an unconvinced eye over his partner. Blair had been released from the hospital three days earlier but had spent nearly every free moment at Jim's bedside. While the Sentinel loved having his Guide and friend nearby, he couldn't miss the toll it was taking on the younger man. "Look Chief, you have to give those ribs a chance to heal and sitting here in these uncomfortable hospital chairs _can't_ be helping. I'm out of danger, it's just going to take a while for me to be mobile enough to go home because of my reaction after the surgery. You don't need to nursemaid me." 

Wild blue eyes locked onto Jim's face, "I'm _NOT_ nursemaiding you! I just don't want to take any chances with this. The last thing you need is to have some helpful nurse give you something that whacks out your senses..." 

Jim knew an obfuscation when he heard one, especially from Blair. He reached out and captured one rapidly moving hand with his own. He drew the younger man closer and placed a gentle kiss over the pulse point on Blair's wrist. "Blair. I'm ok, " he kissed the captured palm, his light blue eyes never leaving the darker blue ones of his companion. "They say I should be home in a week and a half or so, safe and sound. Promise." He could see the shadows in his companions expressive eyes and had to stifle a frustrated sigh. 

"Chief. I want you to go home and get some sleep. Simon already told me about you not taking care of yourself after the explosion," Jim held up his hand to forestall the protest he knew was coming, tightening his grip on the hand he held until Blair stilled. "Blair. Love. I want you to promise you'll take care of yourself for me." 

Blair's eyes misted over at the endearment, "Jim... I..." 

"Promise me Love." 

"Jim," Blair made a token protest, but he knew he couldn't refuse his Sentinel anything. Especially now. He squeezed Jim's hand and tried to muster up a smile, "I promise. Happy now?" 

Jim laughed at the petulant note in his Guide's voice, "Yeah, I am." He brought the captured hand to his lips once more and kissed the palm. Strong fingers caressed his face and he leaned into the touch delighting in the feel of those familiar fingers against his skin. He looked into the pained blue eyes and drew the young man to him, careful of Blair's injured ribs, "It's going to be ok Blair. We won. Timothy's safe. The kidnappers are in jail and everyone came out ok." 

"Except you." 

If it hadn't been for his enhanced hearing Jim would have missed the whispered statement. He was meant to miss it, he was sure. He doubted the trembling man in his arms even realized he'd said the statement out loud. He had to find out what this was all about. He brushed back the sable curls that hid the handsome face pressed against his chest, "Blair? I came out alright. I'm going to be fine." 

"oh damn." 

Jim couldn't stop the smile, //Busted Sandburg.// "Blair, what's going on?" 

"Nothing man." 

"Chief..." 

The sound of footsteps entering the room made Blair pull back from Jim's embrace and Jim winced in sympathy as Blair's injured ribs protested the sudden movement. Jim put out his hand to steady his friend and locked eyes with his concerned Captain. The large man entered quickly and caught Sandburg's shoulders, steadying the young man as he swayed. Jim watched as Simon's long fingers closed gently around Blair's shoulders. He smiled his thanks to the Captain and squeezed Blair's hand reassuringly. Blair blushed as he realized how he must look to the two police officers and quickly excused himself. 

The two men watched the hasty retreat and exchanged bemused glances. "Was I interrupting something?" Simon asked with barely contained amusement. 

Jim sobered as he realized he hadn't gotten an answer from his roommate. "Actually...." 

"I don't think I want to know," Simon answered before seeing the intent look on his friend's face. "Jim? What's wrong? Is it the Kid?" 

"I'm not sure what's wrong Simon. I was trying to find out when you came in." 

"Sorry." 

"I said _trying_ , not succeeding," Jim said with a tired chuckle. "Has anyone been keeping an eye on him since he was released?" 

"Jim, he wasn't under arrest. He was hospitalized for injuries sustained during a police operation and when he was discharged from the hospital he went back to leading his own life." 

"So who's been keeping an eye on him?" 

Simon smiled at his best detective, "Rafe. He volunteered to drive Blair back and forth to the University since his cracked ribs make it hard for him to drive." 

"Thanks Simon. I'm worried about him." 

"He's stronger than he looks Jim. He'll be fine." 

"I wonder. Take a good look at him Simon. He's about to drop. Something is going on in that head of his and he won't open up to me. The last time I saw him this wired was after the fount...," Jim's voice broke on the word and took a deep breath before continuing, "after we got him back." 

There was so much pain in his friend's voice that Simon ached to reach out to Jim to try and soothe away some of the anguish he heard. He knew Jim still blamed himself for what happened to Blair at Alex's hands, but Simon also suspected that Jim was the one responsible for bringing the Kid back. 

Even the paramedics had given up on Blair once they had pulled the limp anthropologist out of the fountain, but not Jim. Jim had refused to give up and eventually the EMT's had detected a faint, thready heartbeat. Blair had lain comatose for several days when Jim came to Simon and made him promise to watch over Blair. Then the Sentinel had disappeared. He returned hours later in the company of Blair's mother Naomi and had rushed to Blair's side, taking the young man's hand tightly in his own. Simon had left them alone, determined to give his friends the privacy the moment seemed to demand. 

Shortly thereafter, Blair emerged from his coma. Simon still wasn't sure what had happened in the hours that Jim had been gone, but he was certain that it had been instrumental in bringing the young observer back to them. Jim had given him a mumbled story about the "Sandburg determination" and how he'd just gone to get Naomi, but Simon didn't buy it. He knew he might never get the whole story, but he wasn't sure he cared. All that mattered was that _whatever_ had happened, it had brought Blair back, and had saved Jim's life in the process. Of that he was sure. The doctors hadn't held out much hope for the vibrant anthropologist and somehow Simon knew if Blair _had_ died, Jim would have followed soon after. He could have lost them both. It had been a very sobering thought. 

Simon shook off the troubling thoughts and turned his attention back to his bed bound friend, "What do you mean wired Jim? Sandburg's ALWAYS moving twice as fast as everyone else. How can you tell the difference?" 

The joke fell flat as Jim turned serious blue eyes to Simon's face, "It's _too_ frantic Simon. He's running scared and I'm not there to catch him this time." 

Simon pulled one of the chairs closer to the bed and sat, "What do you mean 'this time'? What happened before? He seemed fine after he was released, all the staff psychologists gave him a clean bill of health or I wouldn't have put him back out there with you." 

"He _was_ fine, as long as he didn't have time to think. As long as he was working or had some problem to focus on, he was perfectly fine. That was the problem. Once he had to settle down, he couldn't escape his fears anymore." 

Simon watched the emotions that played across Jim's face as he relived the memories. He took the detective's strong hand in his own, startling the other man out of his reflections. "Jim," he said softly, "start at the beginning. What's going on that has you so worried about Blair?" 

Jim smiled. Gone was 'Captain Simon Banks, head of Major Crimes', this was simply 'Simon Banks, friend'. This was the man who had pulled himself out of bed at 3 am to come and get his highly intoxicated and depressed friend, namely one James Ellison, from a local bar after a particularly bad week. The same Simon who had held him as the resulting hangover forced him to spend far too long on the bathroom floor the next morning and who had dragged him, kicking and screaming, out of his self-destructive bout of self-pity. And this was the Simon who had held him as he finally released all the pain and anguish he had kept locked deep inside after his divorce from Carolyn. There was nothing he couldn't tell this man. 

Taking a deep breath, Jim began, "When we finally got to take Blair home, he seemed fine, weak and a bit jumpy, but _fine_. Even Naomi thought so, otherwise she wouldn't have left. Two nights after she left Blair started having problems sleeping. He tried to act like it was nothing, but I couldn't help but hear him. He sounded so... lost." Jim closed his eyes, trying to block out the memory of those soft, mewling whimpers Blair had made as the nightmares took him. "After a while the nightmares seemed to stop. I didn't realize it was because Blair had stopped sleeping for more than a few hours at a time. He'd go out early and come home late, sometimes going for 24 hours plus without sleeping." Jim paused. 

"He'd promise to rest while I was out, but I know now he didn't. One night I came home to find him nearly asleep on his feet. I couldn't take it any more. I... I picked him up and bodily carried him upstairs to bed." Jim blushed at Simon's amused chuckle but continued after a warning glance at his friend, "He tried to tell me he was fine, but I knew he wasn't. I also knew he wouldn't stay put willingly... so I put him on the bed and then joined him," Jim remembered the feel of the warm body struggling against sleep. Of the way Sandburg had finally curled into his arms and slept. And he remembered how very _right_ it had felt to hold Blair while he slept. 

"And you've been sleeping together ever since." 

Jim looked up, surprised. It hadn't been a question but Jim answered anyway, "yes." 

Simon smiled reassuringly at his friend while his own mind was in turmoil. He pushed his own feelings further back into the shadows and offered his support to the concerned man in the bed. "You think he's back to not sleeping, is that it?" 

"Yeah." 

"What do you want me to do?" 

Jim's answer was forestalled by the reappearance of the roommate in question. Blair knocked hesitantly on the door before peeking in, "Is it ok to come in for a minute?" 

"Of course it is, Chief. Simon was just getting some clarification on my statement. What's up?" 

"Um. I just wanted to let you know that I'm headed to the University. I have some papers that need to be graded before Monday so..." 

"No problem Chief. Can't have you disappointing a class full of anxious anthropology students this close to midterms." 

Blair smiled at his roommate's joke and nodded, "No kidding Man. You think criminals are bad, you haven't _seen_ dangerous until you've had to deal with neurotic undergraduates obsessing over GPA's." 

Simon chuckled at the image, "You want police backup Sandburg? I'm sure we could spare a uniform or two." 

Blair grinned at Simon, "Nah. Besides, Rafe agreed to drive me out there. If worse comes to worse I'll throw _him_ to the students." 

"I heard that Sandburg," came a good natured growl from behind Blair. Jim and Simon didn't miss the twinkle in Rafe's hazel eyes as the detective in question came to stand behind the younger man. Blair turned and tried his best to look menacing while craning his neck to stare up at the young detective. Rafe's signature smile was firmly in place as he handed Blair his jacket, "And as long as one of those students is that pretty blonde who's been helping you with your class notes I'll happily _let_ you throw me to them." 

Blair tried to keep a straight face, but failed. He clutched at his injured ribs as his laughter bubbled up at the look on Rafe's face. "Oh man! Don't make me laugh, it _hurts_. At least now I know _why_ you're always offering to drive me to the University. You just want me to introduce you to Jenny. I see how you are Man, and here I thought BROWN was the one to watch out for." 

Rafe edged Sandburg out of the door and started him towards the elevator. He spared a final glance at his Captain and was relieved to find the imposing man was actually smiling, as was Blair's partner. He nodded to them both before heading after the young man he'd come to consider his friend. "You KNOW that's not the only reason. I've had cracked ribs before Blair, it's not fun. Personally, I think they're worse than broken ones, because all they can do is tape them in place and hope for the best. Every move hurts and driving is the absolute WORST, and I can't imagine you trying to herd that Volvo of yours around right now." 

"Uh huh. I believe you Rafe. But Jenny doesn't _hurt_." 

"Well, now that you mention it..." 

The closing elevator door cut off the rest of the conversation and Simon and Jim finally gave in to the laughter that had been threatening. Simon looked at Jim, pleased to see the humor lines around his friend's eyes again. He looked at Jim and made his decision, "Jim. What would you like me to do?" 

Jim looked at Simon, trying to think how best to phrase what he was going to ask his friend to do. "Simon. I want you look after Blair for me until I get back on my feet. He's worse than I am about accepting help, but I think he needs someone there for him. Something's bothering him but he won't talk to me, maybe he'll talk to you." 

"I'll do what I can Jim. But why do you think he'll open up to me? Surely he'd be more likely to talk to Rafe or Brown." 

"He's going to need more than just someone to talk to Simon. When he finally crashes, he's going to need someone to be there for him. You've always been good at being there when someone hits bottom." Jim looked straight into Simon's dark brown eyes and fervently hoped that he wasn't misreading what he saw there. He took one of Simon's powerful hands in his own, "I don't know if he can _handle_ hitting bottom again so soon. He's stronger than he looks, but this just takes so much out of him Simon. Be there when I can't," he took a deep breath before finishing his request, "Don't let him sleep alone." 

* * *

Jim's words still echoed in Simon's head as he pulled into the parking lot at Ranier several hours later. Of all the things he would have expected from his friend, that one request had not been it. //*Don't let him sleep alone*//. He had tried to argue with Jim, telling him that the younger man would never go for it, but Jim had countered every logical point Simon could produce. In the end it came down to what would be best for Blair. They compromised; Simon agreed to stay at the loft so Blair wouldn't be alone, and if Blair needed him... well, it wouldn't be the first time he'd been used as a giant teddy bear. Jim had smiled at that, as Simon had intended. There was very little Simon wouldn't do for his friend, and they both knew that sentiment went both ways. 

That's why he felt so damned guilty agreeing to do this. It wasn't lying to Sandburg, that he could do. This was for his own good. Jim was right; the kid would push himself until he dropped. Rafe had commented on how anxious Blair seemed and Simon would have had to have been blind to miss the dark circles starting under those beautiful blue eyes. If Jim thought his presence could help Blair, Simon was willing to try. He wasn't above a little deception for a good cause, heaven knew Blair had done the same thing time and again. That wasn't what was bothering him. 

What was bothering him was why he'd agreed so _easily_ to the plan. Ever since he'd scooped the unconscious Sandburg into his arms in the hospital, he hadn't been able to stop thinking how wonderful that body had felt against his own. 

He'd always perceived Blair as delicate, almost fragile. He seemed so small next to Jim, even more so compared to Simon's own large frame. He'd immediately squashed his early attraction to the young man, unable to shake his fear of hurting him, and taken on the role of gruff father figure instead. 

Then he'd held that solid, compact body cradled to his chest and felt the silk of those unruly curls against his own flesh. He'd been surprised at how strongly his body had responded... and how quickly the feel of that body had worked itself into his fantasies. 

//Hell.// 

He'd always thought Sandburg was attractive. From the first moment he'd set eyes on the young man he'd been attracted to his fiery spirit and handsome face. But he'd also been annoyed by how quickly Blair had gotten close to Jim and he'd worried that the young anthropologist had ulterior motives for helping his best detective and friend. He'd been determined to keep a cautious eye on the unusual academic. Then he'd gotten to know the _man_ , the loyal friend who put himself on the line for others, the cool headed trouble magnet who kept everyone on their toes. And he'd seen time and again the way the young man would do anything within his power to keep Jim safe. He'd found a grudging admiration for the younger man that slowly grew into a true and valued friendship. Not that he'd ever admit it to Blair. 

Now there was the added complication of Blair's relationship to Jim. Before, Simon could rationalize away the fantasies because Sandburg was straight. One hundred percent straight and damn sure of his welcome with any woman of his choice. At least Simon had thought so until this afternoon. He hadn't missed the connection, or the love, between the two men when he'd walked into the hospital room. //So much for _that_ assumption//, he thought with a grin. But then, he should be the first to realize that looks could be deceiving. Look at him. Who would think that the macho police captain and divorced father of a teenager would be attracted to both women _and_ men? He'd admitted his own bisexuality long ago; he just hadn't found a man who really did anything for him until Blair. And Jim. 

Jim. That was the other complication. He felt like he was betraying his friend by continuing to entertain fantasies about the young anthropologist. Jim loved the kid, that was obvious. And Simon was pretty sure Sandburg loved Jim as well. He was happy for them. After the divorce Jim had been so alone, he'd needed someone who'd take care of him and that he could take care of in return. Jim was a wonderful study of contradiction, strong and protective but very gentle. It was one of the reasons he'd been so open to the brief relationship they had shared when he'd separated from Joan. He'd been reluctant at first, but Jim had reminded him of how Simon had been there for Jim after his divorce and Simon had to admit that it had helped knowing he'd had someone to turn to. It hadn't been about sex; in fact they'd only had intercourse a few times in the seven years they'd known one another. It had been about support and comfort. Something both men knew was in short supply. There had been many nights in those seven years when they'd shared a bed and just held one another, each just needing the intimacy of another human's touch. Those were memories that Simon cherished, and occasionally dreamed of. 

Now, here he was, trapped in a variation of one of his own fantasies and unable to do anything about it. Jim trusted him to take care of Blair, and somehow Simon doubted that Jim would include 'jumping Blair's beautiful body' under the heading of 'taking care of Blair'. To borrow a phrase from Sandburg, "sometimes life really sucked." 

Taking one last look at his watch, Simon decided to head on up to Blair's office. He exited his car, crushed out the last of his cigar and headed in. It felt strange being here again. The last time he'd been here had been to ask questions about the attack on Blair. He didn't even spare a look at the fountain in front of the main building. He could still see Blair's limp form floating, face down in the clear water, it was an image that haunted his dreams too many times. The fountain was a painful reminder of how close he'd come to losing two very dear friends. 

He found Blair's office easily and knocked on the wood frame. Blair looked up and waved him in. 

"Simon? Welcome to my little corner of academia. What brings you here? I thought Rafe was going to be picking me up." 

Simon tried to look apprehensive, "He was, but... well, I was wondering if I could ask a favor?" 

Blair's shock was evident. "Sure, man. Anything, you know that. What's up?" 

"I had a slight problem with the plumbing at the house and it looks like I'm going to be without water for a few days. Would you mind if I..." he paused in his cover story and summoned up his best exasperated look, "could I crash at the loft for a bit?" 

Blair's smile was nearly blinding, "Sure! No problem. You can even take the upstairs bed." At Simon's raised eyebrow Blair realized his slip and hurried to cover, "I mean, Jim wouldn't mind I'm sure. He just so damned anal about his stuff some times but I'm sure it'd be okay for you to use it. Besides, the loft's been a little too quiet without someone else there." 

Simon interrupted the frantic flow of words reluctantly, enjoying watching the rapid fire cover story that fell from those beautiful lips. "I've talked to Jim, and he said that as long as you were fine with it." 

"No problem. Oh, wait. We'll need to make a stop at the store because there isn't much in the way of food there right now. I've been so busy..." 

"I think we can manage that, Sandburg. You about finished here?" 

Blair looked around the ordered chaos that was his office and nodded, "Nearly. Just let me close this out and I'll be ready." He sat down and worked a few minutes at the computer before Simon heard the familiar sounds of a computer shutting down. Blair repacked his lap top and grabbed his bookbag from the floor, inhaling sharply as he tried to lift the heavy object. 

Simon reached down and took the canvas bag from Blair's grasp. He shouldered it easily, razzed the younger man about carrying bricks, and led Blair out to the waiting car. He didn't miss the younger man's shudder as they passed the fountain and did his best to distract Blair by asking about this "Jenny" that Rafe seemed so interested in. Blair smiled and started telling him what he knew about the young woman, but the haunted look in his blue eyes never quite went away. 

* * *

The evening passed without incident. They had gotten groceries and returned to the loft to fix dinner. Blair had insisted on cooking while Simon got settled in. Blair was a surprisingly good cook and Simon found himself enjoying the ease with which the meal passed. Once they finished, he volunteered to wash dishes and smiled at Blair's half-hearted offer to help. The young man was exhausted, Simon noted, so he insisted that it was the least he could do. Blair nodded gratefully and settled down to finish grading papers. Dishes finished, Simon retired to the couch and began to read the book Daryl had gotten him for his last birthday. 

Before either man realized it, it was after 11pm and Simon decided to head to bed. He thought about asking Blair to join him, but thought better of it. He wanted it to be Blair's decision and so far the young man looked alright. Maybe Jim was mistaken. Simon had a week to find out, and was worried about pushing too hard too fast. He said his good nights to the young graduate student, who was deeply engrossed in the last pile of blue book exams, and headed up the stairs to bed. 

* * *

Blair woke with a barely stifled scream, the after image of Jim falling to his death while trying to reach Blair had burned itself firmly into the young man's mind. It seemed so real. Pushing himself back from the coffee table and the exams he had fallen asleep over, Blair staggered to the kitchen to find some coffee. He couldn't sleep, not yet. He could still dream and every time he dreamed he watched Jim die because of him. He couldn't face that. Not right now. 

His hands shook as he reached for the coffee. He decided against the coffee and reached for some tea instead, it was closer. He put the water on and settled in for yet another long night. 

* * *

Simon woke slowly, as usual. But as he took stock of his surroundings, he realized his left arm was securely pinned to the mattress. He opened his eyes, noticing that it was still dark outside but his view of the clock was obscured by the figure curled next to him. He smiled down at the sleeping young man, taking care not to move and wake him. In sleep, Blair looked even more vulnerable and impossibly young. He resisted the urge to bush the curls back from his face, for fear of waking him. Blair whimpered slightly and Simon drew him closer, ignoring what the feel of Blair's chest hair brushing against his skin was doing to his frame of mind. He murmured soothingly and stroked Blair's slender back until he quieted once more into sleep. Simon drew the blanket up over the bare shoulders and tried to will himself back to sleep as well, but sleep was a long time returning. 

* * *

Simon was in heaven. Blair's warm wet mouth was firmly latched to Simon's nipple, teasing and suckling at the sensitive nub until Simon thought he would burst. He moaned deep in his throat, never had his fantasies seemed so real. The thought pulled him from his sleep and back to reality. He opened one eye and winced at the sunlight filtering in through the skylight, then the mouth started up again. Suddenly Simon was completely awake. 

Blair's compact body was pressed tightly against him, his head resting on Simon's chest. Blair wasn't fully awake, Simon knew, but his body was doing its best to make sure Simon was. Simon could feel his body beginning to respond to the light, lover-like caresses, his manhood swelling as Blair's talented mouth nipped and teased at his chest. He had to stop this now, before both of them ended up regretting it. He used his free hand to gently shake his seducer. "Blair. Wake up." 

"Uh uh." Blair mumbled, snuggling in closer to Simon's warmth and planting a gentle kiss on Simon's chest. 

Simon inhaled deeply as Blair's cotton encased erection pressed against his hip. He had to stop this while he still could. "Blair, open your eyes a minute. I need you to look at me." 

"Why?" 

Simon stifled an exasperated sigh. Even half asleep Blair had to be difficult. "Sandburg," he said calmly as he captured one talented hand that had started to skim down Simon's flat stomach to places further south, "Open your eyes." 

Simon knew the exact moment when Sandburg's brain finally registered the situation. The body that had been curled so enticingly against his began to tremble and Blair tried to pull away. Simon held the slender body close, running soothing hands over the tense back. "It's all right, Blair, just relax. You're fine." 

"Oh God... Simon I'm so sorry!" Blair mumbled into Simon's broad chest, the heat from his blush clearly evident to the larger man. 

"Blair, it's all right. I don't mind." //Don't mind?!? Hell, I wish I didn't have to make you stop!// Simon thought with frustration. "Just relax," he murmured, "relax." He kept up the steady litany and stroked the soft hair under his hand until Blair finally relaxed against him. Only then did he dare loosen his grasp on the younger man. He pushed back the curtain of hair and searched the embarrassed face before him. "You want to talk about it?" 

"I... Simon, I'm so sorry. I don't even know how I got up here, man. The last thing I remember was falling asleep over the exams once more and deciding it was finally time to go to sleep. Then I woke up here. I'm sorry, Simon. I never meant..." 

"Blair, how long has it been since you've had a full night's sleep?" 

"I'm managing." 

"That's not what I asked, Sandburg. How long since you've had a full eight hours?" 

"Last week, I guess." He finally looked up into Simon's warm brown eyes, expecting to see shock or disgust, instead he saw only concern. The long, graceful fingers brushed through his curls again and Blair sighed, it felt so good to have someone do that again. He felt himself relaxing despite the situation. "Simon, I should go." 

Simon smiled at the lack of conviction in the statement, besides he wasn't ready to give up the feel of that body relaxing against his _just_ yet. "Blair, you're already here and neither of us have to be anywhere today so just relax and go back to sleep. It's all right. Trust me." 

"But..." 

Simon summoned up his best "Captain" voice, "Go to _sleep_ Sandburg." 

"Yes sir," Blair answered sarcastically as he relaxed,his head resting comfortably on Simon's chest. 

Simon silently stroked Blair's back in long soothing motions until the younger man's breathing evened out into the steady cadence of sleep. He looked longingly down at the handsome face resting so trustingly against him and wondered just what exactly he had gotten himself into. 

* * *

For the first time since he'd awoken in the hospital, Blair slept a full eight hours without dreaming. 

* * *

Blair woke, eight hours later, alone in Jim's bed clutching tightly to Jim's pillow and more rested then he'd been in days. Then the memory of the incident that morning intruded on him and he couldn't stop blushing. He suddenly wished for Sentinel hearing so he could tell where Simon was and what he was doing. He was almost afraid to go downstairs and find out. Steeling his courage, Blair drew back the covers and pulled himself from the bed. The loft was quiet, but Blair got the feeling that he wasn't alone. He rummaged through the drawers and found one of Jim's t-shirts and a pair of his own sweats. He smiled as he realized Jim must have put them there after doing laundry last time. 

Thoughts of Jim brought him crashing back to reality. It wasn't bad enough that his own stupidity had landed his partner in the hospital, now he had to add insult to injury by throwing himself at Jim's best friend and commanding officer. //Real BRIGHT Sandburg!// he berated himself, //REAL bright!// He sat down heavily on the bed and clutched Jim's t-shirt to his chest. He fought back the wave of panic as he tried to sort through the images of the past few days. He'd been nightmaring again so he did like always, worked himself until he dropped so he _wouldn't_ dream. The dreams were all too familiar, Jim coming to harm because of Blair's own lack of training, either as a police officer or as his Guide. 

Only this time the dreams were worse, because now Blair could finally admit that he was in love with Jim, so losing Jim was even harder. He had once wondered if he was cursed. Every time he truly fell for someone, he lost them. Usually they just left, but sometimes... sometimes the leaving was permanent. He still remembered going to Richard's funeral. That had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, to go and stand with Richard's family as they laid the vibrant young man to rest. They all assured him that it wasn't his fault, well _Nearly_ all anyway, but if he hadn't insisted on working late on his project, _he_ would have been the one driving them back instead of Richard. Maybe then he would have been the one killed when an oncoming car had crossed the center line and hit them. But he hadn't been. And he hadn't been awake enough to warn Richard either. He'd failed the first man who'd ever shown him the wonder of stability. He'd been with Richard for almost three years when the accident happened. Three years. Almost as long as he'd been with Jim. 

Was that why Jim scared him so much? Because he'd found that same stability and love with Jim that he'd found with Richard? He couldn't help but wonder. Before it hadn't been an issue, it had been about friendship... or at least that's what he kept telling himself, and Jim. Then, as he watched his friendship slipping away because of his own stupidity he'd finally admitted it. He loved Jim Ellison. After Jim had kicked him out of the loft he'd had a lot of time to think, and he knew that he wanted nothing more than to be with his Sentinel. Then Alex had taken him from his office at gunpoint. His last conscious thought as she had held his head under the water was he wished he could tell Jim how he felt. 

It had sounded good at the time. 

Then he'd come to in the hospital with Jim caressing his face saying he needed Blair and all the old fears came back full force. His first instinct was to run, but he knew he couldn't. He loved Jim too much for that. It wasn't about his thesis, or Jim's Sentinel abilities, or even just friendship anymore, it was about love. They decided to try. It hadn't been easy, but they were working through it. He knew Jim loved him, and he loved Jim, but then something like this would happen and Blair would find himself waiting to hear that Jim was gone. 

Suddenly, all the tension of the past week battered him and he couldn't stop the tears that began to fall. He buried his face in Jim's shirt, inhaling, trying to find some lingering scent of the man who held his heart. 

Simon had heard Blair moving upstairs and decided to give the younger man time to collect himself before seeing what he wanted to eat. Then he'd heard the pained whimper. He was up the stairs as fast as his long legs would carry him. Blair was sitting on the far side of the bed, his back to the stairs. His strong shoulders shook as he rocked slightly, a gray t-shirt pressed to his face to quiet the sobs. 

Simon approached him slowly, "Blair?" 

Blair straightening, wiping at his eyes with the back of one hand. "I'm fine Simon. Just a bit... overwhelmed that's all. I'll be fine." 

Simon knelt beside the dark haired man, laying a comforting hand on Blair's bare shoulder. Blair tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it. Without a word, Simon moved to Blair's side on the bed and carefully drew the other man to him. Blair accepted the gesture gratefully, leaning into the broad chest and holding on for dear life as the waves of anguish washed over him. Simon simply held him, stroking his back in slow circles until the tears finally quieted to soft hiccups. He reached over to the box of tissues he'd seen on the desk and handed one to Blair who accepted it with a small smile. 

"I'm sorry Simon. I'm not normally like this," he said softly. 

"I know Blair. But even the strongest men have to get it out sometime. And it sounds like you've been holding back a lot." 

"I..," his mind struggled for something to say, some way to thank the gentle man holding him, but nothing came. 

Simon smiled at the sudden quiet. "I'll be damned. I never thought I'd see you at a loss for words Sandburg." Blair's smile finally reached the expressive blue eyes. Simon hugged the smaller man gently, careful of his injured ribs, "That's better. Now, would you care to talk about it? Sometimes it helps." 

"I... I think I would but not just yet." 

Simon nodded and eased the other man back a bit, "All right. Tell you what. You shower and get dressed and _I'll_ cook tonight. Then we'll talk. Deal?" 

Blair took a deep breath and looked deep into the open face before him, "Deal." 

Simon moved off the bed and headed down the stairs allowing Blair to gather his things and head down to the shower. 

* * *

Thirty minutes later the two men were busy clearing away the remains of the simple but delicious pasta salad that Simon had made and Blair was starting to get nervous. He felt better than he had, but the thought of telling someone, especially Simon, about his irrational fears made him want to run for the nearest exit. 

As if sensing his thoughts, Simon handed Blair a glass of iced tea and steered him to the couch. "Blair, I'm not going to bite you." //No matter how much I might want to,// he thought with a frustrated sigh. "I just want you to know that I'm here to listen. Jim's worried about you and so am I. You're a good man, and I hate to see you tearing yourself up like this. I know from experience it helps to talk about it." 

"I'm not sure where to start." 

"Where ever you're comfortable starting. I'm here as your friend, not your Captain. Anything you stay will be strictly between us. I promise." 

Blair looked intently at the large, dark skinned man before him. The strong face was relaxed and the dark brown eyes held only concern as he waited for Blair to start. He'd been intimidated by Simon when he'd first met him, but now he counted the imposing man as one of his few true friends. He trusted Simon, almost as much as he trusted Jim. Without allowing himself to second guess the prudence of trusting Simon with his fears, Blair began to haltingly confide in the solid presence beside him. 

Simon listened as Blair began to tell him about the nightmares he was having, of watching Jim die over and over and his heart went out to the young observer. He silently chastised himself for not realizing the toll the job was taking on the sensitive man. Blair had come to be such a valuable part of the team that Simon sometimes forgot that Blair hadn't had the training that his other officers had on dealing with the stresses and traumas of the job they did. He said as much to Blair and promised to schedule a time for Blair to talk with some of the precinct specialists if he'd like. Blair had seemed genuinely surprised by Simon's comments. 

"Do you really think I'm a valuable part of the team?" 

"Of course I do! You've proven your worth time and again Blair, and not just with Jim and this whole Sentinel thing. You've got good instincts, a good way with people, and a new way of looking at things that has helped break open a lot of cases. AND you're a hell of a lot better at paperwork than Jim _ever_ was." 

Blair laughed, "Thank you, Simon. That means a lot coming from you. I worry that sometimes I'm just seen as a 'tag-a-long.' That I'm not taken seriously." 

"Do you think Taggert would put up with someone he didn't take seriously giving him advice? Or Brown, or Rafe, or any _number_ of the other officers you've worked with? Think about it Blair. Besides, do you think I'd keep around someone who was a hindrance to our job?" 

"no." 

"Good. Now what's this about Jim's injuries being your fault?" 

Blair found himself telling Simon about fears he hadn't even realized he's been harboring until he'd voiced them. Fears of his lack of training and his impetuous nature getting Jim injured or killed. Simon listened without comment for a long time and then started to counter some of Blair's more self-incriminating arguments with examples of how Blair had helped, not hindered, the situations. They spoke for hours, Simon telling Blair of some of his own early experiences and offering what support he could to the worried young man. Both men were surprised by the ease that grew between them in those few short hours. Blair had to admit he felt much more relaxed by the time Simon suggested they head out and grab some dinner, his treat. It wasn't until they pulled up outside one of Jim's favorite Chinese restaurants that Blair realized that he'd not talked to his partner all day. 

Simon smiled at the guilt on the younger man's expressive face, "Don't worry Sandburg, he's fine. I talked to him before you woke up. He was relieved you were finally sleeping." 

"Finally?" 

"Sandburg, Jim is a detective as well as your friend. Do you honestly believe that he wouldn't notice something like that? He was worried about you." 

"Why do I have the feeling I got set up? What exactly was wrong with the pipes at your place Simon?" It was Simon's turn to look guilty. "Oh MAN! How could I have been SO gullible?" 

"Calm down, Sandburg. Jim was concerned and so was I. You weren't being gullible, you just finally realized you needed someone to talk to. It's not a crime. And you're not the first person to have to be 'convinced' that it's ok to open up. Jim was right about one thing, you're worse than he is about accepting help." 

"What do you mean?" 

"At least I didn't have to come get you at 3:30 in the morning from some bar because you'd finally hit bottom." 

"You're kidding right? You can't be talking about Jim." 

"Mister 'I'm perfectly in control' himself. You think you cornered the market on stubborn?" 

The rest of the evening passed in easy conversation. 

* * *

The two men entered the loft in silence, both reluctant for the evening to end. Blair tossed the keys into the basket by the door and moved to the couch, assuming a familiar cross-legged position on the cushions. He yawned as he eyed the few remaining exams on the table. He knew he should try and finish them before going to bed, but he was so tired. Simon joined him on the couch, his long legs stretched out in front of him. 

Simon finally broke the silence, "Blair, since you know that my house is fine would you rather I go?" 

The question caught Blair off guard and he felt the momentary panic he'd come to associate with being alone in the loft since the explosion. "NO! I mean, unless you'd rather go home." 

Simon hadn't missed the desperation in the young man's voice, "No Blair. If you want me to stay I will. I know what it's like to not want to be alone." 

Blair studied the calm face before him. "Joan?" he asked quietly. 

"Yeah. Joan. It's never easy going back to sleeping alone after you've gotten use to having someone beside you. No matter how awkward it may have been." 

Blair thought of how comfortable he'd gotten sleeping with Jim, and how much he'd missed it the past few days. Taking a firm grip on his fears he asked Simon for a favor, "Simon. Would you mind if I joined you in Jim's bed again tonight? I mean, if you're not comfortable with it I'll understand." 

A graceful, long fingered hand captured Blair's restless ones and Blair turned to face Simon. The older man was smiling at him, "I'd like that, Blair. If it's all right with you." 

Blair's smile went straight to Simon's heart, "Yeah. It's cool with me." 

* * *

Simon settled in to the bed and smiled as a familiar warmth settled beside him. He drew the younger man closer and sighed as the silken curls snuggled against his shoulder. 

There was a nervous silence until Blair's voice sounded in the darkness, "You're sure this is ok?" 

"Sandburg..." 

"Just checking man. Just checking." 

Simon couldn't help but chuckle at the whispered, "Cool" he heard just before he drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

The next day found the two men visiting their friend at the hospital. Jim was pleased with the improvement in his partner even _after_ Blair had taken him to task about sending Simon to "look after him". Jim was so glad to have the old Blair back, he readily accepted responsibility for the whole thing. 

Simon watched the exchange between the two with mixed emotions. He was pleased that Blair seemed back to his old self and he could see how the news improved Jim's spirits. But that didn't lessen the ache he buried deep inside himself as he watched the ease between the two of them. He left them alone, giving them time to talk. He'd convinced Blair to talk to Jim about his fears, to give the detective a chance to tell Blair _his_ view of the events. Simon pretty much knew what Jim would tell the younger man, but he knew it would have more impact coming from Jim than from him. 

He headed to the nurse's station to check on Jim's progress and was surprised to learn that Jim might be going home several days earlier that expected. That meant that Jim could be home by the end of the week or the beginning of the next. Simon was glad for his friend's recovery; he knew how much Jim hated hospitals. But part of him wished he could have just a little longer with a certain vibrant anthropologist. He knew he shouldn't even be thinking it, but he liked the rapport he'd found with the younger man, and he was going to miss it. Once Jim was back, Blair would have all the support he needed. 

* * *

Blair hadn't missed the look on Simon's face as he'd left. He turned to Jim and was startled to see that Jim apparently hadn't either. Jim was staring at Blair as if trying to decide how to ask something important. Blair asked it for him, "Jim, how close are you and Simon?" 

"What do you mean, Chief?" Jim hedged, not sure what his friend was getting at. 

"I mean, have you and Simon ever been involved?" 

"Yes." 

The direct answer surprised Blair. He'd expected to have to wheedle it out of the reserved Sentinel. "Oh." 

"Is that a problem, Chief?" 

Blair took his partner's hand and smiled, "For us? No. For Simon? I don't know." He turned serious eyes to his Sentinel, "Jim, how long has Simon been alone?" 

"You were there when he signed the papers Blair." 

"But they were separated before that, weren't they?" 

"Yeah." 

"So how long were they separated?" 

"Officially, six months." At Blair's exasperated look Jim amended his answer, "Unofficially, almost a year. They tried, for Daryl's sake, but it just didn't work. It wasn't easy on him. He loved her and it got really nasty towards the end." 

"Damn. Has he always seemed so... alone?" 

"Yeah. He has a hard time getting close to people, Chief. But once you get close, you've got a friend for life." 

"Or a lover?" 

Jim looked at Blair, trying to guess where this was leading. He knew where he _hoped_ it was leading, but he wasn't sure so he remained still, letting Blair think out loud. "Jim. I... would you be open to... oh hell." 

Jim drew Blair closer and stroked his handsome face, "If you're asking if I'd mind bringing Simon into our relationship, no I don't mind. I was kinda hoping you'd agree if I asked. He's a very special man Blair, and I'm tired of watching him hurting." 

"You know this isn't going to be easy." 

"When has ANYTHING been easy for us? Now we just have to convince Simon that this arrangement can work. But Blair, no matter what happens, I don't want to lose Simon's friendship." Blair nodded his agreement. "So what do we do now? This is new water for me Chief. How 'bout you?" 

"Closest I've ever come to this was the DelCosta twins and that was just for two months. I want this to be about more than just two months." 

"You've got my vote Chief. But we've got to show Simon that it can work. I think we've got our work cut out for us. Now, who are the DelCosta twins?" 

* * *

That night at the loft Blair curled up close to Simon and casually draped his arm across the older man's chest. Simon gently stroked the younger man's arm, marveling at the contrast between his own dark skin and Blair's paleness. Blair smiled up at Simon and twined his own fingers with the Captain's long, graceful ones. He felt the same sense of belonging with Simon as he did with Jim and his resolve to find a way to include Simon in their lives strengthened. With a small smile on his lips, Blair allowed himself to sleep, cradled in the safety of Simon's strong arms. 

* * *

Simon walked into Jim's hospital room two days later to be greeted by a very exuberant Blair Sandburg. Judging by the smile that was threatening to split the young man's face Simon guessed that the doctor's report had been a favorable one. "So what's the verdict Professor?" 

Blair smiled at the endearment and drew Simon forward to stand with him by Jim's bed. "He's got a clean bill of health and should be able to come home on Friday." 

//Three days, Banks. Three more days to savor that young man before you have to give him up//. Simon managed to smile and clasped his detective's hand, "It's about time you got out of this bed, Cowboy. You've got a mountain of paperwork waiting for you back at the office." 

Jim knew his friend too well to be fooled by the smile and deliberately light tone, but he pretended not to notice. "You mean my partner hasn't been covering it for me?" he asked with a mock-hurt look at Blair. 

"Excuse me, but your partner has been too busy grading midterms and dealing with his _own_ job to cover yours too." 

"Chief, I'm hurt," Jim pouted. 

"And you're healing. Your hands aren't broken so you'll be MORE than able to start catching up when you get back. I'm drowning in my _own_ paperwork right now, 'Partner'. Sometimes I think I'd _rather_ do your forms than wade through another paragraph of 'let's see if the grader will get tired of reading before he realizes I haven't got a CLUE what he's asking about'," Blair laughed. 

"That bad," Jim asked sympathetically. 

"Worse," Blair sighed. "But you almost want to give some of them points for imagination. You can't believe some of the stuff they try and pull. You know, sometimes I can't help but wonder if my profs said the same things about me." 

Jim reached out and ruffled Blair's hair, "They probably still do, Chief." 

Simon watched the easy banter between his friends with a suppressed sigh. He envied them this, the ease Jim had with Blair, the way Blair seemed to gravitate towards his partner, the soft smiles and reassuring touches. They looked good together, and happy. The ache in his heart grew, and he shifted back slightly from the two. 

Jim watched as Simon drew away from them, pulling back into a shell of gruff self-sufficiency that Jim knew far too well. He had to bring Simon back to them. "Don't you agree, Simon?" 

Simon paused, startled that Jim even knew he was still there. "I know I say it," he answered, managing to summon and hold his best 'I am not amused' face for the hapless police observer. 

"Hey!" Blair protested, "I'm not THAT bad. Am I?" 

Simon's control held. Barely. He raised an eyebrow at Blair as if to say 'what do you think?' and Jim almost broke. He smiled behind his partner's back, knowing that Simon was baiting Blair and loving it. He let Blair squirm. 

Blair, not as use to Simon's teasing as Jim was, was starting to worry. He studied the larger man's closed body language and looked deep into the dark brown eyes. That's when he saw that mischievous spark Simon only got when he was joking. He decided to play it for a bit, warmed the man was comfortable enough to tease him. He summoned his best 'puppy-dog look' as Jenny called it and turned his pleading blue eyes full force on the handsome black man, "Am I?" he asked softly. 

Simon almost broke. Those eyes. He could happily drown in those dark blue eyes. Blair focused on him like he were the only person left in the world, and Simon felt himself flush. He watched mesmerized as Blair slowly closed the distance between them, flowing towards him, the blue eyes never losing their intensity. God the man was gorgeous. It was taking everything Simon had not to grab Blair and kiss him senseless. 

Blair's hand skimmed over his crossed arms, the 'almost' touch causing Simon to shiver. Fathomless blue eyes ringed with thick, dark lashes peered up at him from beneath a tumble of dark chocolate curls. Luscious, entirely too kissable lips pouted, drawing Simon's gaze, then parted, allowing the dark pink tongue to dance over them, leaving them shimmering with moisture. Simon longed to capture those full lips and see if they tasted as exotic as they looked, but still his control held. The fingers on his arm traced seductive circles and Blair's voice was husky when he finally spoke, "Am I that _bad_ Simon?" 

//dear god...// With a barely suppressed moan Simon managed a hushed, "Worse." 

Blair's smile was almost feral now, "Good. I'd hate to think I was losing my touch." His strong hand curled around Simon's forearm in a surprisingly intimate "hug" and Simon's control finally slipped. He growled at the young tease and caught the slender shoulders in a firm grip. He held Blair fast as he contemplated which to do first, throttle the young man for his audasicity or kiss him until neither of them could breathe. One look at Blair's flushed face stopped Simon in his tracks. 

Blair was watching him intently, calmly, and the trust in those beautiful eyes took Simon's breath away. Most men would be cowering before the power in Simon's large form, but not Blair. Blair stood watching, as if wanting to see what Simon would do next. Simon simply stared, as if trying to figure out what exactly had just happened. One of his large hands slid upwards of its own accord, the fingers burying themselves in the silken mass of Blair's hair while the thumb brushed over one high cheekbone. Blair leaned into the touch and sighed, the blue eyes closing as he nuzzled the older man's palm. 

Simon inhaled sharply at the touch and forced himself to back away from his seducer. Blair's arms wrapped around Simon's waist and drew him close once more. "It's all right Simon," he whispered, "trust me." 

"Why?" Simon asked, not sure exactly what he was questioning. 

"Because." Without loosening his hold on the older man's waist Blair led Simon back to Jim's bedside and urged the larger man into the chair. 

Jim smiled at his partner. "What happened to slow and subtle, Chief?" 

Blair smiled mischievously as he ran his hand gently over the Captain's tense shoulders, "Subtlety is _so_ overrated sometimes. Besides, he was about to bolt and _neither_ of us want that." 

Simon was staring at his two friends as if they had both suddenly sprouted tails and started speaking ancient Minoan, "James, would you care to fill me in on what's going on here?" 

Jim grinned at his superior and friend. His Sentinel senses could smell the phermones pouring from Simon's body and there was no mistaking the growing bulge tenting Simon's dress pants. "I'd think it would be pretty obvious Simon. We're trying to seduce you." 

The brown eyes widened, " _We_!?!?" 

Jim chuckled and Blair's smile widened. Jim took one of Simon's hands in his own. "Yes _we._ Is that a problem?" 

"I... No." The large man spared a glance at the man standing at his shoulder. "So now what, Professor? Since you seem to be in charge of this seduction." 

"Only because Jim can't get out of bed yet. Otherwise _he_ probably would have approached you. At least that was the original plan." 

"Excuse me? _JIM?_ Why Jim?" Simon still couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

Blair smiled and blushed, "Why? Because you and Jim have a history,man. I didn't know if you'd... well, if you'd be open to something like this if _I_ asked." 

Simon's gaze snapped up at the words, his eyes darting back and forth between the two men, "You make it sound like you've been discussing this." 

"We have," Jim answered simply. 

Simon's jaw dropped as he focused on the tall man lying in the hospital bed. Surely they couldn't mean... "Why?" 

"Because this is a big step and we wanted to make sure we were doing it for the right reasons," Jim said softly. "And before you jump to any conclusions, this was _my_ idea, not Blair's." 

"Our idea," Blair corrected gently 

Jim smiled at his partner then turned light blue eyes on the man who sat so quietly beside him, "Simon, are you ok with this?" 

//You hand me one of my private fantasies on a silver platter and then ask me if I'm ok with it? Ok... I'm ecstatic!// He squeezed Jim's hand reassuringly and smiled up at Blair, "Yeah, I'm ok with this. Are _you_ sure?" 

In answer, Blair leaned in and kissed Simon's full lips. Simon wrapped his arms around the solid form carefully, still mindful of Blair's injured ribs, and kissed Blair back with an intensity that left them both a bit shaken. 

"Thank you," Jim whispered roughly from where he lay on the bed watching them. He reached out and stroked first Simon's face then Blair's. "You have no idea how happy you've made me." 

Blair leaned in and kissed Jim softly, "I think I have an idea though." He and Jim had spent much of the past few days discussing their relationship with each other and with Simon. Blair couldn't help but wonder if the handsome police captain knew how much they cared for him, or how much the Sentinel loved him. Jim had told him about his and Simon's time together and Blair was warmed by the obvious love his tender-hearted partner had for the gruff, older cop. And after spending so much time with Simon in the past few days, Blair knew that Simon cared for Jim as well. 

Once upon a time, hearing that his partner loved someone else so strongly would have devastate Blair. But not now. He _KNEW_ how Jim felt about him, had seen for himself the depth of Jim's love and the lengths Jim would go to for him. He loved Jim and Jim loved him and there was more than enough room left in both their hearts for Simon. Bringing Simon into their lives this way seemed the next 'logical' step. Jim had been afraid that Simon would run, or worse, end their friendship. Judging by the warmth of the solid arm draped around his waist, Blair doubted they had anything to fear on that front. 

He kissed his partner's forehead, "I love you James Joseph Ellison," he whispered Sentinel soft and was rewarded with another kiss. 

"I love you too, Blair Sandburg. Now go home and get some sleep, you look exhausted." Blair moved back and Jim reached out to Simon, "Take him home and make sure he sleeps would you Simon?" Simon nodded. Jim saw the lingering doubts in his friend's eyes and pulled him closer. Simon leaned in willingly and was surprised when Jim's lips brushed against his own. He shyly returned the kiss and felt Jim chuckle. Jim's arm wrapped around Simon's shoulders, one large hand coming up to cradle the base of Simon's skull and draw the large man in for an even deeper kiss. Jim kissed him like he had when they had first become lovers, so many years ago. He kissed Simon with all the passion, respect and love he still carried for the older man and tried to convince Simon without words that he was truly wanted. 

Simon moaned deep in his throat and pulled back from Jim's attention, "If you want Blair to get any sleep tonight you'll stop now, Tiger." 

Jim smiled at the old nickname, "Oh I think you'll find that Blair can hold his own, lover. Just remember that you _both_ have to work tomorrow." 

Simon blushed at the familiar jibe, and the welcome endearment. How many times had that stopped _them_ , the knowledge that one, or both, of them would have to work the following day? He couldn't help but smile at the laughter lurking in Jim's blue eyes, "I'll make sure he gets _some_ sleep at least." 

An arm snaked itself around Simon's waist. Simon straightened, draping his arm over Blair's shoulders to pull the younger man tight against him. Blair snuggled in close and stared at the two men, "Don't _I_ get a say in this?" "No." "Not really." Jim and Simon looked at each other, startled by the overlapping answers, then burst into laughter. Simon kissed the top of Blair's head and stroked the soft curls, "I'll take good care of him Jim." 

"I know you will, and he better take good care of you. I expect you both to be well rested and eager when I get out of this joint. We've wasted too much time as it is." Jim smiled as both men blushed. He knew he should be ashamed of himself, but baiting the two of them was too much fun. They needed each other almost as much as he needed them, now he just had to make sure they knew that as well. "Go home, both of you. The quicker you're gone, the quicker it gets to be tomorrow and the quicker I get to come home. Take care and I'll see you both tomorrow, right?" 

Simon turned and grinned, "Unless I get a better offer, Tiger." 

They laughed and Blair leaned in and kissed Jim once more, "Take care Jim, we'll be back tomorrow." He ran his hand lovingly through Jim's thick, soft hair and leaned in for a quick hug before turning to go. He crossed to where Simon stood by the door and felt a large hand settle on his shoulder. He smiled up at Simon and with one final farewell they left. 

[Continued in part two](ofsleep_a.html).


	2. Of Sleep and Dreams part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> see part one for chapter summary and notes

Of Sleep and Dreams - part two   
by Kender  
NC-17 : B/S/J 

Blair and Simon settled into Simon's car in comfortable silence. Blair watched Simon surreptitiously as the older man smoothly eased the large car on to the road and headed towards the loft. Simon maneuvered the car easily through the early evening traffic, his capable hands caressing the leather steering wheel as long fingers absentmindedly matched the rhythm of the radio. Blair smiled at the gesture, so like his own, and found his mind wondering how it would feel to have those large hands caressing him. He shifted as his jeans suddenly got a bit tighter. 

"You ok over there, Sandburg?" 

Simon's voice cut through Blair's imaginations, "Yeah," he answered, his voice a bit breathless, " I'm ok." 

Simon looked over at Blair, concerned by the sound of the younger man's voice. Blair blushed and shifted around a bit more in the seat. Simon suddenly realized _why_ Blair's voice sounded so husky and grinned. He reached out and gently stroked Blair's hair and was pleased when the younger man smiled back, leaning into the touch. "You're more than just ok Professor," Simon teased. 

Blair's laughter bubbled up around them, "Oh man. I NEVER thought I'd hear a line like that from you Simon. Thank you." Simon just smiled, glad to see Blair smiling again. Without a word he entwined his fingers with Blair's and they passed the rest of the drive in easy silence. 

* * *

Blair placed the pan of squash into the oven and set the timer before moving back into the living room. Simon sat on the couch flipping through one of Blair's anthropology journals and Blair joined him, "That's a particularly good issue. There's a fascinating article on one of the tribes I spent some time with after I got my bachelor's degree. The main family grouping they talk about was the one I stayed with for the first month I was there. There are some really great pictures of the main village and the tribal elders and...." 

"Relax Professor. I'm not going to bite." 

Blair laughed and ran a hand nervously through his hair, pushing it back from his face. "Am I being that obvious?" 

"Not really, but I know you. Every time you get nervous you start lecturing... and you're lecturing, Professor." 

Blair blushed, "Sorry." 

Simon smiled and caught Blair's hands in his own, "It's ok, Blair. It's part of your charm." 

"Really?" 

Simon laughed at the eager uncertainly in Blair's voice, "Really. But if you tell anybody else I ever said it, I'll deny it." 

Blair stared at Simon, unsure how to take the statement until Simon smiled. Blair's smile matched Simon's and he visibly relaxed. Simon hadn't realized how very nervous Blair was until that moment. He moved to reassure Blair, "Professor? You know I'm kidding don't you?" 

"yeah... at least I..." 

That was all Simon needed to hear. He reached over and drew Blair easily into his arms. " _Never_ doubt that I think you're valuable, Sandburg," he said. "You have proven yourself over and over again and your eclectic store of knowledge has helped us out many times. I have bragged about you time and again to the higher ups Blair, and I'll continue to do so." 

Blair pulled back to look at Simon's face, afraid that the older man was joking with him. But the brown eyes held no trace of humor, just genuine concern. "Simon?" 

"Yes I really mean it Blair." 

Blair laughed, "Sorry. I just worry." 

Simon hugged Blair close, "You worry too much Professor. I told you before, I wouldn't put up with someone who was a hindrance to our work. You're a valuable part of our team and don't you forget it." 

Blair was silent for a long time but Simon didn't push. Blair would work it out soon enough, and until _he_ was satisfied with the answer, no amount of reassurance from Simon would help. Finally Blair pushed back from Simon's chest and studied Simon's face intently, "Simon?" he asked tentatively. 

Simon pushed a stray lock of hair back from Blair's face, "Yeah Teach?" 

Blair smiled at the new nickname and leaned his cheek against Simon's large hand, "May I... may I kiss you?" 

"I'd like that Blair. I'd like that very much." Blair leaned forward slowly, as if uncertain of his reception even after Simon's consent, so Simon closed the distance between them himself. Blair's lips were soft under his own and Simon tenderly explored the offered expanse. He nipped at Blair's full lower lip then traced the flesh with his tongue. He teased at the crease between the pouting lips until they parted and he was allowed access to the heat of Blair's mouth. 

Blair's tongue met his as Simon deepened the kiss. Simon moaned as Blair's solid body pressed tightly against him and strong arms wrapped around his neck. Simon wrapped his arms around Blair's narrow waist and pulled the young man firmly into his lap. Blair sighed and settled into Simon's embrace and began his own exploration of the older man's mouth. Both men were breathless when they finally parted. 

Blair leaned his head against Simon's shoulder and struggled to control his erratic breathing as Simon's large hands moved slowly over his back in soothing circles. Blair shuddered and tightened his grip around Simon's shoulders sighing into the larger man's neck. "God, Simon. That was... incredible." 

Simon's deep chuckle rumbled under Blair's hands and the anthropologist smiled. "You weren't too bad yourself, lover," Simon purred against Blair's hair. 

Blair froze. 

"Blair?" Simon drew back slightly and lifted Blair's chin so that their eyes met, "What's wrong, Professor? Talk to me. Is this moving too fast for you?" 

Blair shook off his momentary shock and hurried to reassure Simon, "No. No. I want this Simon, believe me I want this. It's just..." 

"Just what, lover?" Simon prompted. This time there was no mistaking the shudder that went through the smaller man. "Blair?" Blair's eyes darted around the room, before focusing in on the second button on Simon's dark burgundy shirt. His hands toyed with the button until Simon's graceful fingers closed over them, stilling them. "Blair," Simon prompted again, "talk to me. What have I done that's scared you silent?" 

Blair's eyes flashed upwards, locking on Simon's face in stunned surprise, "You haven't scared me Simon. It's just... would you mind calling me something else?" 

"Something besides 'Lover' you mean?" 

"Yes," the whispered reply was issued through a curtain of dark curls as Blair once again became enthralled with the buttons on Simon's shirt. 

Simon couldn't help but wonder why a simple word would affect the young man so strongly, but the time for questions could wait. Blair needed reassurance now, not an interrogation. Pushing aside his curiosity for the moment, Simon whispered huskily, "How about I stick with Professor, Teach, or Sexy?" 

Blue eyes peeked out from under long dark lashes, "You think I'm sexy?" 

Simon chuckled at the childlike tone in Blair's voice, "Very. But you didn't answer my question: are those ok?" 

Blair smiled shyly up at the large man, "Yeah, man, they're all just fine." 

Simon could feel his body responding to the young man's nearness and shifted to ease the tightness in his slacks. Blair shifted as well, moving to straddle Simon's firm thighs and wrapping himself around the larger man. Simon sighed deeply and gave into temptation, capturing Blair's lips once more. Blair moaned into Simon's mouth and pressed himself more firmly against Simon's groin, drawing a strangled gasp from the policeman. Simon gripped Blair's waist tightly and thrust up against the denim encased hardness of Blair's own arousal. 

"Yessssss," Blair hissed, pressing downward to meet Simon's movements. He wrapped his arms tighter around Simon's strong shoulders and buried his face against the pillar of the other man's neck. Large hands skimmed down Blair's hips and cupped his ass cheeks, pulling him forward into the heat of Simon's body. Blair nipped at Simon's neck, whimpering at the sensations surging through him as he gave in to Simon's silent demands. He could feel Simon's erection pressing against his own and felt his own body responding in kind. 

_buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... CRASH!!!!_

The two men jumped apart guiltily at the sharp sound from the kitchen, Blair nearly falling from his place on Simon's lap. 

"What the HELL was that!?!?" 

Blair waited for his heart to calm to its normal rhythm before trying to answer, "THAT was the kitchen timer telling me to warm the chicken so it'll be ready at the same time as the squash." 

Simon stared at the disheveled vision perched on his knees, "Excuse me?" 

Blair blushed, "Dinner. I set the old timer so I'd know when to start the chicken. I must not have set it far enough back on the counter. It has a tendency to vibrate itself across the cabinet." 

Simon blinked. Simon grinned. Then Simon started to laugh. Blair couldn't help but match the infectious sound as the humor of the situation hit him. He leaned into Simon's chest and delighted in the simple joy of the shared moment. He took a deep breath and wiped at his watering eyes, "Why do I feel like a teenager just busted while making out on the couch?" 

"Sandburg... we _were_ making out on the couch," Simon said mischievously. Blair blushed again and Simon kissed him tenderly before urging him to get up, "Blair... dinner." 

"oh. Yeah. Dinner." 

Simon eased Blair to his feet and steered the younger man into the kitchen, following close behind. He leaned back against the counter, keeping out of Blair's way while indulging in a favorite pastime... watching the dark haired man bustle about. Before, he'd only seen Blair in Jim's element - the precinct, on a case, or in danger - and Simon had been intrigued by the grace of the smaller man's movements. Even scared to death, Blair managed to look graceful. Here in the small kitchen, Blair seemed like poetry in motion. It was cliched and Simon knew it, but he couldn't think of a better way to describe the way Blair moved in _his_ environment. Simon had a sudden urge to see what Blair was like when he taught. He'd lay even odds that Blair could enthrall an entire classroom with ease, and not just because of his looks. Simon realized with a start just how long it had been since he'd felt this 'at home' with ANYONE else, and he wondered if Jim gained the same sense of peace around the animated anthropologist. How could anyone with so much excess energy be so calming? 

Blair stood at the stove, finally still - or at least as still as Blair _ever_ got, and Simon allowed his eyes to travel over the wonderful expanse of the solid form. From the soft curls that fell over surprisingly strong shoulders to the denim encased perfection of his pert buttocks, Blair was temptation on two feet. Simon could see why Jim, and half the female population of Cascade, found Blair irresistible. But Simon also knew that Blair was more than just a pretty face; he'd helped bring Jim back from the very brink. Simon doubted that Jim would have survived so long if Sandburg hadn't been there for him, and it was about more than just heightened senses. 

Jim had pulled away from everyone. Simon had been the only one that Jim would even come close to letting in, and then only briefly. Blair had managed to push past Jim's defenses in record time and Simon had to admit he'd been jealous, though whether of Blair or Jim he still wasn't sure. Now, Blair had set his sights on Simon. Actually, Blair and _Jim_ had set their sights on Simon, and Simon wasn't sure he _wanted_ to resist. The thought of being a part of the special bond that he'd come to associate with the two remarkable men was tempting, and he knew he wouldn't want it to be just a short term thing. The remaining question was, what did Jim and Blair want? 

Pushing aside his darkening thoughts, Simon turned his attention back to Blair. The young man was serving up a stir-fry chicken that smelled delicious and the squash was just coming out of the oven. A plan formed in the back of Simon's mind and he smiled. It was time to do some convincing. He walked over to stand behind Blair, resting his hands casually on the tense shoulders and leaning in close. He inhaled deeply, "Smells wonderful, Professor. I can't wait to see how it tastes," he said seductively, nuzzling Blair's hair briefly before moving back. He kept a hand on Blair's shoulder, massaging the muscles gently. 

Blair blushed, not sure how to take the larger man's comments. If it had been Jim, Blair would have sworn the older man was flirting, but this was _Simon._

"Need any help?" Simon asked casually, stepping back to let Blair move the hot pan off the burner. 

"No... I think I've got it," Blair murmured, trying to concentrate on not spilling the stir fry. 

Large arms reached up over Blair's head and retrieved a large serving bowl from the cabinet, "Try putting it in here Teach, I think it should fit." 

The feel of Simon's body pressed so close to his back robbed Blair of any coherent thought, let alone speech. He simply nodded, the back of his head rubbing against Simon's broad chest and eliciting a soft sigh from the other man. 

Encouraged by the reaction Blair leaned back a bit more, pressing his body closer to Simon's, "So. What do you think?" he asked seductively, finally back in familiar territory... flirting. 

Simon growled at the contact and placed his own hands around Blair's on the handle of the hot pan. His voice was husky as he struggled to answer, "I think you don't realize how hot that is." 

Blair smiled. If he wasn't sure of Simon's reaction before, he was now. It was hard to ignore the hot breath fanning against his hair, or the shallow rise and fall of Simon's chest. Simon was as affected by this as he was. And he was probably just as nervous. It was time to do some reassuring, "I think I do." 

He curled back into Simon's body, pressing as much of himself against the larger man as he could. Simon moaned softly and nuzzled Blair's hair. Blair sighed and directed their joined hands towards the bowl Simon had set on the counter. Both of their hands were shaking and Blair was afraid they would spill the hot food on the counter and themselves and Blair didn't want anything to ruin the moment. 

The stir fry safely in a bowl, Blair continued in his seduction of the handsome police Captain. He leaned back and smiled at the hardness of Simon's erection pressing into him. He wiggled a bit and delighted in the groan his actions drew from the large man. "I know how much I can handle Simon, and I think I can handle this." 

Simon's arms tightened around Blair, "I just don't want you to get burned Professor." 

The soft hesitation in the older man's voice startled Blair. He placed the pan he'd been holding on the counter and turned in Simon's embrace. He studied his friend, the closed eyes, the grim line of the full mouth... he was really concerned. Blair caressed Simon's cheek gently, "It won't happen Simon. You'd never let it." 

Simon's brown eyes opened and he stared down at the beautiful man in his arms. The absolute trust in those blue eyes stunned Simon and he leaned down to kiss the offered lips. He couldn't describe what that trust meant to him. He'd expected trust from Jim, their history together bred trust, but Blair? That young man didn't give such complete trust easily, Simon had seen that from the first. This was a gift he intended to treasure. 

Strong arms wrapped around Simon's shoulders and Blair's nimble fingers clutched at the fabric of Simon's shirt. Simon rained kisses over the upturned face and down the long neck. He could feel the younger man stretching, trying to bring more of their bodies together. One of Simon's fantasies pushed itself into the passion filled haze of Simon's thoughts. "God, Professor. You feel so good. Want more." 

"Huh?" Blair asked, not pausing in his own exploration of Simon's body. 

"I want you in my arms, Blair. Please." 

Blair finally pulled back and pinned Simon with a heavy lidded stare, "I'm all yours Simon." 

Simon's growl was unnaturally loud in the suddenly still loft. His large hands cupped Blair's denim clad ass and the anthropologist yelpped in surprise as he was lifted off the floor. Instinctively, Blair wrapped his legs around Simon's waist, anchoring himself to the larger man's body. Both men gasped as the move brought their groins into firm contact and Simon's hips pressed forward. 

One large hand left Blair's backside and burrowed into the mass of silky curls as Simon pulled Blair into a heated kiss. Blair matched him passion for passion. Simon's full lips teased and caressed Blair's face and neck as his hands stroked the compact body. The deep voice murmured between kisses... "God Professor... feels so good. _Dreamed_ about holding you like this... Wanted this... Wanted you, _both_ of you, so badly... This is _so_ much better... than _ANY_ fantasy." 

Blair smiled at the breathless confession. He wanted this too, but not like this. He wanted Simon, wanted him so badly he ACHED, but at this rate neither would enjoy it as much as they could. And Blair wanted to bring Simon as much pleasure as he could. He could feel the counter top beneath him as Simon eased him back on to the hard surface. Now was his chance. He cupped the dusky face between his hands, stilling Simon. "Simon," he whispered, his own voice husky with arousal. He ran his thumb over Simon's kiss swollen lips and groaned as Simon drew the digit into his mouth and began to suck on it rhythmically. His eyes closed as his body responded to the erotic sensations, "God, you're good at that." 

Simon simply smiled and continued his sensual assault. 

Blair reluctantly drew his hand away from the talented mouth. He took a deep breath, trying to maintain his resolve. "Dinner?" he queried breathlessly as Simon's hands stole up the inside of his shirt, teasing over the soft skin beneath. 

Simon nuzzled Blair's neck, nipping at the soft flesh before lapping at it delicately with his tongue. "I think I'll make do with this," he quipped, his teeth worrying at the sensitized skin. 

Blair grinned at the older man's playfulness. This was a side of Simon he'd never imagined and he liked it. He pushed against the solid wall of Simon's chest and was pleased when Simon pulled back at the light touch. "Dinner first, then necking." 

Simon studied the dishelved and flushed face before him, "Promise?" 

The full lips curled into a blinding smile, "Promise. Besides, this stuff is best hot." 

Simon nearly choked on his laughter at the comment, "I'd agree with that." 

Blair couldn't understand the older man's mirth. He replayed his comments and blushed as he realized how his last statement sounded, especially considering the position they were in. "I MEANT the stir fry," he exclaimed in exasperation. 

Brown eyes danced with amusement behind designer frames, "If you say so Professor. If you say so." 

Blair tried to glare at Simon but found he couldn't, not when the older man looked so... wanton. Simon stepped back and Blair slid from the counter into a warm hug. He snuggled into the comfortable embrace for a moment before moving away to finish the dinner preparations. 

Simon finished setting the table and sat down. Blair set the bowl of stir fry down on the table, but before he could take his own seat a large pair of hands caught him around the waist and pulled him down on to Simon's lap. He turned to look at Simon, "Are you sure?" 

Simon merely raised one expressive eyebrow. 

Blair held up his hands in mock surrender, "Ok. Ok. I was just checking man, just checking." Without further complaint he settled back against Simon's chest. 

The dinner passed quickly as the two men indulged each other, feeding each other the crisp-tender stir fry between quick, gentle kisses. Dishes were washed with amazing efficiency and as Simon stretched to replace the large bowl that had held the stir fry he felt surprisingly strong arms wrap around his waist. He smiled and brought his arms down to enfold the warm body. 

Blair sighed and curled closer, "So," he purred, "where were we?" 

Simon kissed the tempting lips and lifted the young man easily into his arms, "Right about _here_ I think." 

Blair's joyous laugh brought an answering smile to Simon's lips. The Captain resolved to make sure Blair laughed like that more often; the sound suited the younger man. He carried Blair to the couch, allowing the feel of Blair, awake and responsive in his arms, to replace the horror of cradling Blair's unconscious form in the hospital. He slowly lowered Blair to the couch, then knelt beside it so he could study the imp laid out before him. 

Blair stretched luxuriously and Simon greedily took in the play of light off the nimble form. He ran his hand over Blair's chest as the younger man arched upward. He could feel the play of Blair's muscles under his hand and he stroked them encouragingly. 

Blair relaxed back onto the cushions and ran his hand slowly up Simon's strong arm to cup the handsome face. Curling his fingers around the strong jaw he urged Simon closer, until the dusky face was inches from his own. Simon's hand stroked absently at the sable curls as he waited for Blair to make the next move. 

Blair kissed Simon softly then searched the brown eyes a moment before speaking, "So Simon?" he asked almost shyly, "how long have you thought about..." He blushed and couldn't finish the question. 

Simon chuckled and placed a chaste kiss on one flushed cheek, "About you and Jim?" he finished for the embarrassed young man. 

A shy grin flitted across the full lips, "yeah." 

Simon studied Blair's face with a grin, "Never thought you'd be the shy type Sandburg. Especially after that little seduction in the Jim's room at the hospital." 

Blair's blush deepened and he raised himself up on his elbow to look at Simon, "Normally I'm not... it's YOU. It has to be." 

Simon pinned Blair with a hot, needy stare that went straight to the younger man's groin, "Are you saying I make you nervous Professor?" 

"Yeah," Blair answered huskily, "I guess I am. Now stop changing the subject and tell me how long you've been fantasizing about Jim and me." 

It was Simon's turn to blush and he was grateful for his darker complexion, "For a while I guess. Ever since I watched you flirt, tease and talk your way out of one harrowing experience after another. Ever since I saw how easily you got close to Jim and how happy you made him. I was jealous you know. Jealous of what you two have. I wanted to be a part of it, and there were times when you made me feel like I was. I guess my mind took it one step further." 

Blair's eyes sparkled at the revelation, "You fantasized about _both_ of us?" 

Simon shrugged. "Why do things half-way?" 

"Tell me one of them." 

The request startled Simon, "Sure you can handle it Professor?" he asked, trying to redirect the intensely curious mind. He should have known better. He suddenly found himself with a lapful of focused anthropologist. Soft lips nuzzled his neck and Simon struggled to think as the blood in his body rushed south. Blair nipped at Simon's earlobe and the older man Simon groaned, lost. 

A low husky whisper drew Simon back from the edge, "Tell me Simon. Tell me what you wanted from Jim and me. You've gotta learn to trust me, right? Do you trust me enough to tell me your fantasies?" 

Simon's hands clenched at Blair's body, "Yeah. Yeah I trust you. God only knows why... but I do." 

Blair kissed Simon's neck and settled into the other man's arms. "Then tell me." 

Simon took a deep breath and closed his eyes, hoping it would be easier to confess if he couldn't see Blair's searching gaze. He wasn't even sure if he _could_ tell Blair but he knew he had to try. "My favorite one is also one of the simplest. I'm leaning back against Jim's chest. His arms are around me, cradling me close, as you grin up at me from the foot of the bed. You slowly push my legs apart and..." Simon's voice faltered as he tried to find the words to describe the way the Sandburg in his fantasies had acted. 

"And..." Blair prompted. 

Simon smiled as he realized Blair was as aroused by the fantasy as he was. He opened his eyes to look at Blair and was surprised to see the younger man's eyes were closed. As if aware of the scrutiny, the blue eyes opened and locked with Simon's. 

"And..." he prompted again. 

Simon kissed the full lips briefly before answering, "And then you show me that you can do more with that mouth than just obfuscate." 

Blair laughed. It was a full, rolling laugh that had him resting his head against Simon's broad chest as he fought for breath. "Touche man, touche." 

Simon stroked the shaking back, hugging the younger man close and joining in the delightful release. "You ok, Teach?" 

Blair wiped at his eyes and snuggled into Simon's embrace. "Yeah. I'm fine... just stunned. I didn't even think you noticed me, let alone thought of me like... _that_." 

"Oh I noticed, Professor. Believe me I noticed." 

"So, are you still curious?" Simon couldn't school his expression and Blair laughed at the stunned look on the captain's face. "Well?" 

"Yeah." 

Blair's expression sobered, "Then let's do something about it." 

"Just what are you suggesting Sandburg?" Blair smiled and Simon was suddenly very nervous. 

"Let's act out that little fantasy." 

"I think we're missing someone Professor. Unless you've got a certain buff detective hidden in the couch cushions that I'm not aware of." 

"You're closer than you think Simon. Do you trust me enough to try?" 

Simon shook his head, not sure just WHERE the inventive scientist was headed. "Blair, you know I trust you but I don't see how..." 

"Just trust me Simon. Please." 

One look into those pleading blue eyes and Simon knew why Jim followed this young man so willingly from one strange situation to another. He took a calming breath and put himself into the other man's hands. "I'm all yours Professor," he said, echoing Blair's earlier surrender. 

"Cool." Blair kissed the older man's lips then rose gracefully from Simon's lap. He held out his hand to Simon and helped him stand. His nimble fingers made short work of Simon's shirt and slacks, and soon Simon stood before the younger man in only his briefs. Blair stilled for a moment to admire the captain's bared form, the man was wall of dark, defined muscle that his usual suits did not do justice to. Blair ran a reverent hand over the smooth chest, tracing abstract patterns over the chocolate skin. 

Simon captured the roving hand and brought it to his lips, "There's one thing that would make this a great deal more like my fantasy Blair." 

Blair didn't look up from his intense study of Simon's chest and shoulders, "What's that Simon?" 

Simon lifted the handsome face, "You were ALWAYS naked." 

"oh... yeah." 

Simon captured the pursed lips with his own, "Yeah," he teased. Blair made no move to escape as Simon peeled away his clothing bit by bit, kissing and nipping at each new expanse of skin revealed. Soon both men stood, gazing at each other awkwardly as they surveyed the evidence of their arousal. Simon coughed and tried to regain the ease of earlier in the evening. "Now what Professor?" 

"I help make your fantasy come true," Blair answered in a matter of fact tone that left Simon both thrilled and wary. 

"And what do I have to do?" Simon asked nervously. 

"Just sit back, close your eyes and listen to the sound of my voice." 

Simon allowed Blair to direct him back to the couch and settled with his back resting in the juncture of the back and arm and his legs stretched out along the cushions. Blair moved to stand behind him, stroking and caressing Simon's shoulders and arms until the larger man relaxed. 

"Close your eyes Simon and let your mind drift." 

Simon did as Blair instructed. The strong hands never ceased their movement along the muscled expanse and Simon felt himself relaxing even further. 

"Imagine these are Jim's hands, stroking you, touching you. You're resting against his chest and can feel the heat of his skin where it presses against your back." 

Simon started to protest. He could tell the difference between the back of the couch and Jim. Jim was much firmer, and warmer. His mind pulled up the familiar sensations of being held in Jim's strong arms, of being pulled into the other man's embrace and being held until sleep finally came. Simon's protest died as he realized he COULD imagine Jim's arms around him... Simon heard Blair's soft chuckle. 

"Amazing isn't it? How your mind can supply things that your body can't really feel. It's called directed visualization and any time you want to stop, just say so." 

"No... keep going. I want this." 

"Good because so do I." Any chance to reply to the whispered remark was lost as Blair quickly continued his litany. "Jim's hands skim over your body, relearning the feel of you." Blair's hands copied his words, his fingers teasing at Simon's skin. Soft lips pressed against Simon's neck and Blair's long hair brushed against Simon's shoulder. Simon turned towards the kiss and sought out Blair's lips eagerly. 

The young man kissed him briefly then went back to his sensual monolog. "You hear me move to stand beside Jim and he places my hand against your chest." The warmth of deed followed the words. "I love the feel of your chest under my palm Simon and I trace your body with reverant hands following the path I saw Jim use earlier. He's smiling now, encouraging me to touch you, to learn what pleases you. Would he draw my hands to your nipples Simon?" 

Simon gasped as the clever fingers traced around the flat disk of his nipple. He arched into the touch, wanting more. A rough thumb brushed over the nerve laden tip and Simon moaned, his long fingers digging into the couch cushions. He'd NEVER been that sensitive before. 

"Like that huh?" Blair teased. The voice was huskier now, and coming from beside him instead of from behind. The warm weight of the young anthropologist settled against Simon's side and the voice sounded close to Simon's ear. "So... do you prefer a soft touch?" Fingers whispered over the tightening flesh. "Or a firmer one?" The same fingers pinched and rolled the erect nipple and Simon fought to catch his breath as the touch sent fire dancing through his blood. 

"Blair..." 

"Jim would know, wouldn't he Simon? He'd know exactly where to touch you," the hands skimmed down Simon's chest lightly. "And how to touch you," Simon gasped as Blair's lips closed briefly over his nipple. "And what it takes to make you hot," Blair's teeth closed gently over the sensitized flesh and Simon's hands caught at the silken curls, holding the talented mouth to his chest. 

"God Blair... that's so good." The mouth teased at the flesh, the hot tongue laving over the nipple until Simon was writhing beneath the younger man. 

"Where would he direct me next Simon?" 

The voice was back and Simon struggled to make sense of what it was saying. 

"What would be the next step in bringing you closer to the edge?" The hands skimmed over Simon's hips and down his long legs, "What was it you said about this? I climb up the bed," Simon felt Blair move to the end of the couch, "and slowly push your legs apart." Hands urged Simon's legs wider, until his right foot rested flat on the floor and his left leg was pressed securely against the back of the couch. Blair's firm body wriggled between the sprawled limbs trying to get comfortable in the confined space. 

Simon's body shook in anticipation as Blair's hair tickled at the inside of his thighs. The talented mouth began planting open mouthed kisses over the cotton covered expanse of Simon's hips and groin. The moist heat of Blair's breath through the cloth was exquisite torture and Simon began to move, seeking more direct contact. Blair's deep chuckle was loud in the stillness of the loft, "Soon," he whispered, "promise." The mouth moved to Simon's inner thigh and the nimble fingers stole up under the elastic of the burgundy briefs to caress the treasures within. Simon's hips thrust upward at the touch. 

Blair smiled as Simon strained up towards his hands. They both wanted this. Carefully Blair drew away from the panting man. Simon's eyes snapped open at the loss of contact and brown eyes turned to Blair in confusion. "May I?" Blair asked softly. 

Simon was touched by the request, "Please..." 

Blair hooked his fingers into the waistband of Simon's briefs and eased them down Simon's long legs. Simon stilled his lover before he resettled himself on the couch, "Would you take yours off as well? I want to feel all of you against me." Blair nodded and his own briefs joined Simon's on the floor before he settled himself back between Simon's open legs. 

Blair reached for Simon's glasses, intending to put them on the coffee table but Simon shook his head. "I want to see you clearly through all of this Professor." 

Blair nodded then returned his attention to Simon's beautiful, erect body. He ran questing fingers over the engorged flesh and grinned as it jumped at his touch. "You're beautiful. Do you know that? A masterpiece in dark marble, only better, because you're warm and responsive." Blair leaned forward and kissed Simon's inner thigh before tracing the crease where thigh joined body with his tongue. He could feel Simon's manhood where it brushed against his face and turned slightly to flick his tongue over it's head. Simon cried out sharply at the intimate caress. "Like that?" Blair teased, once more moving away from the evidence of Simon's arousal. 

"Blair..." Simon growled, "don't tease. I want to feel you..." 

Blair looked up at Simon through impossibly long lashes, "But Simon, I thought you liked the way I tease." Eyes still locked with Simon's, Blair leisurely swept his tongue up the length of Simon's shaft, circled the tip once then without warning deep throated the weeping member in one smooth stroke. 

Simon screamed. The large body arched like a bowstring, nearly bucking Blair to the floor, but the determined anthropologist held on. Blair's arms wrapped around Simon's hips and his hands clutched at Simon's hard buttocks, supporting the older man as Blair's mouth suckled and teased and aroused. Simon's breathing was harsh and gasping as he struggled against the erotic sensation. Blair could feel the tension in the other man and knew Simon was close. He stroked one muscular cheek as he drew back on the throbbing flesh in his mouth, almost releasing it before engulfing it once more. 

Simon's hands clutched his hair and Blair relaxed to let the other man set the pace of the encounter. He was surprised when the hands eased him away from his task. He looked up at Simon in silent confusion. 

"So close..." Simon whispered huskily. 

"That's the idea, man," Blair answered with a wicked smile. 

"No... want to," Simon struggled to calm his racing heart so he could explain what he wanted, "Want to hold you. Want to take you over _with_ me. Please." 

Blair was stunned. 

Simon took advantage of Blair's momentary stillness to pull the unresisting body up until Blair lay over him like a living blanket. He loved the feel of Blair's well furred chest against his own and shifted under the younger man to increase the brush of the curls over his heated skin. Blair moaned softly and pressed his body tightly against Simon's. Simon shifted and wiggled until he had them repositioned on the couch, his own long body stretched out beneath Blair's. He eased the younger man down a bit until he felt the brush of Blair's manhood against his own. He stilled the thrusting hips, "Easy Professor. Relax." 

Blair kissed the dusky chest under his lips, "All yours Simon...," he whispered huskily, "all yours." 

Simon smiled and ran a gentle hand through the sable curls. //Love you Professor,// he thought as he eased his other hand between their bodies and clasped Blair's heated shaft. He wrapped his long fingers around the sensitive flesh, bringing his own erection in tight contact with Blair's. The younger man whimpered and clutched at Simon's strong arms as his hips began to thrust, pushing him into the warm tunnel of Simon's hand. 

Simon ran his thumb over the weeping head of Blair's shaft and spread the fluid over the thick glans. The friction of Blair's body sliding over his, Blair's erection stroking and lubricating his own, the soft cries as Blair pushed closer and closer to release... the sensations pulled and caressed at Simon, urging him quickly toward the edge. He mentally clamped down on his arousal, not wanting to end things too soon. He wanted Blair. He wanted to show the young man what he'd done to Simon, how aroused and alert and cherished Blair had made him feel with his words. He wanted to feel Blair's body shiver against him in release... 

"Simon... Simon please...." 

The breathy plea drew Simon's eyes to Blair's flushed face. The expressive eyes were tightly closed, the full lips open, gasping harshly for breath as his body trembled against Simon's. Simon leaned forward and brushed kisses over Blair's face. "Let go for me baby," he crooned, his mind drawing on words that had once brought him the release he wanted for Blair, "just let go." 

Blair tensed, every muscle in the compact frame drawing tight as Simon minutely tightened his grip around Blair's shaft. 

"yeeessssssssss...." 

The high pitched cry went straight to Simon's groin and the larger man surged upward, thrusting against Blair's captured heat. The young man arched back sharply, driving his hips forward in fast erratic bursts. Simon braced himself and met the onslaught, pushing them both towards release. He felt his own imminent release coiling and building deep within his gut and began to pump his lover's erection with strong, sure strokes. He kept his eyes on Blair's handsome, passion flushed face and watched the dark curls bob wildly as Blair finally let go. His head thrown back, his hands clutching almost painfully at Simon's arms, Blair came in absolute silence. 

As the hot, milky fluid pulsed over his fingers, Simon gave a soft, strangled cry and joined the younger man in release. 

* * *

Awareness returned slowly. Simon murmured his protests as the warmth cradled against his chest tried to move away and he instinctively tightened his grip around Blair's narrow waist. Blair's full lips brushed against his throat and Simon could hear the younger man chuckling. "What?" he questioned groggily. 

"No need to crush me, man. I swear I'll come right back." 

Simon loosened, but didn't release, his hold on Blair. "You're not going anywhere, Professor. At least not just yet." He could feel Blair's smile against the column of his throat and his own lips curved in one to match it. 

Blair snuggled back down against Simon's broad chest with a contented sigh. "Ok, but you get to explain to Jim why we can't come see him tomorrow because we're glued together on the couch." 

Simon couldn't hold in the laugh and hugged the younger man tightly before letting him up. "Point taken, Professor." 

Blair wriggled off of Simon's chest and stood for a moment looking down at the sloe-eyed man sprawled over the cushions. He smiled wickedly and let his eye rake down the long form to rest on the dark beauty of Simon's genitals. "Not yet," he said with a decided gleam in his eye, "but it will be soon I hope." 

Simon puzzled over Blair's cryptic remark as he watched the other man make his way to the bathroom. It wasn't until Blair sauntered back to his side and began to gently clean away the evidence of their lovemaking that the full impact of the statement hit the older man. 

"Blair?" 

Too innocent blue eyes turned to look at Simon, "Yes?" 

"Did you just...." he couldn't find the words to ask. 

"Just what Simon? Just imply that I wanted you to fuck me? What if I did?" 

Simon startled at the phrase, but recovered quickly. He sat up and drew Blair close, "First of all, I'm not going to fuck you." He pushed the tangled curls back from Blair's face and kissed the pouting lips to silence the rapidly forming protest. "I'm going to make love to you," he whispered seductively, "and if Jim hasn't taught you the difference yet, _I_ will." His smile was positively feral as he felt Blair's breathing increase at his words. He leaned in again and captured the full lips briefly. "Secondly, we're not going to do either until Jim is here too. I want to see how HE makes love to you so I can return the favor you just did me. And third, I can't wait to show you just how gladly I'll take you up on that offer." 

Blair startled Simon by blushing. "Blair?" 

"Jim's never... um... we've not... Oh hell." 

If he hadn't been so stunned Simon would have found Blair's speechlessness endearing. As it was, he leaned back and studied the flushed face before him. "Are you telling me that you and Jim have never," 

"No," Blair interrupted quickly, "we've never had sex." 

"He's lost his mind." 

Blair grinned at the quiet exclamation, "No he hasn't. Did Jim tell you when all this started?" Simon nodded. "Then you know that I was still pretty weak from the whole 'brush with death' thing." Blair's tone was deliberately light but Simon didn't miss the tension in his body. He squeezed Blair reassuringly before settling the young man against his chest and leaning them both back down on the couch. With a sigh, Blair snuggled into Simon's embrace and relaxed against Simon's body before continuing. "Anyway, I was so weak and tired and scared we mostly spent the time just holding each other. Jim was feeling so guilty and I wasn't sure if he was doing _this_ out of guilt or because he really _WANTED_ to and so we talked. A lot. Then we started... fooling around." 

Simon could feel the heat of Blair's blush against his chest. Of all the people he'd thought would be shy discussing sex, Sandburg was NOT one of them. He brushed the curls back from Blair's handsome face and lifted the chin until he could meet the hesitant blue eyes. "Fooling around, Professor?" he teased. 

Blair's full lips pulled into a wry grin, "What? Ok, so I'm not real articulate, man. But it's a little weird you know. Here I am talking about how Jim and I started sleeping together while laying damn near boneless across your chest after a mind-blowing orgasm. It's just a little freaky." Blair wrapped his arms around Simon's broad chest and planted a soft kiss over Simon's heart. "Not that I'm complaining." 

"Glad to hear it." 

Blair reveled in the resonant rumble under his ear. He loved Simon's deep, rich laugh. He always had. Large hands caressed his back and Blair felt himself relaxing even further. He burrowed deeper into Simon's arms and tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a yawn. The arms tightened around him and he sighed, "I'm glad you're here Simon." 

"So am I, Blair. So am I." He placed a light kiss on top of the riot of sable curls before urging Blair up. "Come on, Professor. Much as the thought of moving doesn't appeal right now, the thought of spending the whole night on this couch sounds even worse." 

"Understood, man," Blair murmured then moved off of Simon. He offered the larger man his hand and Simon took it, not releasing the warm connection until they climbed into the large bed at the top of the stairs. 

* * *

Simon entered the loft to the sounds of Blair cursing. 

"DAMN IT!!! This SUCKS, this _really_ SUCKS!" 

Simon placed his keys into the small basket by the door and studied Blair intently. The grad student was running an agitated hand though curls that already looked like they'd been through a wind storm. Blair was ticked. Approaching cautiously Simon tried to see what could have upset the young man so much. "What's wrong, Professor?" 

Blair startled. He'd been so caught up in his ranting that he hadn't heard Simon come in. Damn. He turned to look at the concerned Captain, "Of all the times I've covered for _HIM_ the ONE time I ask him to return the favor he backs out!" 

Simon attempted to follow what Blair was saying, but he couldn't. Instead he waited to see what Blair would tell him. The young man paced, back and forth, back and forth across the loft, muttering under his breath as he worked through something over and over in his head. Finally, Simon couldn't stand it any more, "Who backed out of what, Blair?" 

"Paul!" 

The anger in Blair's voice shocked Simon, but he was no closer to finding out what Blair was upset about then when he walked in. He sat down and assumed his best "police captain" manner, "Who is Paul and what has he backed out of?" 

Blair stilled his pacing to pin Simon with an exasperated glare, "Paul is the GTA that had agreed to take my classes on Friday so I could go to the hospital and pick up Jim. BUT apparently his silicone stuffed, bleach blonde bimbette of a girlfriend suddenly changed her mind about some trip they'd decided not to take. Some big-wig social type has decided to go and anybody who's 'ANYBODY' is going to be there. _So_ it's 'sayonara, Sandburg,' 'hello social climbing.'" Blair began to pace again. "This really SUCKS man!" 

Simon tried to keep the smile off his face. "Blair," he said calmly. 

Blair ignored him and kept pacing. His voice was little more than a frustrated murmur and Simon couldn't help but wonder if Blair even knew he was there. "There is no way I can pick up Jim from the hospital and still make back to teach my last class. I'd cancel class but we're doing our main project eval..." 

Simon tried to catch Blair's attention again, "Blair." He might as well have not been there for all the attention Blair paid him. 

"and Paul was the only one who could cover that time slot! Damn it!" 

Simon reached out and snagged Blair around the waist on his next pass. "Professor," he said calmly, pulling Blair's unresisting form into his arms, " _I_ can pick up Jim from the hospital and stay with him. I've got a few personal days set aside," he put his finger on Blair's lips to still the protest he knew was coming, "and you know I don't mind." 

Blair sighed, the tension slowly ebbing from his body. "Did I ever tell you how much I appreciate you, Simon?" he asked. 

Simon smiled. "Not recently." 

Blair leaned in and kissed the larger man softly. "Then let me remedy that." 

Simon returned the kiss and nuzzled the offered neck. He grinned wickedly and whispered into the multi-pierced ear, "Does that mean you're going to cook dinner tonight?" 

Blair smacked Simon's broad shoulder playfully. "Oh man, you're worse than Jim." 

"Hey, can I help it if you cook better than I do?" 

Blair leaned back and smiled at the older man, "You're a fine cook, Simon and you know it. Have to admit though, that it's nice cooking for someone who's not reluctant to try stuff that's good for him." 

Simon's brown eyes sparkled with humor as he released Blair, "Hey, how else am I going to have the energy to keep up with you?" 

Blair was moving to the kitchen and looked back over his shoulder, smiling his sexiest smile, "There's something to be said for youthful enthusiasm." 

Simon's answering smile took Blair's breath away, "No arguments there, Professor. No arguments at all." 

Blair found himself moving inexorably to Simon's side, drawn by the heat in Simon's gentle eyes. Dinner was decidedly late. 

* * *

Simon turned off the water in the shower and reached out for the towel Blair had left for him. He smiled as he remembered how Blair had awakened him. His body still tingled from the feel of Blair's talented mouth and demanding touch. He dried himself quickly and pulled on his clothes so he could take Blair to the university before heading to the hospital. Today was the day. Jim was coming home. 

Simon still wasn't sure what to expect once the three of them were finally together. They had spent the two days after Jim and Blair's revelation talking, all three of them, and Simon was reassured by the ease of the other two men. But he knew that plans didn't always work out the way they were intended to. Settling his glasses on his face he began brushing his teeth and pushed the pessimistic thoughts from his mind. No matter what happened, he knew he would never regret what he and Blair had shared, and if he was lucky they'd be sharing even more. Cheered by the thought, and the visual of sharing the large bed upstairs with two hot and willing companions, Simon left the bathroom with a smile on his face. 

"How you doing, Professor?" Silence. "Blair?" 

"In a minute, man!" 

Simon wasn't worried about their schedule. They had plenty of time before Blair had to be out at the university and, since he had taken a personal day, he didn't have to be anywhere until it was time to get Jim. What worried him was the strain in Blair's voice. He headed towards Blair's old room and knocked on the closed door. "Sandburg. Are you all right in there?" 

"Fine," came the muted reply. "Oh damn. Ow... ow... ow." 

At the first pained exclaimation Simon was through the door. He stopped abruptly and tried his best not to chuckle at the scene before him. Blair stood beside his old futon bed, his dark hair a curtain around his down turned face. One hand was clutching at the small metal ring threaded through his left nipple while the other was raised to his mouth. 

"I'll be damned," Simon said softly, "you really do have one." 

Blair's head shot up and embarrassed blue eyes scanned Simon's face. Simon wondered what the young man was looking for; censure perhaps? He smiled his most reassuring smile and crossed the room to Blair's side. He pushed the still damp curls back from Blair's face. "I'd always wondered if the rumors were true," Simon said. 

Blair shrugged and blushed, but he relaxed. He removed his fingers from his mouth and grinned at Simon, "You always wondered?" 

"Yeah. You have a problem with that?" 

"No." 

"Good." Simon inspected the fingers Blair had just removed from his mouth. A small, dark blue bead was held between damp fingers. "You need help with that?" he asked softly. 

"Yeah. Usually it's not a problem, but between my sore ribs and hands that don't want to work right this morning... well, I can't get the ball in." 

Simon chuckled and took the bead from Blair's fingers. With surprisingly gentle hands he eased the ball into place completing the metal circle. His knuckles grazed the sensitive nipple as the ball snapped into place and Blair gasped, arching forward into the touch. Simon deliberately drug the back of his finger over the tightening bud once more, delighting in the soft moan his action elicited from the younger man. "Like that, Teach?" 

Blair nodded, his mind slowly turning to mush under Simon's teasing touch. 

"Good." 

Blair watched, fascinated, as the dark head lowered and Simon's dark pink tongue darted forward to lap at the pierced nipple. The touch was electric, the rasp against his flesh going straight to his groin. He arched forward, seeking to increase the contact between his sensitive nipple and Simon's talented mouth. The mouth in question closed around the hardening peak and Blair's knees nearly gave out. Simon's strong arm wrapped around Blair's waist, holding him, supporting him as the mouth teased and tormented the tiny nub nestled within Blair's chest curls. 

Blair clutched at Simon's short, dark hair, urging the older man into closer contact. Simon chuckled and used his tongue to tug at the silver ring gently, drawing a strangled whimper from his partner. Releasing the erect nipple Simon slowly worked his way down the hair-covered chest, leaving open mouthed kisses and gentle nips down the expanse of Blair's chest. He knelt before the panting anthropologist and with careful fingers undid the button on Blair's jeans. 

Blair moaned and struggled to remain upright as Simon eased the zipper down and slowly peeled the fabric from Blair's hips. Simon knelt before the swaying man and drew the jeans and underwear down strong legs until the fabric pooled at Blair's feet. Large hands cupped firm buttocks as Simon urged Blair closer, leaning in to breathe the heavy musk of Blair's arousal. Blair's hands griped Simon's broad shoulders as he struggled to remain still under the intimate inspection. Simon nuzzled at the erect member and ran a questing tongue up the delicate flesh. Blair's hips arched forward and his fingers dug into Simon's shoulders. 

Simon's tongue lapped at the now weeping head of Blair's shaft, twirling around the nerve-laden crest. Blair's manhood was beautiful, long and thick and dark with arousal. Simon stroked the base of the shaft in slow, smooth motions until Blair was writhing, the narrow hips pressing forward in time with Simon's touch. Simon's long fingers changed directions and his warm hand cradled the heavy sack between Blair's legs. His listened as Blair's breathing grew ragged, the soft whimpers changing to more demanding moans. Blair's shaft bobbed and jumped with each intimate caress as Simon teased at it with his tongue. Blair was nearly begging now, begging for a firmer, more satisfying touch and, without warning, Simon obliged. He engulfed the throbbing heat in one swift motion. 

Blair screamed Simon's name and came. 

* * *

Blair was convinced he'd died and gone to heaven. His boneless body was being eased back onto his old bed by the dark skinned god who had just stolen his soul. He was dimly aware of hands cleaning him and he obediently lifted his hips as those same hands redressed him. He managed to capture one hand and tugged at it, urging the smiling god to his side. The large man complied and Blair eagerly snuggled into the warmth of the broad chest. Slowly, his scattered brain cells began to gather. "Wow." 

Simon grinned and hugged Blair tightly to his chest. "So," he said conversationally, "where's the other one?" 

Blair's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Other what?" 

Simon reached down and swirled a teasing finger around Blair's unadorned nipple. 

Blair arched into the touch with a strangled moan, "Only have the one Simon." 

Simon pulled back and studied Blair. "That's unusual," he said. 

Blair blushed. "No, not really," he replied, "considering how I got it done." 

Simon laughed, "Oh I can't WAIT to hear this one." 

"No way, man! It's way too embarrassing!" 

"All the more reason to hear it, Sandburg." 

Blair could hear the curiosity behind the teasing words, "Ok, ok. But you have to promise not to tell Jim, he'd NEVER let me hear the end of it." 

Simon felt the words hit; Blair was going to share with _him,_ something he hadn't even shared with Jim. The unspoken message of acceptance and trust warmed him to his very core. He kissed Blair's lips in thanks. 

Blair could feel the change in Simon and wondered at it. He wrapped his arms around the larger man and hugged him, delighting in the unexpected closeness between them. When his lips were finally released Blair studied Simon's closed expression. He caressed the strong jaw. "Simon?" 

"I'm ok, Professor. Really. I just... Well... thank you for trusting me enough to tell me." 

Finally Blair understood. He kissed the taller man again, his hands rubbing soothing circles over the suddenly tense back. "Simon," he soothed, "I've always trusted you and I always will. You still don't get it do you? This is about more than just sex for me, and for Jim too. Besides, I know if I tell _you_ this story I won't get the 'what were you thinking Chief?' lecture." 

Simon's chuckle shook his broad frame. "And you think I won't because?" 

"Because you have a teenaged son and can identify with the stupid things kids do." 

"Now I _KNOW_ I have to hear this one." 

It was Blair's turn to laugh, "Ok, ok, but I'm gonna need breakfast first, man." 

"Deal. I'll cook, you talk." Simon rose from his position on the bed and headed towards the bedroom door. He paused at the doorway and turned to find Blair still sprawled bonelessly on the bed where he'd placed him. "Come on, Sandburg. I'm not bringing it to you." 

"But I just got comfortable." 

Simon smothered his grin at the petulant tone in Blair's voice, "Move it or lose it, Professor. Trust me, you do _not_ want to make me come over there." 

Blue eyes dancing with mischief peered up at Simon. "Why not?" the younger man purred. 

Simon carefully schooled his expression, "Because like you said, I have a teenaged son. That means I know every trick in the book to get some lazy-boned, slug-a-bed up when he needs to get to class. And the glass of cold water to the mid-section is the _kindest_ one." 

Blair raised his hands in mock surrender. "Point taken man. I'm moving." 

Simon watched appreciatively as Blair gracefully extricated himself from the bed. The half-clothed body pressed close as Blair finally reached the door. Blair's hands traced intimate patterns over the soft silk of Simon's shirt and Simon sighed. He caught the hands before they got them _both_ in trouble, "No distraction techniques, Teach. I want that story." 

"Damn." 

Simon shook his head and planted a soft kiss on Blair's sable curls, "Save it for tonight. You're gonna need all the energy you can get. Trust me on this one." With that prophetic statement, Simon left a stunned and trembling Blair standing in the doorway and headed for the kitchen to start breakfast. 

* * *

"Ok, Blair, out with it." 

Blair studied the plate of pancakes and eggs that Simon had set before him and knew he couldn't put it off any longer. He speared a bite of the golden brown pancake and chewed thoughtfully. 

"Professor..." 

Blair blushed, "Alright, already. But you have to promise not to laugh." 

"I promise. I'm still not sure why you're so nervous about this." 

Blair laughed and took a long swallow of his juice, "It's just that it wasn't one of my more stellar moments, you know?" 

"I will once you finally tell me," Simon muttered. 

Blair grinned and averted his eyes a moment, "Sorry." He took a deep, steadying breath and launched into his tale, "You know I started out at Rainier while I was really young. So, here I am, this bespecticaled little brainy geek who just could NOT fit in. It wasn't until my second semester that I finally found a peer group, sort of. We were all misfits of some sort, too brainy, too serious, too non-conformist. I was the youngest and was tutoring one of the girls and she introduced me to the rest of the group. I became like the group mascot, but they never treated me like I was any different than the rest of them. 

"Well, Patsy, the girl I was tutoring, was really into the whole piercing thing. This was way before it was popular like it is now. She'd seen some pictures of the ritual piercings and scaring in one of the Anthro classes and she knew some people who had had some piercings done. So, one night she started talking about getting pierced, not her ears... no, that would have been too 'average' and Patsy liked to push the envelope. One of her friends had gotten her nipples pierced and Patsy thought it was totally cool. 

"A couple of the other kids in the group decided to get pierced too and so we kind of made a night of it. Richard tried to talk me out of it, but I decided to do it. I think it was a rite of passage for me, I felt like I needed to _DO_ something." 

Simon remembered something Blair had said once. "A form of bonding," he ventured cautiously. 

Blair's smile was blinding, "Exactly, man! Anyway, the first one went fine. It hurt, but not any worse than getting my ears done. Well, apparently we didn't get the needle clean enough before we did the right one and it got infected. I tried treating it like I did my ear pierces, but it didn't work. And in typical teenager fashion I refused to tell anybody." 

"Why?" 

"I don't know. I guess I'd just gotten use to taking care of myself so it never occurred to me that I _could_ go to someone else. Anyway, Richard came in one night while I was trying to treat it and DRAGGED me out to see his mom. She couldn't believe I'd let it go so long. It was pretty bad. She had to take it out..." Blair cringed at the painful memory. "Let's just say it wasn't pretty. Once it healed Patsy asked if I wanted to get it done again and I had _no_ trouble saying 'no'. Besides, by then I'd kinda gotten use to the feel of just one," Blair blushed, "it's a nice study in contrasts." 

Simon smiled remembering Blair's reaction earlier. Blair's blush deepened. 

"Why the sudden interest?" Blair asked, breaking the suddenly charged silence. 

Simon shrugged, "No real reason. It's just, you haven't been wearing it up 'til now and..." 

"And you were wondering why?" Blair finished. 

"Something like that." 

"Jim's coming home today," Blair said in a tone that suggested _that_ should answer all Simon's questions. 

"And?" 

Blair blushed again, "Well... It's just..." He took a deep breath and tried again, "Jim likes it. He said he had a partner who was pierced and..." Blair's voice trailed off as he watched Simon's mouth curl into a knowing smile. 

"That would _have_ to have been Shaneese. I don't think anybody else he ever dated would have been that adventurous." 

"Shaneese?" Blair squeaked. 

"Don't worry Sandburg, it was a long time ago." Simon wondered if he should wait and let Jim tell Blair about the pretty little waitress, but one look at Blair's expectant expression and he knew the academic's curiosity wouldn't let it go that long. He stood and started clearing away the breakfast dishes and wasn't surprised when Blair followed him into the kitchen. 

"So don't keep me hanging here, man. Tell." 

Simon tried to keep from smiling and failed. "Ok, but I'll have to tell you on the way. We need to get going." 

Blair nodded in agreement and headed back to his room to collect his bookbag and notes. Several minutes later, ensconced in the front seat of Simon's car, Blair broached the subject again, "So,what's the story about Shaneese?" 

Simon chuckled at Blair's directness. "Are you sure you don't want to wait and ask Jim tonight?" he teased. 

"No way, you are not going to tease me with information on the private life of the elusive James Ellison and then not deliver. Spill it Simon." 

"Ok. Shaneese was a waitress at one of the clubs Jim visited in the course of an investigation. He'd gotten no help from the manager but Shaneese and one of the bartenders were able to give him some names of people to talk to. Apparently Shaneese took a liking," Simon looked over at Blair meaningfully, "a _REAL_ liking to Jim and two days later called the station to ask him out." 

"Way to go Shaneese!" 

"Yeah, well, Jim wasn't too sure about it. His divorce from Carolyn had only been finalized a few months earlier and he didn't know if he was ready to try dating. But Shaneese was persistent. Nothing too weird; she just kept at it, asking him out to dinner, to the movies, whatever. Finally he relented and agreed to go to dinner with her. I don't know what happened at that dinner, but Jim came in the next day grinning like an idiot and that afternoon Shaneese sent him three roses and two tickets to the next Jags game." 

"Wow! That must have been some dinner." 

"Yeah," Simon replied. "But in all fairness to Jim, he never stood a chance. I got to meet Shaneese about two weeks after that. She was a pretty, leggy African-American beauty with big eyes and a killer smile. And she was a force to be reckoned with, I can tell you. She was a bit of a wildchild, but I think that's what Jim needed. She dragged him out to all sorts of things, things he wouldn't normally do, sort of like you do." 

The comment stunned Blair. "oh." 

"Anyway, they were good for each other. Shaneese helped Jim relax and loosen up a bit," Simon said 

"You mean _this_ is relaxed?!?" 

"Frightening isn't it?" Simon quipped with a teasing smile. "Truthfully, they helped each other. She helped Jim get in touch with the safer part of his wild side and he helped show her that she didn't have to let someone slap her unless she _wanted_ to be slapped." 

Blair perked up at Simon's choice of phrase. Surely he'd misheard. "Excuse me?" 

Simon's eyes never left the road, "Direct quote Sandburg and I tried not to think too hard about it." 

Blair's active brain processed the information and produced a picture of Jim dressed head to toe in tight black leather, feral smile on his beautiful lips and a short whip of braided leather resting all too naturally in one large hand. His jeans were suddenly far too tight and he shifted with a barely stifled groan. He blushed as he realized Simon had caught him at it. 

" _That's_ why I tried not to think about it, Professor." 

"I hear you. Oh _MAN_ do I hear you." 

Simon's laughter echoed in the confines of the car as he eased the vehicle into a parking spot. "Well, here we are. What time will you be done tonight?" 

Blair thought for a moment, running his schedule quickly through his head. "I should be done and back to the office by about four." 

"Great, that'll give me time to get Jim settled in and dinner started and then I'll come here." 

Blair undid his seatbelt and turned to look at the handsome man beside him, "I really appreciate this Simon." 

Simon patted Blair's denim clad thigh, "Hey, that's what being part of a... a relationship is." 

Blair's smile was dazzling. That was the first time Simon had given any indication that he viewed their 'arrangement' as anything more than just friendship. "Exactly, man. Exactly!" 

Simon smiled and reached over the seat to retrieve Blair's backpack and handed the heavy bag to Blair, "Don't strain yourself with this thing, Professor. "We're gonna want you in perfect working order tonight." 

The purr of promise in Simon's rich voice went straight to Blair's groin and he swallowed hard, trying to calm his erratic breathing. He cast a quick glance around then leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Simon's smiling lips. "I'm counting on it Simon," he whispered as he drew back and opened the door, fleeing with the image of Simon's glazed eyes and stunned smile to help get him through what he was sure would a _very_ long day. 

* * *

Simon watched as Blair was greeted by several students on his way to the Anthropology building. One young woman in particular seemed to linger by the young man's side. Simon was startled by the twinge of jealousy that he felt as the blonde placed a hand on Blair's shoulder and moved in closer to Blair's side. The feeling quickly passed as Simon realized who she was and where they were when she'd made the move. It was Jenny, one of Blair's student assistants, and they were right beside the fountain. Simon was suddenly grateful for her distraction. For all Blair's reassurances that he was "fine" now, Simon knew the fountain still held demons for the younger man. 

Reassured that Blair was in good hands, Simon eased the car out of the parking lot and headed toward the hospital to pick up Jim. 

* * *

"Simon, I'm fine. They only kept me as long as they did because of my reaction to the meds they gave me. I'm NOT an invalid." 

Simon urged his pouting charge in the door and set down the bags he'd carried in, "I know you're not an invalid, Jim. I just don't want you to overdo. Blair would never forgive me if I let you hurt yourself your first day home." 

"I know what I can handle Simon," Jim said sulkily. 

Simon groaned at the look on detective's face, //Someone's been taking pouting lessons from Sandburg// Out loud he said, "I know you do, Tiger." Moving close he wrapped his arms around Jim's trim waist and locked eyes with the younger man, "Can't I spoil you at least a little while I've got you to myself?" 

Jim had the decency to blush. He leaned in and kissed Simon gently. "Of course you can, Simon. Sorry I'm such a bear." 

Simon grinned, "It's ok. I'm used to it." 

Jim chuckled and leaned in to claim another kiss. He moaned and deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing at Simon's lips until they opened. Jim savored the feel and taste of his lover, his body responding to Simon's closeness, swaying slightly in the strong arms. It had been so long. 

Jim finally released Simon's mouth and unconsciously cataloged away the subtle flavors left behind as "Simon." Something niggled at the back of Jim's mind, his Sentinel senses trying to place an oddly familiar 'something' in Simon's kiss but he pushed the sensation away, afraid of losing precious moments of his time alone with Simon to a zoneout. He'd worry about it later. Now he had more important things to concentrate on; actually a more important _person_. 

He tightened his grip on Simon's shoulders, drawing the tempting neck within reach. Simon followed willingly, offering the sensative flesh and moaning loudly as teeth gently nipped at a particularly tender spot. Jim grinned at the sound. "This help make up for it, Big Man?" he growled. 

Simon squeezed Jim roughly, "It's a start." 

Jim didn't even try to stop the laugh that bubbled up within him at Simon's gruff retort. "Shall I try again?" he asked innocently, his body pressing tighter against Simon's. Simon's brown eyes closed briefly and Jim felt himself gently but firmly moved back from Simon's body. He grinned at Simon as the brown eyes tried, and failed, to look stern. 

Simon pointed to the couch. "Sit." 

Jim's grin grew at the slightly breathless tone, "Yes sir." He watched as Simon bent to pick up the abandoned bags, "Sure you don't want hel..." Simon's glare stopped Jim from even finishing the sentence. "Ok. Ok. I'll just go sit down over there. Alright?" 

Simon smiled and nodded, his eyes never leaving Jim's as the younger man moved to the couch and settled on the cushions. "Good," Simon muttered, "you _do_ remember how to follow orders. I'm going to take this stuff upstairs and then we'll see about lunch." Without another glance at Jim, Simon shouldered the duffle bags and carried them upstairs to the bedroom. 

Jim leaned back into the couch cushions, inhaling the familiar air of home. He was sure Blair would have some long, scientific label like "The Modern Sentinel and Refamiliarization of Personal Territory After a Forced Absence" but to Jim it was simply "coming home". He glanced around the room, relieved to find it so clean and in order, with just enough clutter to feel "lived in". That was Blair's touch. A little chaos amidst the cold, sterile order that had been Jim Ellison's life. A little chaos to help remind him he was alive. He'd come to love that little reminder that he wasn't alone, not that he'd ever tell Blair. SOME order had to be maintained. 

Jim could hear Simon upstairs, putting away the things from the hospital and setting the upstairs rooms to rights. Jim smiled at the normalcy of it, and how right it felt to have Simon here. "You doing ok up there?" he called out. 

"Yeah. Be down in a few. Think about what you'd like for lunch. I think we're all stocked with groceries, but leave the chicken alone, that's for tonight." 

Jim chuckled, he knew better than to mess with Simon's dinner preperations, he'd made that mistake once and didn't plan on repeating it. He rose gingerly off the couch, his body still a bit stiff from injuries and forced inactivity, and headed for the kitchen. He shook his head as he spotted several of Blair's books sitting on the kitchen island. //They must have been rushed this morning,// he thought, //either that or Blair had changed his mind about taking these at the last minute.// He lifted the books and moved towards Blair's old room which the grad student now used as an office. He picked up some more papers off one of the end tables as he passed, //Refamiliarization and _Reclaimation_ of Personal Territory// Jim ammended with amusement. He'd have to remember to pass that one on to Blair, the young accademic would appreciate it. 

Balancing the papers precariously in one hand, Jim opened the French doors and stepped into the small room. He placed the books and papers on the desk and was suddenly reluctant to leave. He ran his hands over some of the small momentos on the cluttered desk, smiling as he recalled Blair telling him the stories of this little fetish or that picture. He inhaled, forcing the hospital smells from his body and replacing them with the smells of home, of Blair. The faint smell of Blair's "unscented to anyone without a Sentinel sensative nose" deoderant, the herbal shampoo that Blair favored, the light cologne that he wore exclusively for Jim, the one the Sentinel had given him on their two month anniversary because it blended so wonderfully with Blair's own natural scent, and under it all, the faintest trace of release. 

Jim's brow furrowed at the unexpected smell then focused in on the elusive smell of phermones and semen and sex. He could feel his own body responding to the evidence of his partner's passion but forced it away. There was another smell here, something familiar but not. Something that teased at his mind just out of reach. Jim crossed slowly to the futon, left open so Blair could just fall into it on those nights when he studied too long. The sheets were wrinkled, as if someone had been sprawled over them, but not to sleep. Jim closed his eyes, his head tilting as he scented at the air, his mind cataloging the smells and trying to match them to known stimuli. 

"Hey, Jim, what did you decide on for lunch?" 

Jim turned, his mind matching the unknown scent to the large, warm form standing in the doorway. His eyes roamed the tempting figure taking in everything. He knew this one, but not to this degree. He inhaled again, cataloging the scent and adding it to the taste he'd already discovered. "Simon..." 

Simon took an involuntary step backward as Jim's eyes raked over his body. Something was going on here, and he wasn't sure what. "Jim?" he asked, edging out of the room as the younger man began to slowly stalk towards him. There was something primal in the way the other man moved, and Simon wasn't sure he liked it. Where was Sandburg when he needed him? "Jim? Talk to me. What's going on?" 

Jim smiled, "Want you," he said simply, his blue eyes never wavering off his intended prey. He continued his advance, slowly, patiently he stalked forward, letting the panther in his soul rule his movments. He flowed across the hardwood floors without a sound, his senses focused on the man before him. Gone was the rational, civilized man, in his place was the Hunter, primal and focused. Focused completely on dark man before him. 

He could smell the arousal and fear warring in his prey. It was a heady sensation. He maneuvered the larger man back, herding him towards the wall and his unsuspected entrapment. The deep voice of his prey washed over him, asking for explanations for acknowledgement but Jim was beyond words. All he needed to say had been said, for now. Now was the time for action, for reclaiming the dark body that once had been his; that would be his again. His grin was feral as he watched the prey realize, too late, that he had been backed into a corner and had no where left to retreat to. The hunter pounced! 

"Mine," he growled against the rich brown column of Simon's neck. He nipped the offered flesh sharply delighting in the gasp his actions produced. With quiet efficiency Jim unbuttoned Simon's shirt and eased the fabric off the broad shoulders then focused on the man in his arms, so familiar yet so new. He had never experienced the older man with his full senses and like Blair, Simon was a feast for them all. The sight of his pale hands as they contrasted sharply with Simon's bare flesh, the sound of Simon's deep rumble as Jim lowered his head to suckle at the darker nipples, the feel of Simon's smooth skin under his hands. Jim straightened and captured the full lips, plundering Simon's mouth with single-minded determination. Simon tasted of gourmet coffee and fine cigars. Jim remembered this taste but it had never been so intense before. The spice he knew only as Simon was there as well... and something more. The something he had noticed before, but Jim's passion glazed senses still couldn't quite place the familiar hint of flavor. He dismissed the faint taste and concentrated on the effect of the kiss on both of them. 

Breathless and aching with need he broke the kiss and buried his face in Simon's neck. His mate smelled of rich, earthy tobacco, soap and... BLAIR. The taste suddenly registered in Jim's brain, Blair. He himself had tasted that particular nectar, accompanied by the sound of Blair's breathless release. The wave of possessiveness washed over him again. Simon was _his_ mate. HIS scent should be on Simon as well as Blair's. The sudden need to "claim", to mark Simon as his own once more, filled Jim's senses, nearly overpowering all else. His body held Simon firmly against the wall, pinning the larger man so he could barely move. He looked into deep brown eyes and was stunned to see the first glimmers of fear. 

"Jim?" 

Jim loosened his grip, allowing Simon to move, giving him the chance to run. Simon took a deep breath and reached out to caress Jim's face. Jim leaned into the touch, stroking the broad palm with his cheek in an oddly cat-like gesture. The fear slowly retreated and Simon drew Jim in for another searing kiss, offering himself to his mate. 

With a almost pained whimper, Jim gave in to his desire. "Want you," he cried brokenly into the offered colum of Simon neck, biting the tender flesh, "love you." 

Strong arms wrapped around him, anchoring him to the dark body, "I know, Tiger. I know." Simon claimed the questing lips once more, surrendering to Jim in a way he hoped the other man would understand. Jim immediately took control of the kiss, plundering and claiming Simon's mouth with single minded determination and Simon was lost. 

Hands roamed over Simon's chest, tracing every curve and plane bared to Jim. Short nails lightly scored his flesh and Simon arched into the touch. "Jim, please..." he begged, not even sure what he was begging for. But Jim knew. Strong fingers pinched his peaked nipples, rolling and teasing them until Simon moaned. A deep chuckled sounded near his ear and Simon turned to try and capture the tempting lips. The lips were pulled just out of reach. 

"Mine," Jim growled again, pinching the nipples sharply. 

"GOD!" 

Again the damned chuckle, "I remember, Simon." The lips returned and drew Simon's earlobe into the warm heat of Jim's mouth, suckling gently. Simon tilted his head, offering his neck to Jim's assualt. "Remember what you like," the voice said again, husky and strained as if each syllable was a struggle. Teeth closed over flesh, biting at the dark skin as hands pinned Simon's arms to the wall. Simon whimpered. "Mine," the voice repeated as Jim's strong body leaned into Simon's, "Mine!" 

The Hunter could feel the Prey's heat through the cloth between them, but he wanted more, needed more. Knowing that the prey would no longer fight him, the hunter released the heavily corded arms and quickly shrugged out of his own clothing. He heard the prey's heartbeat spike as pants and underwear fell to the floor. The hunter turned, deliberately taunting the prey with his back, knowing he was safe. The prey was fully under his thrall. Pheromones, thick and enticing, filled the air, urging him on. The prey was his... SIMON was his! Turning back to the still man, the hunter advanced. Fear no longer lurked in the earthen depths of the prey's eyes, only lust, arousal and trust. The hunter smiled his victory. 

He sank to his knees before the other man, hands making short work of the fastenings of Simon's slacks. He peeled the grey fabric back, then teased at the prominent bulge a moment. Simon pressed into the too light touch, craving more. Jim rewarded him for his patience, rubbing harder over the cotton entraped flesh, before catching the elastic waistband with his fingers and carefully pulling underwear and pants down in one smooth motion. He let the cloth pool at Simon's feet, effectively hobbling his mate. Without warning he engulfed Simon's straining erection, swallowing the length to the root in one smooth motion. 

Simon's hips jerked forward, only to be pinned back to the wall by strong arms. Simon grasped at Jim's shoulders, seeking Jim's strength as his own was devoured by the ravenous beast within him. His body shook uncontrollably and his breath was coming in short, ragged gasps as Jim sucked and teased at him mercilessly. A hand crept up his chest, pausing to tug at over sensative nipples before moving on to Simon's lips. The finger traced the full lower lip a moment before insinuating itself between lax lips. Simon suckled greedily at the offered digit, mimicing Jim's movments with deft sweeps of his tongue. Jim moaned, the sound reverberating through Simon's all ready taxed nerves. He cried out and dug his fingers into the tense muscles of Jim's shoulders. 

The finger was removed, wet with his own saliva, and drawn down over his heaving chest. Simon didn't notice. He was close, SO... DAMNED... CLOSE!!! The thought disolved in a breathless scream as the damp finger was thrust deep into his body, the rough pad finding and thrusting against his prostate, sending him thrashing over the edge in explosive release. 

He was dimmly aware of the finger being gently withdrawn and being eased to the floor. Jim's lips closed over his own, and he could taste himself in the other's demanding kiss. He could feel Jim's hips thrusting against him, Jim's erection brushing against his own cooling skin. 

Jim's passion roughened voice purred in his ear, "Mine. MINE," as Jim worked himself to his release. 

"yours," Simon finally managed to whisper, catching the younger man by the neck and drawing him in for another deep, passion filled kiss. 

With a whimper, Jim came, his seed spilling over Simon's bare chest and groin. His hands gently rubbed the thick fluid into Simon's skin, "Mine. My scent. Marked now. mine." 

Simon wasn't sure what it all meant, but he knew it was important, almost ritualistic. He captured the strong fingers, drawing them from the idle figures they were tracing and brought them to his own lips. "Yours," he said softly, locking eyes with his lover he drew the fingers into his mouth and cleaned them with gentle, loving sweeps of his tongue. 

Continued in part three.


	3. Of Sleep and Dreams part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> see part one for summary and notes

Twenty-five minutes and one eventful shower later, Simon found himself lounging on the futon mat, pulled from Blair's old room and placed conveniently before the fireplace, watching as his naked lover attempted to start a fire without burning himself. Finally the starter branches caught and Jim closed the screen. Simon edged over, leaving room for Jim's large form beside him. With a soft grunt, Jim flopped down on the cushion. Simon smiled; for all of Jim's seriousness he was still such a kid at heart. He drew Jim closer, settling the shower damp hair onto his own shoulder with a sigh. Jim's arm draped over his waist, toying with the towl wrapped around Simon's narrow hips. 

"What's on your mind, Jim?" Simon asked softly, his hands stilling the nervous fingers. 

"How long have you been in love with Blair?" 

The straightforwardness startled Simon, especially coming from Jim. But then, this had been an afternoon for surprises concerning Jim. After the spectacular claiming in the hallway, Jim had been all solicitude and concern, checking Simon over for injuries as they showered away the evidence of their lovemaking. Now this. Simon thought about avoiding the question then decided against it. "Probably about as long as you have." 

Jim chuckled, "That long huh?" 

Simon smoothed a hand across Jim's shoulders. "Is it important?" 

"Not really. I was just curious I guess." 

Simon knew Jim wasn't being completely honest, but decided not to press. Instead he offered a question of his own, "Why a triad Jim, especially now?" 

"Complaining?" 

Simon tugged at a damp lock of hair. "Brat. You know I'm not complaining. I'm just curious, like you said." 

Jim thought for a long moment before finally answering, "It just seemed... right. I love Blair. I love you. Blair loves us both. It seemed like the next logical step." Jim raised up just enough to look into Simon's eyes, "Does that make any sense?" 

Simon kissed the furrowed brow and urged Jim back down onto his chest, "Yes actually, it does." //Crazy as it sounds// Simon added to himself. It _did_ seem right. He smiled as Jim's fingers once more strayed to the towel around his waist. The cop's nimble fingers slowly pulled at the light knot, urging the fabric apart with silent effeciency. Simon didn't say a word, letting the younger cop explore at his own pace. The cloth was soon parted completely, exposing the older man's bare flesh to the cool air of the loft. Simon shivered. 

"Cold?" Jim asked softly. 

Simon shook his head and drew Jim up for a kiss. The younger man settled over him like a living blanket, pressing their bare skin together and warming Simon completely. It had been like this before between them, gentle, comfortable, tender. But something had changed; it was more intense now, more dangerous... and infinitely more satisfying. There was a connection there that flared every time Jim touched him and Simon wondered if this was what it was like between Jim and Blair. 

Jim noticed Simon's hesitation and drew back slightly. "May I?" he asked. 

Simon looked deep into Jim's pale blue eyes. The passion and uncertainty were so very familiar, but the heat, the love in those eyes was new. //*I love you. Blair loves us both. It seemed like the next logical step.*// Jim's words warmed him more than Jim's body. He wasn't sure where this would lead, but for now it was enough. "Yes." 

* * *

"This is Blair Sandburg, I'm out of the office right now or on another line. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message after the tone and I'll get back to you as quickly as possible. Thanks." 

_BEEP_

"Hey, Professor. Just wanted to let you know we're settled in. Jim stop that! If there's any change in your schedule just give us a hollar at the loft..." 

"... or a moan, or a scream..." _smack_ "HEY! What was that for?" 

"You know good and well what that was for, James Joseph. Behave! Anyway. We should be in for the duration." 

"That an offer, Big Man?" 

"JAMES! Blair, how do you manage to keep this guy in line?" _sigh_ "mmmm... Jim... Would you at least let me finish this first?" 

"Am I stopping you?" _kiss_ "Besides, this doesn't seem to mind much." 

_whimper_ "Jim..." 

"Um hum?" 

"Stop... just for..." _gasp_ "...a minute." 

"spoil sport." 

"Insatiable." _kiss_ "later. Promise. ANYWAY... Blair, unless I hear different I'll plan on picking you up outside the Anthropology building a little after 4:00. I figure that'll give you time to get everything wrapped up in your office." 

"So you can get that cute butt of yours home and start _un_ wrapping things here." _smack_ "WHAT?!?! You're thinking the same thing so don't EVEN give me that look Simon Edward Banks. Love you, Chief. See you soon." 

"What _he_ said, Professor. See you at 4:00." _long pause_ "love you. Bye." 

_click_

* * *

Blair sat staring at the screen of his laptop blindly, his mind caught somewhere between the eval he was suppose to be doing in less than an hour and the imaginings of what was waiting for him when he got home AFTER that eval. Once more he resisted the urge to call the loft and check on Jim and Simon. He knew they were back at the loft, Simon had called once he'd gotten Jim settled. He'd been in class and the voice mail message they had left for him had destroyed what little concentration he had left. Not that he minded. He had to admit, it was nice to feel wanted. 

"Hey? Earth to Blair. Come in, oh favorite GTA of mine." 

The voice startled Blair out of his musings. He'd been so wrapped in his thoughts that he'd missed the sound of Jenny's entrance, and he _knew_ she didn't enter without knocking first. No one did since the whole Alex incident. "Hey Jenny," he answered, summoning a smile for the perky student assistant. 

The blonde took her favorite seat, moving some of Blair's books out of the oversized chair beside Blair's desk, and pinned Blair with her searching green eyes. "So," she said casually, "where's your _usual_ hunky escort today?" 

Blair shook his head, trying to follow the question. "Huh?" 

The young woman graced him with an indulgent smile, "You know, the guy who's been dropping you off for the last few days. Tall, slender, beautiful eyes, always smiling and drop dead sexy," she added with a decided twinkle in her eyes. 

Blair finally realized who she meant, "Oh, you mean Rafe?" 

Jenny placed one delicate hand to her chest, assuming her most dramatic 'love-lorn Southern Belle' look, "Finally! A name!" 

"Jenny!" Blair scolded good naturedly, "If you wanted to know his name, all you had to do was ask." 

"But that's not _nearly_ as much fun." Blair rolled his eyes. "So," she prompted when Blair fell silent again, "where is he today? Don't tell me you ran him off. _Please_ don't tell me you ran him off." 

Blair chuckled at her eager expression and made a note to introduce his two friends the next chance he got. "He has the day off. I'm not a TOTAL slave driver." 

"Yeah, right. You forget I've HAD one of your classes buddy-boy. I _know_ you're a slave driver." 

"But you learned _and_ enjoyed it didn't you?" he teased, starting up their good-natured, ongoing argument. 

"I'm majoring in Anthropology aren't I?" she countered. But she quickly changed the subject back to the absent officer, "So when's he coming back?" 

"Why? You interested?" 

She looked at Blair as if stunned, "Are you kidding? Of course I'm interested1 He's _gorgeous_! Who _wouldn't_ be interested?" 

Blair thought about it a moment, briefly comparing his tall friend to Jim and Simon. It was no contest. "He's ok." 

"OK?!?! Blair, you have truly lost your mind if all you can say about that man is that he's 'ok'. But then," she continued, looking thoughtful, "compared to Jim and that dark chocolate god I saw you with this morning, I guess I can understand." 

"WHAT!?!?" Blair squeeked. 

Jenny continued as if Blair hadn't said a word, "By the way, who WAS that beautiful man who dropped you off? I'm not gonna have to kick your cute bi butt for cheating on Jim, am I?" 

Blair struggled to clear his suddenly tight throat, "No. It's not like that Jen." 

Jenny smiled and took Blair's large hand in her own, "Good," she said quietly, "you and Jim have been through too much to give it up for a quick fling." She'd seen what the two men had gone through to make their relationship work and she and Blair had spent many afternoons talking about relationships and life. "Lovers like Jim don't come along every day Blair, make sure you hold on to him." 

"I'll try," Blair whispered, trying to shake off the sudden tremor that Jenny's offhanded remark had loosed in his body. 

"Good," she praised, giving Blair's hand a tight squeeze before releasing it. Unaware of the effect of her words on her companion she plunged back into her desired topic, "So... tell me more about this 'Rafe' person." 

* * *

Two hours later Jenny's words were still replaying themselves in Blair's head. He was unusually subdued when Simon picked him up at four but if Simon noticed it, the larger man didn't say anything. Blair was grateful for that. He doubted if he could have explained his silence anyway. He smiled at Simon, only half-listening to the deep voice telling him how things went at the hospital. He turned the majority of his thoughts back to Jenny's words. 

She was right. Lovers like Jim, and Simon too, didn't come along every day. Blair was lucky to have such patient and handsome partners, he knew that. Hell, he reveled in it. It wasn't wanting to take them into his bed that bothered him, it was how that "wanting" made his heart feel. This was going to be more than just sex... this was going to be love. 

It had been so long since he'd felt this way about anyone and now he was feeling it for not one, but _two_ of his closest friends. He wanted this. He wanted the connection, the emotion. He wanted to give that to these two wonderful men. He knew he could trust them... but could he trust himself and his infamous "Sandburg luck"? He always managed to find love, but he never seemed to be able to keep it. And he knew from experience that "to have loved and lost" wasn't nearly as romantic as they made it sound. 

The touch of a large hand on his shoulder broke his introspection and he turned and smiled at Simon, realizing with a start that they had reached Simon's car. 

"You ok, Professor?" 

Blair stared up into dark brown eyes, partially obscured by the glint of afternoon sun off the lens of Simon's glasses. The tenderness in Simon's expression finally urged Blair to his decision, "Yeah, Simon. I'm fine." 

"Good, cause I'd hate to disappoint Jim by coming home empty handed." 

Blair's smile brightened and he quickly entered the car via the door Simon held open for him. //Maybe this time*// Blair thought as Simon settled into the driver's seat, // maybe this time it wouldn't hurt. /// 

Lovers. He rolled the word around in his head, waiting for the inevitable disaster, but none came. Maybe this time it would work. Lovers. That's what he wanted. He wanted Simon and Jim as his _lovers._ His thoughts began to slow as he felt long held tension seep from his bones in the warmth of the revelation. He leaned his head back against the headrest and drifted into a light sleep before Simon even pulled out of the parking spot. 

* * *

Screeching tires and the sound of metal impacting metal jarred Blair awake. There was a sickeningly familiar jolt as another car careened around the corner and plowed into them. Blair, still slightly muzzy from his abrupt awakening, tried to clamp down on the panic building deep in his chest. //Not again.// he pleaded silently, //PLEASE GOD NOT AGAIN!!// 

The sound of the driver door slamming shut helped bring him further out of his fear-filled memories. Simon was mobile, that was good. Blair finally opened his eyes and sighed in relief as he watched Simon survey the damage to the front end of his car. The driver of the other vehicle exited his car and advanced on Simon, undeterred by the obvious anger emanating from the large black man. The young man was almost as tall as Simon and built like a tank. Blair recognized him from one of his classes; the student was a football player and was known for using his size to intimidate people. The snide smirk and self-assured swagger as he approached burned away the last of Blair's control and Blair threw open his door, shaking with anger. 

Neither man looked towards him as he advanced on trembling legs. Simon was outraged and was making sure the youth realized it. The football player simply shrugged, unrepentant. The action caused something deep within Blair to snap and he let his own anger boil over into words. 

"What the HELL were you thinking,Fitzner?!?!?" 

Both men turned towards Blair. The reaction in the young student was immediate. Gone was the smug attitude and condescending stare. "Mr. Sandburg?" he squeeked, looking like he wanted to be _anywhere_ but was he was at that moment. "Oh crap. I am SO sorry. I didn't know...." 

Blair's eyes blazed, pinning the younger man and forestalling any further comment from him. Blair's hands were pale blurs as he continued as if the student had never uttered a sound, "You KNOW that curve is dangerous. There's a REASON it's marked 'Caution'!! What the _HELL_ were you doing that made it imperative to barrel around that corner at THAT speed?" 

The flushed face continued it's study of the cowboy boots that it had begun as soon as Blair had interrupted the player's explanation. "I... I had to get my eval report turned in before you left." 

Blair closed his eyes and his hands clenched into tight fists. "You had to...," the voice trailed off and Blair struggled to reign in his anger, "You KNOW I'd extend the deadline if you needed it. No damn paper is worth hurting someone else for!" Blair voice dropped, "You were lucky someone wasn't killed." Blair's voice broke on the last word but he quickly regained his composure, "Now," he directed, "go get the campus police so we can get this whole thing sorted out." 

The football player took one look at the barely contained anger in Blair's flashing blue eyes, muttered a hasty, "Yes sir." before retreating quickly in the direction of the campus police department. 

Blair turned away, his eyes flicking over the damage to the two vehicles. The heavy, older model car that Fitzner had been driving had clipped the side of Simon's car just ahead of the driver's door, its dark red paint leaving a jagged, blood-like streak down the side of Simon's car from the door to where the front bumper _use_ to be. Blair was surprised that Simon had been able to exit the car considering the damage. He ran trembling fingers over the impact point, shuddering as he realized how easily Simon could have been killed. Images of another car, damaged far worse and stained rusty red by something far more sinister than paint flashed through Blair's mind. He felt the world lurch suddenly beneath him, //Oh god...// 

"I'm impressed Sandburg," a concerned voice rumbled behind him pulling Blair from his terrified musings, "you had that kid shaking in his boots." 

Blair tried to appear nonchalant, but couldn't bring himself to face Simon's knowing eyes. "I hold his GPA in my hands man. Without a passing grade in my class he can't play football. It's a powerful tool." 

Simon wasn't fooled. He moved forward and laid a comforting hand on one broad shoulder. He was surprised to find how badly the younger man was trembling. Without thinking, or even caring, about how it might look if they were seen, he drew Blair back against his chest and wrapped his strong arms around the solid form. "We're ok Professor," he whispered, planting a gentle kiss into the mussed sable curls. "It's nothing that can't be fixed." 

Blair leaned against the broad expanse of Simon's frame and fought back tears. //This time,// the thought morosely, //but what about next time?// 

* * *

Simon thanked the young campus officer who dropped the two of them off back at the loft, then turned to his companion. Blair had been too quiet on the trip back from the University and Simon was starting to worry. "Blair? Come on. Talk to me, Professor." 

For the first time since the accident Blair looked up into Simon's face, and the remaining color drained from his already pale features. Short, powerful fingers reached up and brushed delicately across Simon's left temple, bringing away a trace of blood from the small cut there. "No...," he whispered, almost to himself, "not again. I can't lose you like I lost Richard." The dark curls bobbed wildly as Blair's movements became more and more erratic, the dark blue eyes losing their focus as the anthropologist wrestled with some inner demon. "I can't do that again. I can't," his blue eyes suddenly locked on Simon's concerned face and a soft sob escaped his lips, "I won't." 

Simon watched, stunned, as Blair took off towards the stairs like the Hounds of Hell were on his heels. "Blair,wait!" he called after the retreating figure." He followed the younger man to the loft as quickly as he could, the need to reassure the frightened man overriding any lingering ache within his bones. He took the stairs two at a time, his long legs eating up the distance, but not quick enough to catch Blair before he reached the apartment. Simon burst into the loft hot on Blair's heels, only to see Jim rising off the couch looking in confusion at the closing door to Blair's old room. 

Pale blue eyes turned to Simon, confusion clearly written in their cornflower depths, "Simon? Blair just came barreling in, took one look at me and bolted for his room," Jim accused. "What happened? What's going on?" 

Simon crossed to the couch and urged Jim back down before answering, "I honestly don't know, Jim. I wish I did. We had a little fender bender out at the University and he just... closed off. Jim," Simon asked, remembering a half-heard name, "who's Richard?" 

Jim thought for a moment, "He was a... a friend of Blair's when he started at Rainier." Jim tried to dredge up what he had learned about the briefly mentioned person. "Blair's still friends with the family I think. Why?" 

Simon tried to puzzle out the connection, "He said something about not wanting to lose us like he'd lost Richard." 

Jim's eyes widened as he remembered why the name had struck a cord, "Oh damn," he looked into Simon's eyes, his concern evident, "Richard died in an auto accident while driving Blair home from the university." Understanding dawned in rich brown eyes. Jim's head suddenly shot up, focusing on the closed doors as he dropped heavily back onto the couch. Anguish filled eyes latched onto Simon's. "Simon, do something. Blair's packing. He's leaving us." 

Spurred into action by the thought of losing the terrified young man without truly knowing why, Simon moved. He stood before the doors in three quick steps. This close he could hear what Jim had heard from the couch. Blair was packing, muttering to himself as he paced the confines of his room. Simon tapped lightly on the door, "Professor?" 

"Go away!" 

Simon shook his head in exasperation, looking back at Jim for advice. The detective had none. Then Simon heard the scraping of a door, the fire escape exit. //Damn!// "SANDBURG!" he bellowed in his best "no-nonsense captain" voice, "You've got to the count of 3 to get your gorgeous butt out here before I come in! And don't even _think_ about going out through the fire escape or I will personally track you down and then let JIM have you." 

Jim cringed in sympathy. He'd been on the receiving end of that particular tone far too often when he first met Captain Simon Banks, new commander of Major Crimes. Granted, he'd usually deserved it, but deserving it didn't make you dread it any less. Luckily for Jim, Simon had mellowed in the years Jim had known him. But now the Voice was back, and it _still_ brooked no opposition. Simon was staring at the door, head cocked as if listening to something. Jim cautiously dialed up his hearing and heard Blair moving about in his room but luckily not towards the fire escape. Unfortunately, he still wouldn't open the door and talk to them. Simon stood silently for a few more moments. Still no Blair. 

"Last chance, Professor. Come out on your own or I come in for you. Either way ,sweetheart," Simon said softly, "we are going to talk about this." 

Silence. 

Simon looked at Jim who shook his head. Blair was still, waiting in his room for the next move the two others would make, seeing if Simon was bluffing or not. Simon wasn't. 

"ONE." Still nothing. 

"TWO!" Silence. 

"THR..." 

The French doors opened and Blair walked out, hands up in surrender. "Okay! Okay! Happy now?" he scowled. 

Simon reached out and caressed Blair's cheek. "No. And I won't be until I find out what's wrong." 

The soft admission stunned Blair and he searched first Simon's face then Jim's, not sure what he was looking for but amazed to find only concern on the handsome faces. "It's nothing." 

"If it's bothering you this much Chief, it's more than nothing," Jim reassured him. "Come sit down and talk to us Blair. What's going on?" 

Blair let Simon steer him to the couch and settle him next to Jim. He couldn't bring himself to look at either man and focused on the coffee table instead. "It's stupid," he finally managed to say. 

Simon's long body moved into his field of view, taking a seat on the coffee table and grasping both Blair's hands in his own. "If it makes you this upset, it's not stupid. Talk to us Blair. You know we're here for you, as your friends if nothing else." 

"But what if I _want_ something else?" 

Simon and Jim exchanged confused glances over the top of Blair's down turned head. Jim reached out and began to stroke the curved back soothingly, "You've got whatever you need, babe... you know that. We're here, both of us, however you need us to be." 

Blair took a deep breath, struggling to control his inner fears and the rising waves of panic. This was too easy, too _damned_ easy. He knew Jim meant well but he just didn't understand. He couldn't understand, neither of them could. Nothing would be easy for them, ever. How could he ever tell them what he wanted, what he needed, when the very act of asking would doom it? He clutched at the hands holding so tightly to his own. But even knowing the cost, how could he let it go? The proverbial "rock and a hard place." Caught between want and fear Blair suddenly realized he was well and truly screwed. 

Jim listened as his Guide's heartbeat skyrocketed. He could feel the tightening of the muscles under his hand and the shallow, rapid breathing that were the only signs of his partner's distress. He increased the pressure of his hand on his Guide's back, trying to impress his presence on the panicking young man. Blair didn't notice. Finally Jim broke the tense silence, "Chief?" 

Jim's voice cut through Blair's tumultuous thoughts. Blair hazarded a look at the two men who were currently all that kept him from bolting. So much love in those expressive faces. It had been so long. Simon's hands were warm where they cradled his and Jim's hand never slowed in its loving reassurances. He would try. He _had_ to try, for their sakes. 

"I'm scared, man. This is just too easy. It's _never_ this easy." 

Blair's voice was so quiet; so defeated, so unlike Blair. Jim and Simon sat stunned, unsure just what had brought about this change in the young man, but willing to wait for Blair's explanation. 

The troubled blue eyes resumed their inspection of the floor and the lost voice drifted up to the other two men through a curtain of mahogany curls. "It's like I'm getting a second chance here and," there was a long pause before Blair finished his thought, "and I'm waiting for someone to take it all away." 

Simon reached out and brushed the long hair back from Blair's downturned face, raising the younger man's chin gently, "A second chance at what, Professor?" 

A mirthless smile twisted the full lips, "Happiness. Home." The expressive hands gestured around to include Jim, Simon and the loft, "This." Blair ran his hands through his hair and once again fought the urge to run. He finally looked at the handsome face of the man across from him, cataloging the strong features and searching gaze. His eyes lit on the rising lump on Simon's broad forehead and an image of another man, blonde hair slick with blood and rain, green eyes slowly dimming as Blair watched in horror, helpless, filled Blair's mind. Blair's eyes closed as he struggled against the grief that assauled him, "I can't do this again, Simon. I couldn't handle losing this," his voice dropped to a pained whisper that even Jim had to struggle to hear, "or the two of you." 

Simon didn't say a word, simply moved back to the couch and drew the young man into his arms, urging Jim to do the same. Between them, Blair was still, as still as he had been in the hospital just before his collapse and Simon held him tighter. 

Jim pressed his lips close to Blair's earring decked ear, "You won't lose us, Blair. We've come through too much together to lose each other now. We're here for the duration." 

Blair curled tighter into the encompassing arms, his stillness giving way to uncontrollable shivers as the reactions to the events of the afternoon finally ran rampant through his compact form. Simon and Jim held him even tighter, offering their silent support when words could not console him. Whatever what brought on their lover's fear, they would face it together. 

* * *

Finally Blair slept, the pain and emotional release taking their toll on the overworked body. Jim held the sleeping man close as Simon rose and lay a blanket over them both. Jim started to protest but was silenced by a long finger pressing firmly against his lips. He nodded but looked questioningly at the dark skinned man kneeling before the couch. 

"I'm going to go start dinner," Simon whispered Sentinel soft, "your job is to make sure he doesn't wake up alone. Understood?" 

Jim nodded his understanding and watched in wonder as Simon moved nearly silently across the loft to the kitchen. He'd forgotten how graceful the large man was. He realized with a start that he'd missed that unconscious ease and the man it belonged to. He settled Blair more comfortably across his chest and contented himself with watching Simon make himself at home in their kitchen. _Their_ kitchen. Jim liked the sound of that. Blair was right, it wouldn't be easy, but they could do this. They could, and would, make this work. 

* * *

Blair woke to the smell of Italian spices and Jim. He cracked open one eye and found he was lying curled against Jim's chest, held lovingly in the sentinel's embrace. He inhaled greedily the smell of his lov... partner and wrapped his arms around the trim waist to return the hug. 

Jim's hand stroked Blair's curls. "Hey, sleepyhead." 

Blair didn't look up, content to stay burrowed against the broad chest for as long as he could. "Hey," he whispered back. "How long...?" 

"How long what, Chief?" 

Blair finally looked up and stifled a grin at Jim's expression of feigned innocence. "How long have I been asleep, Jim?" he asked. 

"Not long enough." 

"Jim..." he warned. 

A large hand came to rest on the small of Blair's back, "About an hour. Professor. I told him to let you sleep for as long as you could. You needed it." 

Blair sat up and studied the captain. "But Simon, this is Jim's first night home. I thought we had... plans." His wiggling eyebrows left no question as to what he was asking about. 

"Later. We've got all weekend," Simon jibed, leaning down to claim a brief kiss. "Besides, the night is young." 

"Promises, promises." Blair pulled Simon in for another kiss before allowing him to stand then grinned at the dazed look in Simon's eyes. 

"Oh fine. I see how I rate." 

"Jealous," Simon growled good naturedly before leaning in to kiss the pouting detective. "Now, if you two want to eat sometime soon, I need to get back to the kitchen." 

Jim quickly leaned back against the couch cushions. "By all means," he said magnanimously. "After a week and a half of hospital food, I'd be the _last_ person to detain you. I remember your cooking." 

Simon smiled at the shared memory, shaking his head indulgently. "Well, I hope I don't disappoint." 

Jim searched the other man's face, noting the quickly disguised uncertainty lurking behind gold framed lenses. He caught Simon's large hand in his own, "You could _never_ disappoint m,e Simon. You should know that." Simon caressed Jim's face with his free hand. Never breaking eye contact, Jim brought their joined hands to his lips and pressed his lips to the dark skin. He flicked his tongue lightly over the flesh, drawing in the taste of Simon and the spices the other man had been cooking with. He kissed the hand again before releasing it, finally releasing Simon's gaze as well. The older man drew a shaky breath and ran his long fingers through Jim's short hair. 

"wow." 

The breathless exclamation shifted both men's attention back to their companion. Blair sat cross-legged on the couch, watching them with wide, heated eyes. "You two are beautiful together," his voice was husky with suppressed emotion. 

"Thank you, Chief." Jim reached for Blair and pulled him closer, including him in the embrace. 

Blair snuggled in again running his hand up and down Simon's arm as he studied Jim and Simon's interlocked fingers. He looked back and forth between the two men and let the feeling of love and acceptance flow over him. It had been so long. He added his own hand to the intertwined grip. 

Simon smiled as Blair's strong fingers closed around his and Jim's. He could tell that Blair was still scared but it was a start. They'd get through this. He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Blair's cheek then rose. "If you two want to eat sometime this week, I'd better get the chicken into the oven." 

Blair's stomach growled at the mention of food, eliciting a laugh from all of them. "So," Blair said, the normal spark of mischief back in the blue eyes, "what's cooking?" 

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, Sandburg," Simon grumbled. 

"Okay... okay," Blair's hands rose in surrender, "what I meant was, do you need any help?" 

Jim's arms closed around Blair's chest, "Good save, Chief," he whispered. Blair smacked him lightly on the hip. Jim laughed. He could feel the tension slowly easing out of the body in his arms. It was so good to hold Blair again. He didn't realize how much he'd missed the feel of his partner until he'd had him back in his arms, now he didn't want to let him go. He concentrated on the feel of muscle and skin and... BLAIR under his hands... whole and relaxed and safe. He closed his eyes and turned up his sense of touch, trying to take in every nuance of the body he held in his arms, a body denied him for the last few weeks. Jim was lost before he even had a chance to react. 

"I can always use help, Professor. Besides, you make a better salad than I ever did." 

Blair started to rise, only to find himself held firmly against Jim's chest. He tapped the strong arms, "Hey, man, come on. I need to get up here." The arms remained locked around him. "Jim, come on. Let go." He turned to look at his Sentinel and was surprised to find Jim in the grips of a zone out. "Oh, man! This totally sucks." 

"You ok, Professor?" Simon called from the kitchen. 

"Yeah. It's fine. Everything's under control." He wiggled around in the constricting circle of Jim's embrace, straddling the powerful legs and taking the dazed face in his hands, "Come back to me, Jim. Come on. Open those beautiful eyes for me, baby. Don't do this to me Jim. Come on, we were doing so well!" 

"What's happened, Blair?" 

Simon's voice startled him and he turned to find Simon watching them intently. "He zoned," he said simply before turning his attention back to Jim. He stroked the frozen face and continued talking to his Sentinel, trying to draw him back from his sensory overload. 

"Excuse me." 

Blair paused to look at Simon. "He's let himself get too absorbed in one sense and it's overloaded, blocking out all other stimuli," Blair explained "He's 'zoned' on that sense and I have to bring him back." 

"I've seen him do this before," Simon said. Blair nodded, not diverting his attention from the still unresponsive Jim. "How can I help?" 

"I don't know. We've got to get him to 'unfocus' from that one sense. Draw him back to awareness of the other senses. But I'm not sure which sense he's focused on." 

Simon thought for a moment. He walked into the kitchen and brought back a small dish of the marinade he'd used on the chicken. Blair shot him a concerned glance. "It's Jim's favorite marinade," Simon explained. "I was just getting ready to dump it on the chicken before putting it in the oven. I figure it can't hurt." Blair smiled and motioned for Simon to continue. 

Blair watched as the large man dipped his finger in the spiced liquid then ran it over Jim's lips. It was disturbingly erotic watching the dark finger tease the thin lips open, insinuating itself between the strong, white teeth. Blair shook himself out of his arousing thoughts, concentrating instead on talking his partner back to them. "Jim," he said calmly, his voice becoming more commanding, becoming the voice of a Guide, "I need you to come back to us now. I know you're tired and it's been a long, trying day, but I need you to focus for me. Follow my voice, Jim. You know how. Come back now, Jim." 

The sharp intake of breath was their first indication that Jim was back. The second was the darting of the pink tongue, tentatively tasting at the marinade still coating his lips. "You used less oregano this time, Simon. I like it." 

Simon and Blair exchanged bemused glances and Blair leaned in, resting his forehead against Jim's. The blue eyes finally opened and took in the concerned expressions of his companions. 

"I zoned didn't I?" Blair nodded. Jim's hands caressed the bowed back. "I'm sorry, Chief. I didn't mean to scare you." 

"You didn't scare me Man. It was just too much you know? Just stay with me, ok?" 

Jim held his partner close, "Promise, Chief. I'm right here. Honest." 

Simon rose and started back towards the kitchen, only to be stopped by a hand clutching at his wrist. "Simon," Jim's voice turned the name into a caress, "thank you." 

"Didn't want you to miss out on your first night back. Now, you want me to go cook or not?" 

The gruff tone didn't fool either of Simon's companions. "Come here for a minute,Big Man," Jim purred. Simon returned to their side and surrendered to Jim's kiss. "Thank you, Simon. You know, you're going to learn how to take thanks graciously if it's the last thing I teach you." 

"Oh, really? And if I object?" 

"Then _I'll_ teach it to you," Blair chimed in, not cowed in the least by Simon's stern expression. Blair leaned in and kissed Simon as well, stroking the short hair lovingly. He released hislips and sat back on Jim's legs once more. "Now you can go cook." 

Simon laughed, a full, rich sound that filled the loft, "Thank you so much, Professor. And what, pray tell, are _you_ going to be doing while I'm slaving away in the kitchen." 

"Keeping Jim company." 

Simon shook his head and ruffled the dark curls. "Well, as long as you keep him occupied, I guess I can't complain." 

"HEY!" Jim protested. 

"Face it, Tiger, you are staying put for the duration. Doctor's orders!" 

"Simon! I've spent the last week and a half 'staying put.' I've only been out of bed long enough to walk to the bathroom and back or to go through therapy." 

Unperturbed, Simon turned to face Jim. "And if you want to stay in bed for the remainder of the weekend like you said this afternoon, you won't argue with me. Got it?" 

Jim blushed hotly, "Yes sir." 

"I thought that might make you see reason. Sandburg, your job is to keep him occupied for the next 20 minutes or so." Noting the wicked look in Blair's eyes Simon quickly amended his order, "Not Like THAT!" Blair's crestfallen look almost broke through Simon's command resolve, but he managed to hold on to it a little bit longer, "I don't NEED that kind of distraction... yet. Talk, watch tv, I don't care, just keep him from getting too antsy. He is probably the WORST patient I know." 

"You're no pic-nic yourself... sir." 

"I heard that Ellison," Simon said, not turning from his task in the kitchen. 

Blair had to laugh at his companion's antics. "You two sound just like Robyn and Jay used to. It is SO strange." 

Jim turned his attention back to the smiling imp sitting on his thighs. "Who are Robyn and Jay, Chief?" 

"Richard's parents. I use to spend weeks with Richard and his folks." Blair replied. "After growing up with Naomi it was a real culture shock to stay with a 'normal family'. The first time they started bickering like you two were just now. I thought they were going to split. I totally freaked. Richard kept reassuring me that it was normal, but I was so sure that it was the end. Robyn saw how upset I was and she and Jay sat down with me and did their best to convince me that it was ok. After that they kind of adopted me. They made sure that Richard brought me home with him as often as he could so I could see that they were still together and that everything was ok. It took a while to get use to, but it finally sunk in." 

"Naomi never fought with her... companions?" Jim asked carefully. Blair shook his head. 

"Not like that, there were disagreements, but they were more like... discussions. I mean, come on Jim, you've met my mom. She'll talk you to death before she ever raises her voice." 

"I hear you, Chief." 

Blair laughed and slugged his partner good-naturedly in the shoulder. "You are so bad!" He looked thoughtful for a moment, "Have I ever shown you a picture of Robyn and Jay?" 

"You rarely talk about your past, Blair, so... no, you never have." 

Blair looked away from Jim for a moment. "Would you like to see them?" he asked tentatively. 

Jim could hear the rapid beating of Blair's heart and feel the tension in the other man's body. He hooked a finger under the elfin chin and tipped the handsome face upward. "I'd love to, Chief." 

"Cool!" Blair was instantly off Jim's lap. He disappeared into his room and the sounds of searching were heard shortly thereafter. 

"That was a good move, Tiger. I'm proud of you." 

Jim turned and smiled at his superior. "Thanks, but I meant it. I want to hear about his past." 

"So do I Jim... so do I." 

Blair returned moments later carrying a photo album. He sat down next to Jim on the couch and laid the faded red book out on the coffee table. "You have to promise not to laugh, man. PROMISE!" 

"Promise." 

Blair pushed his hair back behind his ears and smiled up at Jim, "Good, because I was a _serious_ geek when I started college." 

"And you're not now, Darwin?" 

"Jim,that is SO cold!" 

"Play nice Ellison or you'll be playing alone," a deep voice admonished from the kitchen. Jim looked suitably chastised and Blair couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up inside him. In the kitchen, Simon smiled at the lighthearted sound. It had been too long since he'd heard that sound. 

Jim pulled Blair into his lap and kissed him in penance, smiling as the other man's lips opened for him before finally pulling away. 

"Oh wow," Blair murmured his eyes still half closed. "You keep that up and I'll have no choice but to distract Simon." 

"Ellison!" 

"It's not my fault. You try and keep your thoughts pure with this vision sitting on your lap." 

"Blair, stop teasing Jim." 

"Yes sir," Blair answered with a grin as he wiggled suggestively against Jim's lap. 

"I saw that, Sandburg. Behave." 

Blair grinned back at the mockingly stern man in the kitchen. He could see the mirth in Simon's eyes so he wasn't worried. He felt Jim's lips brush against his hair and leaned back into the welcome embrace. He'd forgotten how fun this kind of connection could be, how comfortable. It had been so long since he'd felt like this. He leaned over and snagged the book from the table and searched a moment before finding the picture he wanted. He smiled and angled it so Jim could see it over his shoulder. 

"Family portrait, Chief?" 

"Yeah. You know my mom. Then me, obviously, and that's Robyn and Jay." 

Jim studied the picture intently, Blair was in a graduation gown, his unruly hair shorter than it was now but still managing to curl around his beaming face. Robyn had one arm wrapped securely around Blair's waist, sharing the young man with his own mother. Robyn was about Blair's height with straight blonde hair, a Rubenesque figure and a smile that could light up a room. Jay stood beside her, tall and thin with curling gold hair and bright green eyes. Blair looked so at ease with the them, as did Naomi. The picture of a loving family. 

"You look really happy." 

"Yeah, I was. Naomi had just come back from England and _just_ managed to make it to the ceremony. I hadn't been able to participate in the undergrad graduation so Robyn and Jay went out of their way to make sure I got a real blow-out for my Master's. I didn't even know mom was coming in." 

Simon listened with interest as Blair spoke about his past; the happy memories only, the older man noted. He wondered if Blair even realized how much his voice betrayed him. He couldn't help but wonder about "Richard" and what part he'd played in Blair's life. But his questions would wait; tonight wasn't about the past, it was about the future, their future. He risked a glance at the two men sitting, lost in pictures of anthropological expeditions and homecomings and felt an unexpected wave of melancholy wash over him. He shoved back the feelings of intrusion and imposition, concentrating on the picture Jim and Blair made, sitting so close on the couch. They were beautiful together, Blair fitting against Jim as if he were designed to fit no where but in Jim's embrace. And Jim, well, Jim looked more at ease than Simon had ever seen him, so unlike the tough, raw-edged smart ass that Simon had taken to his bed so many years ago. Simon was glad that Jim was finally happy. Again the melancholy threatened, but Simon ignored it and busied himself making sure dinner was perfect for his two lovers. 

* * *

The three men sat down at the table to a special dinner a la Banks that passed easily in friendly conversation. Jim and Simon each regaled Blair with stories about the other until the graduate student had to beg for mercy so he could catch his breath. He in turn offered more tales of his early days at Rainier and all too soon the food was gone and they were clearing the table. 

Blair was worried that the ease would be put away as quickly as the dishes were, but he was pleasantly mistaken. They settled themselves on the couch for after dinner coffee and further conversation. But Blair's mind kept wandering back to Simon's comments earlier that day, and he was painfully aware of the growing tension in his body. Both Simon and Jim were taking great pains to touch him as much as they could and the constant contact was going straight to his groin. He knew Jim was aware of it... he had to be giving off pheromones like crazy. But the Sentinel never gave the slightest hint that anything was out of the ordinary. And SIMON, Simon could have won an Oscar for his studied non-challance as he took every opportunity to brush against Blair's oversensatised flesh. Slowly, touch by touch, Blair was being driven insane. 

"Something wrong, Chief?" Jim asked, his hand burning a path over Blair's shoulder and arm. 

Blair turned, his eyes blazing, hovering somewhere between furious and so turned on he couldn't think straight. "Hell yes, something's wrong!" he snapped. "You two!" He hopped off the couch and began pacing, ignorant of the confused looks passing between his two companions. "You're driving me crazy! Either start something or... or.... I don't KNOW!" He threw up his hands in exasperation. "You're driving me out of my mind here!" 

Simon's chuckle brought a quick end to Blair's tirade. "Blair," the name was like a caress over Blair's taut nerves, "driving you crazy was never our intention. We just wanted to make sure you were comfortable." 

Blair shook his head. "I'm beyond comfortable, man." He walked over to Simon and ran gentle fingers down the dark cheek, he turned to include Jim in his gaze, "And I want this. Please." 

Jim reached out and drew Blair closer. Without a word he reached up and undid the tie holding back Blair's curls. The sable mass dropped around Blair's shoulders and Jim ran his fingers greedily through the silken strands. The Sentinel inhaled deeply, enjoying the mixture of herbal shampoo, spice and musk that he'd come to identify as 'Blair'. "Been wanting to do that all day," he said huskily. 

Blair smiled and leaned into the now familiar caress. Since they'd begun sleeping together, Blair had learned that Jim had a fascination with the dark curls that Blair often thought of as little more than a nuisance. He hadn't realized just how much Jim liked his hair until he'd mentioned cutting it one night. Jim had nearly zoned on the thought, his fingers burrowing possessively into Blair's hair. That had ended all talk of anything beyond the occasional trim. Jim had also taught him how erotic the simple touch of fingers threading through his hair could be... like now. Blair growled deep in his throat and captured Jim's lips with his own. 

Simon watched the two men with interest, enjoying the sight of his friends' passion. He smiled as Jim pulled Blair firmly onto his lap and wrapped his arms around the younger man. Lips parted and two sets of passion hazed blue eyes turned toward him. Nothing had prepared him for the sight of them together or for the obvious love between them, love now directed towards him. Simon sighed as his body tightened in response. He stretched out a hand and ran it over Jim's heavily corded arms. "Tiger, why don't you go prepare the bedroom and I'll help Blair with his shower." 

Blair looked back and forth between the two men. "I think I can manage a shower on my own, guys." 

Jim nuzzled Blair's neck. "We're sure you can, Chief, but," his voice dropped to a seductive whisper, "Simon'll make it worth your while." Blair shuddered in Jim's arms, his eyes going to the silent man at the end of the couch. Simon arched one eyebrow, his eyes shielded by his glasses. Blair turned back to Jim, uncertain. "Trust me babe," Jim whispered, his hands running over the tense back, "neither of us will hurt you." 

Blair smiled openly then. "I know that. The thought never crossed my mind, I'm just...," his eyes locked with Simon's once more, "nervous." 

"Why?" Simon's voice was soft and compelling. 

"Don't want to disappoint you." 

"Oh Blair..." Simon took Blair's hand in his own, "you could never disappoint us. Either of us. Now why don't we let Jim get busy while we check out the hot water supply?" 

Jim stood an unsteady Blair on his feet and kissed the young man before starting towards the stairs. "Simon," he called over his shoulder, "I expect you to treat him as well as you did me... if not better." 

"Upstairs James, you've had your shower, now it's his turn. We'll be up soon and I expect everything to be ready." 

The tone in Simon's voice sent another shiver up Blair's spine but the young man stood his ground torn between apprehension and anticipation. He kept his eyes on Jim retreating figure, not sure he was ready to face Simon. Large, gentle hands alighted on his shoulders, the strong fingers caressing and calming him. "You all right Professor?" 

The concern in the voice was enough to alleviate any remaining fear Blair had. He turned to face the man behind him, "Better than all right." He reached up and pulled Simon down into a deep, possessive kiss, rejoicing when Simon's arms wrapped around him in a crushing embrace. They stood, locked in each others arms until a discrete cough from the stairs intruded on their peace. 

"What happened to the shower?" Jim asked. 

Simon didn't loosen his hold on the precious bundle in his arms, "Comments like that will have you sleeping alone, Ellison." 

Jim wasn't cowed by the familiar growl, "Nah, you want this as much as I do, Big Man, so that threat won't work this time." 

" _This_ time??" Blair squeaked. 

"Later, Professor, head to the bathroom and I'll be there in a second," he said, urging Blair towards the bathroom. "Don't undress," he admonished the younger man. "I want to unwrap you myself." Blair's grin was nearly blinding as he ducked into the small room, leaving the other men to their conversation. Simon turned to the man on the stairs. "Problems Jim?" 

Jim smiled bashfully. "No. I was just enjoying the view. Are you ok with this?" 

Simon thought for a moment before answering, "Yeah, I am. Thank you." 

"For what?" 

"For everything." 

Jim moved down the stairs to stand before his friend and lover. He reached out and removed the gold frames from their seat on the handsome face, placing them on a nearby shelf before returning to unbutton Simon's shirt. Nimble fingers made short work of the fastenings and the shirt slid silently from the broad shoulders into Jim's waiting hands. Jim kissed the solid column of Simon's neck, nipping at the sensitive spot just below Simon's ear. "Don't keep him waiting, Simon. I'll bring towels for you. Go on." 

Simon kissed Jim deeply then headed for the shower and the man waiting for him there. 

* * *

Blair stood just inside the bathroom, unsure just what to do while he waited. He promised not to undress so he contented himself with setting out his shampoo, conditioner and soap. He toed out of his shoes and socks, setting them just outside the door then sat down on the edge of the tub. He wondered if he should start the water, but decided against it, not sure how hot or cold Simon preferred his showers. His nervousness was just starting to get the better of him when the door opened and a barechested Simon walked in. The bathroom suddenly felt very small. 

Blair struggled to remember how to breathe, then Simon smiled. The dark eyes crinkled at the corners softening the otherwise stern features. "Now what, Simon?" he asked nervously. 

"Now, I get to explore that gorgeous body of yours. If you don't mind." 

Blair's voice died in his throat when confronted with the heat in the older man's gaze. He wasn't sure whether to nod or shake his head in answer so he opened his arms in supplication to the dark man before him. Simon's smile warmed Blair, reassuring him of the man's feelings for him. Simon eased the first layer of flannel from Blair's shoulders, laying it on the closed lid of the toilet. He chuckled at the long sleeved shirt that was the next layer, noting the faded and well worn fabric. "A favorite of yours, Professor?" 

"Yeah," Blair confided as Simon eased the fabric up and over his head. "Jim said it looked good so I tend to wear it a lot around the loft." 

Simon's laugh echoed in the confines of the small room, "Why doesn't that surprise me?" Simon pulled off the thin t-shirt and ran his hand over the well furred chest. He felt the younger man shiver. "Why don't I start the water? Do you prefer warmer or cooler water?" 

"Hot." 

Simon cast a knowing glance at the rapidly growing pile of clothing, "I sort of guessed that." He eased past Blair and started the shower, noting the selection of bottles lined against the wall with a smile. He had figured Blair for a shower hedonist. Satisfied that the temperature was just right he turned and finished undressing his companion, easing the faded jeans and brightly colored briefs down the well muscled legs and adding them to the nest of shirts. Blair was half-erect and beautiful. Simon trailed teasing fingers up the dusky shaft and caught Blair's moan with a kiss. "Soon beautiful, I promise." 

He stepped back and quickly shed his own slacks, underwear and socks. He pulled back the shower curtain, checking the water temperature one last time before pulling the young anthropologist in with him under the spray. His large hands sluiced water over the compact form, skimming over the contours of Blair's body. The younger man tipped his head back, wetting down his hair with a sigh before finally meeting Simon's eyes. 

Summoning up his most seductive smile Blair shook out his damp curls and pinned Simon with a heated stare. "Like what you see, Big Man?" Blair purred, echoing Jim's earlier nickname for the handsome black man. 

Simon lifted the heavy curls from Blair's neck and kissed the damp skin. "Very much," her replied. Smiling at the sigh the move elicited, Simon snagged one of the bottles off the side of the tub and read it's label carefully. Satisfied with its contents he opened the bottle and squeezed a dollop of the thick gel into the palm of his hand. He worked the shampoo into a white lather then massaged the bubbles into Blair's tresses. Simon took his time, turning the simple act into an act of seduction. He rinsed the soap from the dark curls and picked up another bottle. He turned their bodies so that his own broad back shielded Blair from the water and began to apply the conditioner. He finger combed the slick mixture through the damp, sable mass, chuckling as Blair leaned back into him with a groan. "Like that, Professor?" he teased. 

"Man, if you ever decide to give up police work you've got a promising future in the hair industry." 

"I'll remember that." Simon reached for the final bottle, an organic, herbal shower gel that he knew was one of Blair's particular favorites. "I take it Jim likes this too?" Blair's blush told him all he needed to know, "You've got it bad, Sandburg." He began to smooth the clean-smelling gel over the darkly furred body. Knowing fingers sought out the responsive nubs of Blair's nipples, teasing them to tightness through the damp matt of curls. Blair arched into the touch with a whimper, begging for a firmer touch. Simon shook his head, dropping a soft kiss onto the parted lips. 

With slow, deliberate strokes Simon continued his loving assault. Arms, hands, back and legs were lathered with the herbal foam. Simon knelt before the smaller man, lifting first one leg and then the other to soap and rinse each foot before setting it carefully back down into the tub. With Blair's hands settled on his shoulders Simon ran his large hands up the inside of the muscular thighs. His hand cupped the heavy sac between Blair's legs, cleansing it carefully while slowly arousing the younger man. Soapy hands roamed over the tender flesh, moving back, parting the firm globes of Blair's buttocks and gently washing the intimate area. Blair moaned and pressed against the cleansing fingers. Simon pulled his hand away. "Soon, but not yet," he said. "That's _upstairs_." 

"Simon... please." 

Simon rose and took the young man in his arms. "Soon." He turned them so the spray came down on Blair, washing the soap from the trembling body. He tilted the handsome face up, catching the water and directing it over the mass of curls. The conditioner slid easily from the hair, pushed along by Simon's hands until the warm water ran clear. 

Simon quickly washed himself, much to Blair's dismay. "Don't I get to return the favor?" he asked. 

The larger man simply shook his head, rinsing the suds from his body with quiet efficiency. "I don't want to keep Jim waiting any longer than we have to. Besides," he added with a smile, "I showered with Jim when we got in from the hospital." Turning off the water Simon pulled the unresisting man out of the shower, looking around for the promised towels. Three towels sat on top of their clothing along with two robes, Blair's and the one of Jim's that Simon had been using. He'd been so wrapped up in what he was doing with Blair he hadn't even heard the other man come in. He snagged the top towel and began to dry off his young lover. 

Blair laughed and took the towel from Simon's hands and wrapped it around his wet hair. "Trust me Simon, it's easier this way." 

Simon ran a hand over his own short hair. "I'll take your word for it, Professor." Picking up another towel Simon started once more to dry the man before him. He briskly rubbed the towel over the other man's body, then wrapped Blair in his robe. "Don't move because we're not done yet." 

"Yes sir," Blair whispered, his smile evident in his voice. 

Simon scowled back at Blair, but his brown eyes were soft. He picked up the third towel and dried himself quickly before wrapping the other robe around himself and turning back to his silent companion. Blair's eyes were dark as he watched Simon belt the robe. A pink tongue wet the full lips and Simon's eyes were drawn to the unconsciously erotic gesture. He was glad for the coverage the robe offered. "Come here," he growled, reaching out for Blair. The young man came willingly to Simon's arms. 

Moving slowly, Simon unwrapped the towel that covered the long strands of Blair's hair. Starting with his fingers, Simon worked at the knots in Blair's dark curls. Blair groped around the sink a moment then handed a large tooth comb back to Simon. Simon took the offered comb and began to work it through the damp mass, gently working out the tangles. The hair hung around Blair's shoulders in wet strands. Simon turned Blair to face him and smoothed the hair back from his face. "Do you mind going to sleep with it wet?" 

Blair shook his head. "Not if you'll help me comb it out in the morning." 

Simon smiled and ran his hand down the side of Blair's face, "It's a deal. Shall we go upstairs?" 

Blair blushed and smiled up at the older man. "Yeah," he whispered, turning his face to kiss the broad palm, "I'd like that." 

Taking Blair's hand in his, Simon led them towards the stairs. Blair's smile didn't falter as they ascended the stairs and Simon felt some of his own tension draining away at the ease in his young soon-to-be lover. As they reached the top of the stair, Simon had to admit Jim had outdone himself this time. The bedroom was lit by three multi-wicked candles and moonlight. An opened bottle of essential oil sat in a warming dish over a tea candle on the desk, it's mild fragrance adding to the ambiance of the room. On the nightstand next to the bed sat the box of condoms, a tube of lubricant and a package of latex gloves. But the most impressive sight was Jim, sprawled out across the bed, naked and gleaming in the moonlight. Simon had forgotten how attractive his lover was by moonlight. He winked at Jim and the detective smiled back brightly. 

"I was about to come down and check on you two," Jim teased. He held out his hand. "Aren't you both a little over dressed?" 

Simon eased the robe from his own shoulders and hung it on the end of the railing to the stairs. Stepping back into Jim's line of sight he opened his arms, offering the ice blue eyes an unimpeded view. "Better?" 

Jim took in the sight of the dark body exposed for him, broad shoulders tapering into a well defined waist and long, solid legs. Jim's eyes were drawn down the wall of Simon's chest to the washboard stomach so often hidden by tailored suits and dress jackets and further down to the dark nest of curls and the full erection. He let his eyes linger and was pleased to see the other man's shaft bob in reaction. " _Much_ better. Missed you." The blue eyes turned to the still figure behind Simon. "Chief? Are you ok?" 

Blair swallowed hard and nodded to the pale form on the bed, "I'm fine. Wow. I'm just..." 

Simon turned and ran a gentling hand over the still damp curls. "It's all right." He rubbed his hands over the terry-cloth covered shoulders and arms. "Second thoughts?" 

"No." Looking into Simon's eyes Blair undid the belt of his robe and shrugged it off his broad shoulders. Simon's smile went a long way to calming the butterflies currently doing acrobatics in his stomach. Letting the robe fall he took a step towards the bed and his lover. The thought started the butterflies again and he struggled to stem off the rising panic attack. 

At the first sign of a raised heartbeat Jim was kneeling on the bed, reaching for his Guide. Simon motioned him back and ran a large hand down Blair's back. Blair seemed to calm at the touch and Jim sat back on the bed, watching. 

Simon leaned close and whispered softly in Blair's ear, "Go on." Blair seemed frozen to the spot. Simon pressed a soft kiss to Blair's temple, his large hand roaming further down the broad back to rest on a pert butt cheek. "He's been waiting for you Blair, go on." Simon gave the dark haired man a tiny push and the steady legs took over, carrying Blair to the bed and into the waiting arms of his partner. Simon watched as Jim kissed the younger man, settling the dusky body close to his own and whispering in the earring studded ear. He watched as Jim relaxed their long-haired companion, the detective's hands and mouth moving in soothing and arousing patterns over the soft skin. Blair turned and held out his hand to Simon. 

Simon knelt on the bed, leaning forward to claim Blair's lips with his own, delighted to feel the full lips part and the soft heat of Blair's tongue against his own. Breaking the kiss with Blair he repeated the maneuver with Jim, moaning as Jim's hand came up to cradle the back of his head while the detective deepened the kiss. The moan turned to a gasp as Blair's mouth closed over one of his nipples and proceeded to suckle and tease it to erection. Outnumbered, Simon gave in to the attention and the accompanying sensations. Simon pulled back slightly from the kiss, his hand clutching at Jim's biceps rhythmically as Blair's mouth continued to pleasure him. "God... you are... getting way too," Simon gasped as sharp teeth nipped at the tight bud of flesh, "too good at that." 

Blair finally released the tortured flesh, licking it with a broad sweep of his tongue before turning midnight blue eyes towards his panting bedmate, "Good," he whispered seductively, "I'd hate to think I'm losing my touch." 

Simon's passion dulled mind took a moment to realize why the phrase sounded so familiar. He hugged the smaller man close, remembering the seduction in a hospital room what seemed like a lifetime ago. "Are you sure?" 

"You know I am, Simon. Show me how gladly you want to take me up on that offer," Blair paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, "make love to me." 

Simon sat back on his heels and twined a damp strand of Blair's hair around his fingers. "My pleasure." Simon felt a large hand cup his own face and looked up into the pale blue eyes of his other lover. "Correction," he said, brushing a kiss over Jim's palm, " _our_ pleasure." 

Blair drew Simon close and then kissed each man in turn. 

Simon caressed Blair's back then urged him down onto the mattress, stretched along Jim's side. Jim's arm went around the smaller man's shoulders, pulling him closer still. Simon met Jim's eyes, his breath catching at the familiar fire in the pale blue depths. He ran a trembling hand over Jim's arm, trailing his fingers from Jim's flesh to Blair's and back again. He could almost feel the connection between the two men and suddenly any doubt as to how the night should go disappeared. They needed this. His decision was made without regret. Even if this was the only night he would have with these two, which he sincerely hoped it wouldn't be, he wanted it like this. 

Sure now of Blair returned relaxation, Simon moved to the edge of the bed and opened the package of latex gloves, separating one from the rest. He slipped it over his long fingers and smoothed it down over his dark skin making sure there were no tears in the thin material. He felt eyes on him and looked up to see Jim turning Blair so they both could observe Simon's actions. He smiled at the larger of the two men on the bed and went back to smoothing on the glove. 

Jim returned Simon's smile, leaning down once more to nip at Blair's earlobe, "See that, Chief?" he whispered throatily, "He's getting ready for you." Blair shuddered in his arms and Jim tightened his grip reassuringly, "It's ok, trust me." He understood Blair's unease. Until he'd met Simon, he'd always viewed latex gloves as 'medical' and about as unerotic as things got. Simon had shown him the error of that belief. And now Simon was about to introduce Blair to that same pleasure. He snuggled in closer, inhaling the scent of his partner and soon to be lover. 

The bed dipped slightly as Simon settled back down beside them. Blair's eyes darted nervously over Simon's relaxed body, lingering over the gloved hand. Simon followed Blair's gaze and he smiled reassuringly. Without a word he ran the glove over Blair's cheek, caressing one prominent cheekbone. Blair's eyes closed as he concentrated on the sensation of the latex against his skin. It was cool and smooth and oddly soft. He opened his eyes in confusion. Simon chuckled, "It's a very light talc. Something a... friend suggested to me. It keeps the latex from grabbing hold and is soothing to the skin." Blair had to agree with the assessment. 

"Turn over for me." 

Blair nodded and turned in Jim's arms. He rested his head against Jim's shoulder and sighed as Jim's left arm pulled him close and began rubbing up and down his back in long strokes. Given a chance to relax and think about what was to come, Blair's butterflies returned, much to his chagrin. Breathing deeply he anchored himself around Jim's solid form, his left leg curling around Jim's legs and his arm snaking across Jim's flat stomach. Jim captured the nervously clenching fingers in his own, "Relax, Chief, I've got you. You're safe, you know that." Blair nodded against Jim's shoulder and pressed closer to Jim's comforting warmth. Jim kissed the top of Blair's curls and cuddled his lover, relieved when the nervousness slowly ebbed from the body in his arms. 

Simon drank in the picture the two of them made, his own body responding to the erotic scene they presented. He eased himself down beside them, and began the gentle touches designed to relax and arouse his lovers. He kissed Blair's exposed neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin and teasing it with quick darts of his tongue. He ran his hand down Blair's side and over the curve of his hip and buttocks. The talc made light lines over the dusky flesh, lines that Simon retraced with a roaming finger, painting abstract forms in the fine powder. The muscles under his fingers twitched and Blair's throaty moan echoed in the stillness. Simon increased his tender assault and smiled as Jim's hands joined his own in arousing their bedmate. Soon Blair was moaning in earnest, his narrow hips thrusting against Jim's hard thigh. 

Jim's fingers toyed with Blair's nipple ring, causing Blair to arch against Jim with a strangled cry. "Ready now, love?" Jim purred. 

"Please..." 

Simon reached back for the tube of lubricant and coated one finger with the slippery liquid. With infinite care he ran a questing finger down the crease between Blair's buttocks and teased at the tight opening there. He spread the lubricant over the puckered star with slow, deliberate movements before easing his finger past the tight ring of muscle and into the heat of Blair's body. At Blair's whimper he stilled allowing Blair time to adjust to the penetration. 

"Chief?" Jim asked, his concern evident. 

"Fi... fine," Blair gasped, inhaling deeply, "don't stop. Please don't stop." 

"I don't plan on stopping Professor," Simon answered, slowly pressing his long finger into the depths of Blair's eager body. Blair shivered and Simon lowered himself until he rested securely against the smaller man's back, offering Blair his warmth. "Relax, we've got you. It's all right." 

"I'm ok, Simon, really. It's just," Blair gasped as Simon began thrusting his finger in and out of Blair's body, "oh god yessss... Been so long Simon. Please... more." 

"All in good time, all in good time," Simon said softly. He felt the muscles relax and began to increase the speed of his thrusts, preparing his lover. Soon Blair was thrusting back against his finger in earnest and Simon chuckled, nipping at the bare shoulder playfully. A shudder passed through the compact body and Simon drew his finger nearly out only to add a second finger before thrusting back in. 

"GOD!" 

Jim's hands stilled his young lover, kissing the upturned face while his hand caressed the tensed back. "Breathe, Chief, breathe." 

"I _am_ breathing, man. I'm ok. I'm ok. Just... warn me... oh god yes Simon, _Please_!" Blair struggled for breath, his body thrusting back to meet Simon's fingers. "Just warn me next time." 

"Sorry," Simon said apologetically, scissoring his fingers to open Blair further. He angled his thrust and brushed his fingers over the small bundle of nerves deep within Blair's body. The dusky body jerked and Blair's arm tightened around Jim's waist. "That make up for it?" Simon inquired devilishly. 

"It's a start," Blair managed to force out through clenched teeth. "It's definitely a _start_." The final word was little more than a strangled gasp as Simon repeated the maneuver. 

"Gently, Simon," Jim admonished. Simon nodded and eased up on his strokes, concentrating on relaxing the quivering muscles that clenched at his fingers. Jim watched in fascination as Simon's long dark fingers buried themselves in Blair's eager body. He could feel the heat coming off his young lover and the smell of pheromones was nearly overpowering. He could see the control in Simon's face, control that the he himself had once been on the receiving end of, a control that was driving Blair as wild as it once had him. 

Jim's hands resumed their own erotic assault on the compact form in his arms. He teased at the sensitized nipples, tugging on the silver ring while his thumb brushed over the flushed peak. He delighted in the breathless moans of his young lover, working to build those moans to a fever pitch. His own arousal was nearly painful as each cry from Blair seemed to go straight to his groin. He kissed the younger man and found his mouth claimed with fierce passion. His tongue dueled with the tender invader, drawing it deeper and allowing it to explore freely. It was Jim's turn to moan as Blair's hand suddenly released his and wrapped around Jim's aching erection. His hips bucked wildly, pushing him into Blair's talented grip. 

"Careful," Simon whispered into Blair's ear, "you're gonna want that in a minute." 

Blair's breath caught at the thought of Jim buried deep within him. His hand stilled, but remained wrapped loosely around the heated flesh. "Please Simon. So close..." 

Simon curled around Blair's shivering body. "Ready for one more babe?" Blair nodded, releasing Jim's shaft and digging his fingers into Jim's hip. Simon snagged the tube of lubricant and added a bit more to his gloved fingers before inserting three fingers back into the willing body under him. Blair tensed briefly as the feeling of fullness assaulted him but relaxed quickly under Simon and Jim's gentle touches. Simon leaned forward and kissed Jim deeply, cradling Blair's body between them. 

Blair had never felt safer. He relaxed and reached back to draw Simon's large form closer, not wanting to lose the connection between the three of them. Simon's fingers were wrecking havoc with his thinking, drawing response after shuddering response from his passion wracked body. "So good," he cried, "Please don't stop... please." 

Lips pressed against his cheek and Blair sought them eagerly, wanting more. Jim's voice sounded huskily in his ear, "Don't plan on stopping, Chief. But I want to be in you ,love... want to feel you around me, surrounding me." 

Blair's entire body shook with the image of Jim taking him and Blair nodded, unable to find his voice. Simon felt the movement and slowly withdrew his fingers from the relaxed opening. Blair whimpered at the loss but Jim quickly distracted him by pulling the relaxed body over his own like a living blanket and caressing the tender flesh with knowing hands. 

Simon removed his glove with a snap and reached for the box of condoms. He caught Jim's eye and smiled at the dazed look in the ice blue eyes. He knew the feeling. His own arousal was almost painful as he watched Blair's talented mouth moving restlessly over Jim's flesh. The dark blue eyes turned on him, the square hand reaching out for him. He captured the hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently. He moved back and urged Blair to his knees, straddling Jim's narrow hips. He kissed the small of Blair's back and ran his hand lovingly over Jim's erect member. With sure movements he opened the foil packet, drew out the lubricated prophylactic and smoothed it over Jim's shaft, causing the large man to moan and shift under his hands. 

Condom in place, Simon straddled Jim's thighs, holding Jim still as he drew Blair back along the hard body to rest the younger man against his chest. He nestled Blair's head against his shoulder and continued to tease Jim's erection with light touches. "Is this what you want, Professor?" 

Blair nodded but wrapped his hand around Simon's, "Want you too. You're a part of this." 

Simon kissed Blair's neck. "There's plenty of time for that later, babe. This time is for the two of you. You need this, you need to reestablish the connection between you. Besides," he added with a husky laugh, "it's not like I won't be getting something out of this too." He brought Blair's hand down to rest on his own rock hard erection. "You two are so beautiful together." 

Blair caressed the heated flesh under his fingers, smiling as Simon gasped and bucked against him. "Next time Simon..." 

"Uh, uh, Professor. Next time I want _you_ in me." 

Blair closed his eyes and let the passion stirred by Simon's words work its way through his body. 'Next time.' For the first time since they had begun talking, Blair had the feeling it was about more than just one brief time. Simon had assured him it wasn't, that he, like they, wanted something more. But Blair had always wondered, had always worried, that Simon was holding something back. Now that feeling was easing, and Blair couldn't wait for that next time. 

Simon could feel the change in the compact form in his arms. He lifted Blair to his knees and positioned him over Jim's hips. "Is this what you want, Blair?" 

"Yes." 

Simon kissed Blair's neck, nipping at the spot just behind Blair's ear that never failed to arouse the younger man. The dark head fell back against Simon's shoulder with a sigh and Simon nuzzled at the offered column. He caressed the furred chest, tweaking the peaked nipples until Blair was moaning and relaxed against him. Carefully, Simon brushed the head of Jim erection over the rosebud entrance to Blair's body. He felt Jim's strong legs tense as the large man struggled to maintain his control and not thrust upward. He held the condom encased hardness steady. "It's your move now," Simon said to Blair. "You set the pace and we'll follow." 

Blair took a deep, centering breath and slowly lowered himself onto the slick hardness of his partner's shaft. Jim was big, larger than Richard had been, and Richard had been so long ago. Even with all the preparation it was difficult for Blair to relax through the familiar pain of penetration. His legs began to tremble with the strain of supporting his body as he tried to give himself time to adjust to the welcome intrusion. Strong arms wrapped around his waist, taking some of his weight off his legs and he leaned gratefully back against Simon's broad chest once more. Breathing deeply, he struggled to relax, reminding himself of the pleasure to come. A large, dark hand closed around Blair's flagging erection and began to slowly stroke and tease it back to life. Blair laid his head back on Simon's shoulder, trying to relax his body for his lover. 

//Lovers,// he corrected himself. The word didn't bring the chill of fear it had for so long, now it brought the warmth of passion and love. The realization did as much to calm his fears as his breathing exercises did. Blair turned and kissed Simon's jaw softly then gave himself over to the sensations his lovers were drawing from his body. 

Jim was drowning in sensation. The smell of arousal hung heavy in the air, the pheromones pushing his arousal off the scale. He deliberately dialed down his sense of smell. His other senses compensated. Blair's whimpers and moans accompanied by Simon's quiet reassurances and the sound of flesh sliding over flesh echoed in his ears. The tight heat of Blair's body engulfed him, only Simon's welcome weight on his legs and the fear of hurting his young lover kept him from thrusting sharply upward into the inferno that was Blair. It was too much and he struggled for something to focus on. His eyes moved to his lovers. Simon's dark hand curled around Blair's paler manhood, the contrast striking in the flickering light of the candles. Jim watched in fascination as Simon's fingers gracefully danced over the hardening flesh. His eyes focused in on the contrasting tones and watched in fascination as the swelling tissues flushed from the influx of blood throbbing through the vein and nerve laden expanse. He could see the pulse thrumming in one large vein and focused in. 

A sharp pinch on his thigh brought him quickly back to himself. 

"James Ellison, don't you dare!" 

Simon's voice was little more than a growl but it shook the last cobwebs of the "zone" from his mind. He looked up gratefully at the dark face and reached up to clasp the fingers that still rested on his thigh. Simon's hand squeezed his gently then placed it on Blair's trembling thigh. Jim caressed the powerful leg, smiling encouragingly at his glaze-eyed lover. Blair's lips curled into a smile and he covered Jim's hand with his own. Jim pressed upward with his hips earning a gentle hiss from his lover. "Chief?" 

Blair wiggled his hips, drawing Jim's manhood deeper within himself. "Fine... I'm fine. Just don't stop, PLEASE, don't stop." 

Jim smiled and began to thrust gently, burying himself by slow increments into the tight heat of his lover's body. Blair's hands rhythmically clutched at Jim's strong fingers as he lowered himself completely onto Jim's shaft, sighing as the pain gave way to the delicious feeling of fullness. Jim's hands shifted, wrapping around Blair's waist and steadying the younger man as he seated himself on Jim's pelvis. They both stilled, adjusting to the new and intimate connection between them. 

Simon ran his hand over Blair's tense back, and moved off Jim's legs allowing his lovers to move freely. He settled on the mattress beside them, watching as they began to move, losing themselves in passion. He could feel his own arousal building as he watched them and began to stroke himself in time to their movements. He hadn't lied when he told Blair he would be getting something out of their coupling, but he suddenly felt like an intruder, an interloper in their bed. Shoving the thoughts away he concentrated on the beautiful scene before him and worked his body in time with their's. 

"Simon..." 

His hand stilled at the sound of his name. Blair's eyes were almost black in his passion but his hand was steady as he reached out towards Simon. 

"I told you, you're a part of this. Come here." 

Simon was drawn by the look in Blair's indigo eyes. He knelt beside them, his eyes searching Blair's flushed face as the young man pulled him in for a deep, searing kiss. His arms automatically wrapped around the slender form, reveling in the closeness. Hungry lips parted, inviting him in and Simon plunged his tongue into the damp expanse willingly. 

The eager lips captured Simon's moan as Jim's fingers left Blair's waist to curl possessively around Simon's throbbing flesh. The nimble fingers caressed him lovingly, working him closer and closer to release. He stilled the fingers and pulled away from Blair's lips. "This is for you..." Simon began. 

Blair's voice was breathy in his ear, "No, Big Man, this is for _us_." He removed Simon's hand from Jim's and brought it to his lips. With deliberate care he licked the broad palm, wetting it thoroughly while Jim's hand resumed its attention to Simon's erection. Simon gasped at the erotic assault but was unable to pull his eyes from Blair's mouth. Blair pressed a kiss to the center of the palm and lowered it to his own weeping manhood. 

Simon rubbed his damp palm over the head of Blair's shaft delighting in Blair's breathy moan. The narrow hips thrust upward, drawing a gasp from Jim and Blair alike and Simon smiled devilishly. He curled his hand around the turgid flesh and began to stroke it in earnest establishing an ever increasing tempo. Blair's hips matched the rhythm, rising to meet Simon's strokes then falling to impale himself once more on Jim's erection. Jim's hand continued to stroke and tease Simon, creating a frenzied counterpoint to the thrusting of Blair's hips. 

Blair wrapped his arms around Simon's shoulders and pulled the dark man toward him, lips and tongues met and dueled in frantic passion. Jim's hips thrust upward sharply drawing a strangled cry from Blair and Simon broke the kiss to steady the young man. 

"Gently, Tiger. Make it last," Simon whispered, once more stilling Jim's hand. He drew back slightly and smiled at the heat in Jim's eyes. He kissed the palm of Jim's hand and tugged the large man into a sitting position. Jim wrapped his arms around Blair's trembling form and began to thrust in earnest as Simon planted kisses over both their bodies. "Claim him. Show him how much you want him, how much you love him," he whispered in Jim's ear. "Build the passion in him. He's close, lover... and so are you." Simon nipped at the corded muscles in Jim's neck then licked at sweat covered flesh. "Look at how beautiful he is, Jim, and he's yours..." 

Jim shook his head. He wrapped his arm around Simon's shoulders, his hand cupping the back of Simon's skull and pulling the dark head close. "Not mine," he growled, latching onto Simon's shoulder and suckling at the juncture of shoulder and neck. "Ours." Chuckling as Simon leaned into the embrace, Jim proceeded to taste and tease at spots he'd learned would drive the older man wild. "This is for _us_ Simon. _All_ of us." 

Blair smiled at the exchange, joining Jim in wrapping an arm around Simon's body. He divided his attentions between Jim and Simon's lips, writhing in the maelstrom of sensations crashing over him as the two proceeded to love him into oblivion. The only sounds in the darkened loft were the sounds of their lovemaking. Blair stroked Simon's erection as Jim held the dark, panting form close. Jim continued to thrust into Blair's willing body much to the younger man's delight. They were all so close. Simon began thrusting wildly, all control gone in the face of his impending climax and Blair joined with Jim in driving the larger man over the edge. He sped up his strokes even as his own body began to shake in passion. Simon's loud cry echoed in the still night as his body stiffened against Jim's chest. Hot fluid splashed over Blair's fist as Simon climaxed in long shuddering thrusts. 

Blair's own climax wasn't far behind, the feel of Jim and Simon's hands and lips on his body had worked him into a frenzy. The knowledge of _who_ was holding him and _who_ was possessing him was as heady a realization as the feel of their touch. Feeling Simon's release and the after shocks still quaking through the large body took him even closer. He looked deep into Jim's eyes, and the love shining in the blue depths was the final piece of the equation and with a strangled cry Blair came. Blair buried his face in Jim's neck, his hand digging into Simon's muscled hip as he rode out the tremors of his climax. His body's tensing dragging Jim over the edge with him. 

Simon was the first to recover. He looked over at his two lovers lying in a tangled, sweaty heap on the bed. He smiled as Jim turned sleepy blue eyes towards him. He leaned in and kissed the detective's kiss swollen lips, "Need a hand?" he whispered. Jim nodded and tightened his grip on his young lover. Simon brushed the sweat damp curls out of Blair's face. "Professor?" 

"Condom," came the muffled reply, "I know. Just give me a minute more please? Don't wanna lose this just yet." 

Simon laughed and nodded, caressing the curve of Blair's back. Finally Blair nodded and raised himself up to his knees once more. Simon gently clasped the base of the condom and helped ease Jim's softening member from Blair's tender passage. He eased Blair back down beside Jim and watched as they curled together with the ease of long time lovers. He removed the condom and disposed of it with quiet efficiency. He stroked Jim's face softly, "I'm going to go get something to clean us up with. I'll be right back." 

"Don't be too long," Jim cautioned, urging his dark skinned lover in for another kiss. 

Simon nodded, kissing the offered lips before heading down the stairs to grab the necessary items. He cleaned himself quickly then returned upstairs to clean his lovers. Jim allowed himself to fussed over, knowing that this intimacy was something Simon enjoyed, claiming it was an extension of the act itself. The large hands were gentle and loving as they cleaned the evidence of their passion from their bodies. Blair sighed under the careful ministrations, drifting to sleep as Simon caressed him with the soft towels. Seeing the boneless contentment in Blair's body, Simon smiled. He retrieved the blankets from the end of the bed where Jim had placed them earlier and drew them up over the two other men. Jim yawned deeply and snuggled Blair closer to him before drifting off himself. 

Simon blew out the candles and turned towards the bed. Simon could see them, highlighted in the moonlight like alabaster against the dark sheets. The two men were curled around each other, Blair's head nestled comfortably on Jim's shoulder and Jim's arm thrown possessively over the dusky back. The feeling of intrusion returned and Simon set the towels on the floor so he could slip into his robe. He tied the sash and picked up the towels again, intending to head downstairs for the night, moving quietly so not to disturb the sleepers. He managed one stair before Blair's sleepy voice stopped him. 

"Simon?" 

Simon didn't move. "Go back to sleep,Professor." 

Blair's head lifted and turned towards Simon. "Where are you going?" 

"Downstairs," Simon said quietly. He sighed as Blair shifted further to face him. 

"Why?" 

//Even half asleep he has to argue// Simon thought with a grimace. "To sleep," he answered simply. 

"There's enough room here for all of us, Simon," Jim's voice declared, sleepy but alert. 

"You two need time together." 

Jim interrupted him gently, " _WE_ need time together, Simon, _all_ of us." 

Simon didn't feel like arguing. "Jim," he said in his most reasonable tone, "I don't want to intrude." 

The words brought the smaller form on the bed upright. "Simon, if anyone is intruding, and they aren't," Blair hurriedly amended, "it's me. You and Jim were together long before I ever entered the picture, but that's not important." He locked eyes with the dark form. "I don't want to turn this into some 'Jim loves you more' situation. Jim loves us both. You know that, I know that, and Jim _definitely_ knows that. Right?" He waited for Simon's nod before continuing, "And as to wanting you here... Jim wants you with us," he turned back to Jim for confirmation which was quickly given. " _I_ want you with us. So the question remaining is..." he paused to make sure he had Simon's complete attention. "do _you_ want you with us?" 

Simon was silent for long moments before answering. His eyes softened as he studied his two lovers who were watching him, waiting for his response. The love was visible even in the dim moonlight. Pushing all his fears aside Simon answered from his heart, "More than anything." 

He could almost feel Blair's smile as he reached out for the older man. "Cool. Then get that beautiful bod back in here, man," Blair chided as he lifted the covers in invitation, "cause I'm cold." 

Simon's full hearted laugh rang out abruptly. "Yessir, Professor," he teased, undoing his robe and replacing it on the bannister. "Wouldn't want you getting cold." 

Blair grinned like a Cheshire cat, "Exactly man, exactly!" 

Simon joined his lovers on the bed snuggling into Blair's open and waiting arms. Jim's hand reached over the smaller body between them and caressed Simon's face. Simon captured the questing hand and kissed it softly. He was surprised when Jim leaned over Blair's form and claimed first Simon's lips and then Blair's. 

"I'm glad you're here Simon." 

"So am I lover," Simon had to admit, "so am I." It had been a long time since he had felt so at home and so loved. With that comforting thought, and his lovers' arms wrapped securely around him, Simon finally began to drift. 

Concluded in part four.


	4. Of Sleep and Dreams part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> see part 1 for summary and notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an fyi - there will be further editing now that this is posted in full. No MAJOR changes, just grammar issues that i can see now, that i missed when this was first posted. Please enjoy and i hope the glitches don't throw you out of the story too badly.

Blair shifted again, trying to ignore the pressure in his bladder. No use. Reluctantly he opened one eye, then the other and then, with a sigh, began to extracate himself from the warm tangle of arms and legs and blankets. Simon shifted easily, never waking as Blair eased out of his arms. 

"Everything, ok Chief?" Jim's voice was soft and husky with sleep. 

"Yeah, but nature is SCREAMING man," he whispered, offering Jim an apologetic grin. "Need to head downstairs." With an answering smile, Jim lifted the covers for his lover. "Aren't you gonna let me out?" 

"I'm not stopping you," Jim purred. He watched as Blair's eyes narrowed and the heat rose to the stubble roughened cheeks. 

"How did I manage to fall for a complete lecher?" he asked in feigned exasperation as he climbed over the top of Jim's prone form to exit the bed. 

"Just lucky I guess." 

Blair playfully punched Jim's shoulder. "I'll show you lucky," he growled before leaning in to capture Jim's lips passionately. The older man whimpered softly at the welcome but unexpected reaction. Blair sighed as well, breaking the kiss with obvious reluctance. "Sorry, man, but this will not be ignored." 

Jim chuckled, "I understand." He kissed the full lips lovingly. "Just be careful on the stairs. Turn on the light if you need to, it won't bother me," Simon's soft snore sounded from the other side of the bed and both men smiled indulgently, "or him." 

"Back in a jiff, man, keep my spot warm." 

"You got it." Jim moved to the middle of the bed, seeking out Simon's warmth, as he listened to Blair padding lightly down the stairs. The warm glow of the bathroom light briefly flared in the dark stillness of the loft before Jim heard the familiar creek of the bathroom door and the light slowly faded back to only moonlight. He let the soft sound of Simon's breathing ease him back into sleep. 

* * *

Blair turned off the bathroom light and waited for his eyes to readjust to the dimness of the loft. He moved slowly towards the kitchen to grab a quick drink of water before heading back upstairs. He smiled at the thought of returning to the cocoon of flesh and blankets that awaited him in the large bed he'd so recently abandoned. Turning on the soft light over the stove he reached for a glass from the cabinet. He stood by the sink, sipping the cool water eagerly, when a pale card setting on the counter caught his eye. Carefully setting his half empty glass next to the sink, Blair reverently lifted the long forgotten shard of his past and ran loving fingers over the silver-gray embossed name: Richard Michael Bennett, May 20, 1965 - April 30, 1988. Blair's unsteady legs moved him to the couch were he sank into the cushions and let the painful memories wash over him. 

* * *

"Richard, I'm fine! Honest." 

"Uh huh. That's why I found you asleep over your notes. Get in and hush Puck. I can drive tonight." 

* * *

Blair's world exploded. His body was thrown sharply against the door and then the dash as the night sky tumbled head over heels. Searing pain shot through his chest, shoulder and left leg as the crumpled car finally came to rest, wrapped around the base of a large tree. 

"Richard? Richard, answer me. Please." 

"right here puck." 

So weak. The normally rich voice was too damned weak. Blue eyes sought out green, startled by the amount of blood covering the pale blonde hair. "Hold on love. Someone had to have seen this. Help'll be here soon." 

* * *

//*Cold. Hurts. Don't think I'll ever be warm again. Richard? I'm scared Richard. You're so still. And there's so much blood. Hold on Richard. Pl ease hold on. Gotta stay awake. but i'm just so tired.*// 

* * *

"Richard. I think I hear them. Open your eyes for me babe. Come on, you can do it. Please Richard. Don't leave me man, don't leave me." 

Long fingers weakly brushed back tangled mahogany curls, "love you blair." 

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" 

* * *

Simon wasn't sure what had woken him up until the heartbreaking whimper sounded once more in his ear. "Jim? Wake up, Jim. It's ok." The large body jerked under his hands as Jim came awake all at once, disoriented and scared. "You're safe, Jim. You're safe. Relax." 

"Blair?" 

It took a moment for Simon's sleep muddled mind to realize that the young anthropologist wasn't in the room. "He must be downstairs. Relax and I'll get him." He watched in confusion as Jim tilted his head to one side, listening to something Simon couldn't hear. Questions were instantly forgotten as the detective lept from the bed and bolted down the stairs. Simon joined him quickly, stopping only to grab the robes from the bannister before following in Jim's rapid footsteps. 

Simon took in the scene before him with concern. Blair was huddled in one corner of the couch, Jim kneeling on the floor in front of him talking in concerned whispers. Simon walked towards them slowly, giving Jim time with his Guide. 

"Blair. Talk to me, babe. Please." Strong hands gently pushed back the tangle of sable curls obscuring the handsome face, "At least look at me, Blair, let me know you're in there." 

The huddled form inhaled sharply at the touch and seemed to suddenly come aware of his surroundings. "Jim? Oh, man. I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry." Shaking hands levered the naked form away from the arm of the couch, while trying to unobtrusively release the slip of paper that had been held in a death grip only moments before. 

Simon moved to retrieve the fallen paper, earning a blush from the busted culprit. He glanced at the paper, wondering what was so incriminating. Silver-gray lettering caught the light: 'Richard Michael Bennett, May 20, 1965 - April 30, 1988. Good night sweet prince and may hosts of angels sing thee to thy rest.' Inside the funeral announcement was a sheet of newsprint carefully preserved in a plastic sleeve. He read the headline and glanced up sharply at the young man trying to sneek away unnoticed from the couch. "Blair?" 

"It's nothing. It was a long time ago. I'm fine. Let's just go back upstairs... please." 

Simon didn't need to be a Sentinel to hear the despiration in the young man's voice. Jim looked back and forth between the two of them, finally moving closer to Blair, putting a restraining hand on the younger man's arm, "Blair. It's not nothing." He gently ran his fingers through the still damp tracks on Blair's cheeks. "Talk to us, please." 

Defeated and cornered by his concerned lov... partners, Blair sat down on the couch letting Simon wrap a robe around his shoulders for warmth. It didn't even touch the cold that had settled in his soul. He took the paper from Simon and handed it to Jim without a word. The detective sat down beside him on the couch and began to read. 

"'Fatal Accident at Haver's Corner Claims Honor Student.' The headline read, 'Just two weeks away from his graduation at Rainier University, English honor student Richard Bennett is dead. Coming home late last night from a study session at Rainier, Bennett and his roommate were struck by an oncoming driver who crossed over the center line on the dangerous curve at Haver's Corner. The driver, Mr. Saul Whitcomb age 40, was pronounced dead on the scene while Mr. Bennett passed away on route to St. James Memorial Hospital. Bennett's roommate, Blair Sandburg age 19 and also a student at Rainier, is listed in stable condition at St. James.'" The article went on to discuss the continuing argument about the safety of the Haver's Corner curve, a curve now well lit and marked with numerous danger warnings because of that accident. Jim wondered why he hadn't made the connection before. 

A dark hand handed him the second slip of paper, the cream colored funeral announcement. He scanned it carefully, trying to see what it was that had caught Simon's attention. Then he saw what Simon had seen. "Richard is survived by," he read softly noting the subtle changes in the deathly still form beside him, "his loving parents Robyn and Jay Bennett, his lifepartner Blair Sandburg, his grandmother Olivia Rose Bennett and numerous other friends and family." 

It was his Sentinel senses that allowed him to catalog the effect his words had on his silent lover, the slight hitch in the indrawn breath, the sudden spike in the already rapid heartbeat, and the _almost_ silenced whimper. It was the whimper that undid his own control. Without a word he drew the chilled body against his chest, feeling Blair curl instinctually into him. He ran his hands over the terry-covered back, putting all his love into the gentle touch. He startled as a warm hand closed reassuringly over his own shoulder. He looked up into warm brown eyes, damp with unshed tears and smiled. He knew his own face was marked by the tears Blair couldn't find but he didn't care. He reached up and clasped the offered hand, acknowledging the comfort given and received in the simple gesture, before turning his full attention back to his hurting partner. 

"Gram Rosie insisted that my name should go before hers. I tried to argue with her, I mean, she helped raise him, but she wouldn't budge. She said it was only right that my name be after Richard's parents... that it was the proper thing to do." The voice was soft, muffled against Jim's solid chest. Jim squeezed his partner tighter, placing a soft kiss on the tangled hair. "We were going to wait until I was 21 to make an official commitment. We never made it that far." 

"I'm so sorry, Blair, so very sorry." 

Grateful blue eyes searched first Jim's face then Simon's. Simon's free hand reached out and caressed Blair's face and the young man smiled softly, leaning into the touch, then yawned. Simon's deep chuckle echoed in the stillness of the dim loft. "Jim, I think we should all go back to bed," his fingers carded absently through Blair's hair, "we can talk more in the morning." Blair's eyes pleaded briefly with Simon's but Simon simply leaned down and kissed the broad forehead. "It'll be all right, Professor. Promise. But for right now, it's been a long and eventful day and we could all use some sleep." He walked around the couch and held out his hands to his lovers. "Come to bed," he growled softly, smiling as two hands curled around his own. 

They ascended the stairs in silence, pausing as Jim left them to turn off the few lights Blair had turned on. With a final glance at the room behind him, Jim quickly rejoined them and together they returned to the bedroom. No one spoke as they arranged themselves on the bed, unwilling to disturb the moonlit spell that settled over the room. Under the welcoming embrace of the blankets, the two larger men nestled Blair between them, holding and rewarming their precious charge. 

Simon and Jim could feel Blair struggling against the sleep that worked to claim him. "Relax, Blair." Simon's long fingers carded through Blair's curls as he talked, relaxing the younger man until his eyes began to drift closed. "That's it babe, relax. It's been a long day and we all need some sleep. You're safe here, relax and rest." 

With a contented sigh Blair let himself relax into their arms. How long had it been since he'd felt this loved? He curled his face into Jim's chest and drew Simon up tight behind him, wrapping himself in their warmth. As his body warmed Blair was surprised to find the chill inside him thawing as well. He wondered if he had finally found a warmth that could ease the cold guilt he'd been carrying for so long. 

He curled closer to Jim in the darkness and clasped Simon's arm securely around his chest, needing the contact between them. Simon smiled and listened as the younger man's breathing deepened as he eased towards sleep. He had nearly slipped into sleep himself when Blair's voice whispered in the darkness. 

"Richard made me feel this safe and I lost him." Blair's quiet voice was rough with emotion, "It's my fault he died. _I_ should have been the one driving. He hated to drive at night, especially on that stretch of road, but I was too tired." Blair's voice broke and he quieted, but neither companion broke the silence, giving the young man time to compose himself. 

"Richard's aunt was right," the voice resumed, "It should have been _me_ being lowered into that cold, dark hole, not Richard. If he hadn't been with me, if we hadn't been lov...," he stumbled over the word. Even after all this time, the recriminations of the harsh-voiced woman tore at him. Logically, he knew that the fact that he and Richard had been involved had had nothing to do with Richard's death. But the words thrown at him as a grieving nineteen year old still ate at his soul. He finally gave voice to the guilt that had been slowly devouring him, "If we hadn't been... lovers... maybe he'd still be alive." 

The pain in Blair's voice went straight to Simon's heart and he had to struggle against the rage building in him at a woman he'd never met. He looked over at Jim and realized his was not the only anger rising. Simon captured Jim's hand and brought the clenched and trembling fingers to his lips. He kissed the fingers gently, offering Jim his silent support and taking Jim's in return. This wasn't easy on any of them, but Blair needed to get this out. 

"And now... now _we're_ lovers and I'm scared it going to happen again. I couldn't survive that again, not now, not you two. If this is all I ever have, it'll be enough. I need friends more than I've ever needed lo... lovers." 

Jim could smell the fear coming off his companion in waves. The rapid beating of his heart, the panicked rise and fall of his chest... Blair's words were coming faster and faster, the trapped hands fluttering against Jim's chest nervously. Jim waited a few moments, letting the tidal wave of words crash over them and then retreat. He kissed the sweat dotted forehead, trying to find the words he needed. 

So much made sense to Simon now: Blair's wish to not be called lover, his seemingly casual attitude towards relationships, his reaction after the accident. He could trace it now, and Simon wondered how long Blair had held his secret fears in check, and just what they would have to do to overcome them. 

"But it's not enough is it, Blair?" Simon's deep voice rumbled in the dark. 

"no." 

"Then what are you going to do about it lover?" he said deliberately, angered by the tremor that passed through Blair's form. He nuzzled the long neck and cursed the woman who could take such vileness out on a grieving nineteen year old. "How long has it been since someone's called you 'lover,' Blair?" he asked, his voice quiet and seductive in the concealing darkness. "How long have you let a word drive you away from what you truly want?" 

"I _know_ it's irrational, but I couldn't live with myself if she was right and I contributed to your deaths." 

"She was wrong, Blair," Jim whispered, "It wasn't your fault. It was _never_ your fault." Jim wrapped himself around Blair, twining his fingers in the tumble of fragrant curls. "I love you Blair, always." 

Blair shuddered in his arms, "you don't understand..." 

Simon remembered the look on Jim's face as they had pulled Blair's limp body out of the fountain. The anguished cry that had been torn from the detective as the paramedics told them Blair was gone. "Oh, I think he does, Blair. I think he understands all too well." 

Jim reached out and stroked Simon's face, noting the tears under his fingers. He turned his attention back to Blair. "You told me once that fear wasn't a bad thing. That it was simply a response to circumstances and that it was how we dealt with that fear that was the true telling factor." The words brought back painful memories, but he knew he had to get Blair to understand. "It took me a long time to come to grips with that Darwin, but you helped me. Once you kicked me in the butt hard enough to get my attention," that brought a watery chuckle from his partner and Jim smiled. "Don't let fear destroy this before it starts. We've almost done that once, Blair. I don't want to do it again." 

"Jim... I..." 

Jim could feel the hesitation in the compact form. Pushing past his own fears, taking comfort in the concealing dark, he asked the question he was most afraid of hearing the answer to, "Or am I making an assumption here that I shouldn't Blair? _IS_ this what you want, or is it too much? Is that why you're so reluctant?" 

"NO! I... I want this. I want this to work! With both of you. I'm just... scared." 

Even in the darkness, Jim could see that Blair's eyes were wet with tears. He wanted to wipe the pain from those beautiful eyes, wanted to watch those eyes darken with passion as he claimed that compact body once more, wanted to replace the fear he saw there with love. Jim cradled tBlair to him and felt Simon's arms encircle them both. Once more silence descended as the three men held each other in the darkness, each wrestling with his own demons. 

The icy grip around Blair's heart began to melt, slowly fading in the heat of his lovers' embrace. Grief replaced guilt and slowly seeped from beneath tightly closed lids. Again words tumbled into the darkness, "I was so scared. There was so much blood and he was so still. I... I begged him to hold on, but..... They tried, I know they did, but I felt him slip away from me. It hurt. Oh God, it hurt!" An anguished sob, finally released after so long, wracked the trembling form, pulling with it years of guilt and pain and fear. Two pairs of strong arms wrapped him tighter in their embrace, holding him safe until, spent, Blair finally slept. 

* * *

The next morning started with a direct violation of House Rule #51, no eating in bed. Blair woke to the smell of eggs and bacon and coffee. He cautiously opened one eye and groaned at the stab of light that assaulted him. He tried to pull the blanket up over his face only to have it pulled unceremoniously back down. "Oh, come on, man. It's too early to be awake." 

"You sure about that, Professor?" Simon teased, waving a cup of steaming, aromatic coffee under Blair's nose. 

One blue eye cracked open. "That is so unfair, Simon." 

"Hey, Darwin, if it works." 

"JIM!!! Don't tell me you're in on this too." 

"Anything that gets me out of having to smell one of your green monstrosities first thing in the morning I'm all in favor of," Jim replied. 

Blair's retort was cut short by Simon. "Come on you two. Get your lazy butts situated so I can set this thing down." 

"Hey Jim, about this new breakfast place, I like the location, but the service needs work." 

"Keep it up, Professor and you can get your own breakfast after Jim and I eat this one." 

Blair immediately made placating motions and struggled out from under the confining blankets. He graced Jim and Simon with a lopsided grin as he scrambled out of the tangled bedclothes. "Hold that thought, man! Nature calls. I'll be right back," he called out over his shoulder as he vaulted down the stairs. 

Jim and Simon shared a smile over the younger man's rapid exit and Jim quickly straightened out the blankets to give Simon a place to set the tray. "You didn't have to do this." 

"I know that, but I wanted to. After last night..." 

Jim reached out and drew Simon to him, "I know. It'll be all right." 

"But this morning," Simon struggled to find the words, "he's acting like nothing happened." 

Jim smiled, "He's still processing. He'll be ok. If it was still a problem he'd be closed up like he was before. This is a good sign. Trust me." 

Simon leaned back against the headboard, "I've never seen him so scared, Jim. Even after Lash he wasn't that shaken. I want to find that old bat and make her pay for what she did to a frightened teenager. How could she say those things?" 

"I don't know. She was angry and hurting, and you know how things can be said in the heat of the moment," he shared a sad, knowing glance with Simon, "It doesn't excuse it, but..." 

"I don't like to see him hurting." Simon's voice was rough and quiet, "He deserves better." 

Jim handed a piece of toast to his bedmate, "And he's got it, Simon. He's got _us_ and we're going to make sure he knows how cherished he is." Blair's tread on the stairs forestalled any further discussion. 

* * *

It was a lazy Saturday and none of them had anything more to do than enjoy each other's company. Blair worked on his class notes and research while Jim and Simon good naturedly argued over what to watch on TV. Blair enjoyed the normalcy of it all. He was surprised when a steaming cup of soup appeared at his elbow. Taking off his glasses he finally looked at his watch, he'd been working for 4 hours without a break. 

"Thought you might be hungry," Simon said as he sat down beside Blair. His large hand casually rubbed at the tense muscles of Blair's back and Blair unconsciously stretched under the gentle ministrations. Simon chuckled and turned Blair so he could have complete access to the broad back. "This what you want, lover?" Simon asked as his hands worked at the knots he found there. 

Blair started to tense at the word, but Simon's hands kept up their steady work and Blair quickly relaxed. He'd come to some major decisions last night, but old fears died hard. But he wasn't going to let that fear interfear with the joy he'd finally found. "Yeah," he sighed, arching into the kneading fingers. 

"Thought so," Simon teased. His fingers stilled but didn't pull away. He turned Blair back toward the soup on the table. "Eat." 

"Yes, mother." 

"Don't get smart with me, young man," Simon admonished with a teasing smile. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Blair's temple. "I get enough lip from Ellison." 

Blair looked up. "How is he?" 

"Resting. I just put him through his therapy and he's worn out." Simon noted the stricken look on Blair's face and stroked the pulled back curls, "He's ok, Blair, just tired." 

Blair nodded, but his eyes were still not convinced. 

Simon leaned down and claimed Blair's lips in a deep, heated kiss. Breaking away reluctantly he smiled at the flushed face before him, "He's fine, trust me. Now back to work, Teach, I'll come get you for dinner." 

"Uh... sure. Yeah. Work. I can do that." 

Simon tucked an errant wisp of hair back behind Blair's ear and gently stroked the handsome face. He smiled as Blair leaned trustingly into the touch. Taking a deep breath he final gave voice to something he'd wanted to say for so long, "Love you Professor." 

Soft lips brushed his palm, "Love you too Simon, and I'm glad you're here." 

"So am I Blair, so am I." 

* * *

It wasn't Simon who alerted him to dinner, it was Jim. Deep in study, trying to decipher his own handwritten scrawl, the feel of strong hands settling on his shoulders once more came as a welcome relief. He leaned back against the muscled chest of his Sentinel, his hands reaching behind him to run lovingly over narrow, sweats covered hips. He smiled as the body pressed closer to the back of the chair, and consequently, closer to him. "Missed you." 

"And just who do you think your handling?" the baritone rumble asked. 

Blair made a show of thinking about it, allowing his hands to roam over the waist and thighs of his roommate. "Let's see. Strong thighs, narrow waist... could be any number of people," he teased. Jim growled and Blair chuckled, "Let me check one more thing." His traveling hands cupped the rock-hard buttocks and squeezed drawing a startled gasp from behind him. "Has to be Jim... my lover." 

Strong arms wrapped around Blair's chest and Jim's lips descended on Blair's bare neck. "And just what lead to that conclusion?" Jim inquired, his voice unusually thick and husky. 

Blair turned in Jim's arms and wrapped his arms around Jim's neck. "You're the only one I know that's that tight-assed." Dropping a quick kiss on surprise slackened lips, Blair ducked out of the chair and sprinted towards the kitchen and Simon. 

Jim's eyes narrowed, and he gave chase. "You're gonna pay for that one. Sandburg." 

"Maybe that's what I'm counting on," Blair taunted as he placed Simon's body between himself and the advancing Jim. 

"Promises, promises. Simon, don't you dare protect him. He's asking for it." 

"I'm sure he is, Tiger," Simon said without looking up from the vegetables he was chopping, "and you're more than welcome to see he gets exactly _what_ he's asking for.... later! Now, both of you, out of the kitchen. And since you're both so energetic, tomorrow one of you gets to cook. Now OUT!" He placed a well aimed swat on Blair's pert butt as it scooted past, smiling at the 'yip' the younger man let out. 

* * *

Simon watched as his lovers settled into the familiar routine of Jim washing dishes and Blair drying them. They had insisted on doing it since Simon had cooked dinner. They moved with the ease of long time partners and the feeling of intrusion once more washed over Simon. It was time for him to go. _They_ were the ones who belonged here, together, bonded in a way that he could never truly be a part of. They had tried. Both Blair and Jim had tried so hard to make him feel welcome, but he knew, deep down, in time they would come to resent his presence. What could he offer that they couldn't offer each other. Besides, they were Sentinel and Guide; he was simply their friend. What place could he have within that dynamic? 

It was best to leave now. Leave and take the memories of their night together and cherish them for the gift they were. Better to leave now while he still could, before his heart _couldn't_ leave. They would understand, in time, that he was right. This way they could still salvage the friendship, keep the bond that they all needed so badly. 

//*If this is all I ever have, it'll be enough.*// 

//*But it isn't enough is it?*// 

Blair's words and his own response from the night before returned to mock him. //It'll have to be enough,// he scolded himself, //I'll make it enough.// Decision made, Simon set about planning his escape, knowing that neither of the men in the kitchen would make it an easy exit. 

* * *

He planned it perfectly, timing his exit so that Jim and Blair were both distracted by Jim's final round of therapy for the night. His dufflebag hanging non-chalantly from his hand he came quietly down the stairs and headed for the door. Maybe if he was lucky they wouldn't catch on until he was already gone. He watched as Blair eased Jim's stiff muscles through the orchestrated patterns prescribed by the hospital's PT department. Blair's voice kept a steady stream of reassurances. 

"I'm fine, Chief. It's not that bad, really." 

"Jim, if it wasn't that bad you'd be bitching and complaining through the whole thing. You haven't said more than two words since we started this particular stretch. So.... what is it? What hurts that you're trying to be so stoic about?" 

//Busted// Simon thought with a grin. Now he knew he was right. This should be their time together. He picked up his coat and made for the door. 

"Going somewhere, Simon?" 

Simon's hand stilled on the doorknob at the sound of Jim's voice. The glib exit line he'd had planned was ready. Taking a deep breath, Simon softly answered, "Yeah. Home." 

"And you were planning on letting us in on this plan _when_?" 

Simon had always hated that tone. It was the one thing that could get under his skin and Jim knew it. He'd thought they'd left that tone behind long ago, but apparently the dangerous, sarcastic, tough-guy vice cop still lurked beneath Jim's seemingly calm exterior. Damn. He steeled himself for the now expected argument. "Later," he replied 

"Any particular _reason_ for this sudden retreat, Captain?" 

The insolence in Jim's tone brought back buried memories: Jim standing in his office all hard lines and challenging blue eyes as Simon told him he _would_ be working with a partner, Jim drunk and belligerent after his divorce daring Simon to say anything. This he knew how to deal with. He turned, the sharp comment poised on his tongue... where it died after one look into Jim's eyes. There was no challenge there this time, only carefully guarded hurt. "Jim... I..." 

"Don't run away like this Simon." Jim said. "Not without at least an explanation. I think we at least deserve that much." 

//Damn him.// Simon thought darkly as Jim threw his own words back at him, words uttered late one night as Jim had tried to "uncomplicate Simon's life". He set his bag on the floor and placed his coat over the top of it. Jim was right; they at least deserved an explanation. "I think we need some time," he stammered, trying to find words to explain his actions without betraying his breaking heart. 

"Time for what, Simon?" Blair asked softly. 

"To regroup, to think about all that's happened," //to try and forget how good it felt to hold you both// he added sadly to himself. 

"To try and convince yourself it was a mistake," Jim added for him. "I know what you're doing, Simon. I've seen you do it before and I'll be damned if I let you do it this time. Come sit down." 

"Jim." 

"SIT, Simon." 

Simon sighed resignedly and moved to sit at the dining room table. His long fingers rubbed against his forehead, trying to quell the headache building there. Two figures moved to flank him and he brought his hand down reluctantly only to find it caught by Jim's own. 

"Talk to me, Simon. You've been off kilter all day. Having regrets?" 

"No!" Simon denied quickly, too quickly. 

Jim could feel the tension coming off his lover's body. He pushed a little more, "So, why the disappearing act?" 

"You two need time together, without distractions." 

"You're not a distraction, Simon," Blair's voice countered. "And as for time together, we told you last night, it's about the THREE of us." 

"I know. Really, I do. But I just thought that you'd both want some time to yourselves. It's not been an easy few weeks and sometimes it helps to get back into the normal routine. Besides, I should head home and check on things there, get things ready for work on Monday..." 

"Bullshit!" Blair bellowed, startling both Simon and Jim with his vehemence. He knew obfuscation when he heard it, without the benefit of Sentinel senses. The younger man rounded on the captain. "Man, you still don't get it, do you?" 

Simon looked at Jim, who merely folded his arms across his chest impassively, then turned back to Blair. "Professor?" he asked tentatively but Blair cut him off with a wave of his hand. 

Memories of Simon trying to leave them alone last night and of how he'd managed to fade into the background most of the day added heat to Blair's words. He would not let the older man continue to do this. Not when he was so important to them. "We _love_ you, Simon," he said emphatically. "Jim and I both love you and you still keep trying to push us away, making sure to leave the two of us alone together." 

"I do not," Simon began defensively, looking from one man to another. "It's just that I respect the bond you have as Sentinel and Guide. You guys need time for that." He got up from the kitchen table and went to lean against the sink, staring unseeingly at the wall, lost in his own thoughts. "That's more important anyway," he whispered to himself. 

"More important than what, Simon?" Jim's voice took on a deep, threatening cast. 

Simon jumped, unprepared for the cutting question. He stood mute and unmoving, unable to meet either man's eyes. 

"More important than how we feel about you," Jim queried, "or maybe more important than how you feel about us?" 

"No..." 

Jim thrust himself away from the table, his chair crashing to the floor as he stood. Simon's shoulders tensed at the sound but he still didn't turn around. The sentinel could hear the rapid beating of his friend's heart, the harsh breathing that he tried to calm with great gulps of air. 

Blair touched his arm but he shook it off and stalked toward the tall man by the sink. Jim grasped Simon's shoulder and pulled him around to face him. The captain shrank back slightly from his lover, whose fingers were like iron digging into his shoulder bones. 

"Don't lie to me, Simon Edward Banks," Jim growled darkly. "Don't you _ever_ fucking lie to me. I can tell when you do. You think Blair and I being together is more important, don't you?" Simon began to shake his head but Jim reached up caught the other man's face between his hands. Ice blue eyes bored into earth brown ones, searching for the truth, willing the other man to see beyond the surface and into his own heart. "One last time," Jim said slowly, distinctly. "Do you think that Blair and I being together is more important than the three of us?" 

Simon's eyes closed in pain. 

"Look at me!" Jim barked. "Look me in the eye and tell me you really believe it with all your heart." 

Simon looked into the eyes of his lover, knowing he couldn't lie to this man, sentinel lie detector or not. And neither could he hide from the demon that sat upon his shoulder and whispered in his ear. "Yes," he said gruffly, "I do." 

Jim's hands dropped to Simon's shoulders and he leaned his forehead against the other man's. "Then you're a fool," the Sentinel whispered. 

An animal like cry of pain made both men turn to stare at Blair. The anthropologist stood up and walked over to the pair by the sink. Simon could have sworn that instead of his younger lover coming toward him, it was a gray pelted wolf with bristling fur. Then the vision was gone, leaving a very angry Blair Sandburg in its place. 

"How dare you?" Blair said harshly. "How dare you decide for _all_ of us how it's going to be?" 

"Blair, I..." Simon began. "It's for the best," he finished lamely. 

It was the final straw and Blair snapped. "Let me let you in on a little secret, _captain,_ " the title dripped from Blair's lips with no small amount of sarcasm. "You don't run the world. You aren't responsible for everyone and everything. You aren't some high and mighty biblical patriarch standing on the hill and guiding the masses even though it might feel that way." Blue eyes blazed with fury and he caught one muscled arm tightly. He looked into Simon's eyes and saw for the first time the pain lurking deep beneath the earth-brown surface. His grip loosened but didn't drop away, not daring to end the connection between them. He drew in a deep, cleansing breath, feeling some of his anger bleed away as he did. 

He tried once more to reach their hurting lover. "Simon, you're just a man, okay? That's all you have to _be_ when you're with us. No hiding, no denying what you want and need." He reached up and caressed the handsome face, " _You_ showed me how to say we were lovers and mean it. You and Jim. Do you know how much that means to me?" He pressed close to the large, dark body, slipping his arms around the captain's waist. "I love you and Jim both. The fact that the two of you love me back still amazes me. Don't deny this any more, please? You belong here, with _us_. Can you try to believe that? Really believe and accept that?" He no longer tried to hide the pain and uncertainty he felt, opening himself to his lover and friend. It was time for the truth. Time to show Simon that he wasn't alone in his fears. Time to see if they all wanted it to work enough to face those fears together. 

Simon ran one hand up Blair's back, and threaded his fingers in the sable curls. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Blair's forehead and sighed heavily. "I'm so sorry I hurt you," the older man whispered. "Both of you." 

Jim pressed a kiss against Simon's neck then rubbed his face in the hollow between Simon's neck and shoulder. "You're forgiven," he said huskily. He nuzzled Simon again, this time with a little more purpose, nipping lightly at the corded neck. 

"Jim?" Simon wasn't sure if the breathy voice he heard was his own. The Sentinel's hands began to knead his shoulders purposefully. 

"I think I need a little reassurance here, lover," Jim rumbled. 

Blair rubbed his face against Simon's front, imitating Jim's animalistic movements. "We _both_ could use some of that," he said, tightening his arms around Simon's waist. He could feel the tension in Simon's body. He growled against the cloth covered chest, wanting... _needing_ more. He tilted his head back and captured Simon's eyes. "We want you," he said clearly. The answering growl from Jim was all the confirmation he needed. 

Simon looked from one set of blue eyes to another, wondering at the feral light that now shone from both. He could feel his own desire rising in response. "Boys..." he began. 

"Want you," Jim echoed Blair. "Now." His nostrils flared as both Simon's and Blair's arousal assaulted him. But what was normally his _own_ primitive impulse seemed to be communicating itself to his mates. He could feel it wash over his skin and down his back, making him tingle all over. Pulling away before he lost all control, Jim grabbed Simon's arm and hauled him out of the kitchen, Blair hot on their heels. 

When they reached the bedroom, he let go of Simon. "You can either take off your clothes yourself or _we'll_ take them off you," Jim said succinctly. 

He wanted this but something inside him needed to be sure, needed to ease some of the tension that had built between them. He folded his arms and stared cockily at the pair in front of him. "And if I don't?" he taunted. 

Jim stared at him, confusion evident in every line of the tensed and ready to pounce form. 

"Simon," Blair cautioned in a passion husky voice, "you know that sign at the zoo? The one that says 'Do not tease or feed the animals?' I think you ought to do what the big guy says." He started to peel out of his own clothes, tossing them on a nearby chair. Jim was already out of his shirt and was starting on his jeans. 

//Let's see how far they're willing to go with this// Simon thought mischievously. "No," he said calmly. 

"What did you say?" Jim growled. 

Simon shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I said no." 

Suddenly, he found himself borne backward by 160 pounds of horny, naked anthropologist. The two men landed with a bounce then Blair straddled Simon's hips and his strong hands grasped the other man's wrists and held them against the bed. Simon was amazed that Sandburg could move so fast. 

Blair brought his face down until he was nose to nose with his lover. "Wrong answer, _Big Man._ " he said with a snarl. He looked over his shoulder. "Jim," Blair called imperiously. 

"Yeah, Chief?" 

"Give Simon a hand with his pants." 

Simon could only hear Jim's throaty chuckle before Blair lifted up and a pair of hands deftly unbuttoned and tug down his jeans and briefs. He struggled a moment as the fabric was left wrapped around his ankles. Then Jim's hands began their journey back up. 

Starting at the trapped ankles, Jim slowly drew his hands up the long muscular legs. He felt the muscles tense and release under his fingers. He traced abstract designs over the dark skin, watching as Simon shifted and shivered beneath his fingers. He moved his hands higher, loving the feel of the firm flesh under his hands. He leaned forward and retraced the path up the long legs with his tongue tearing a moan from his trapped lover. He grinned and licked higher up the struggling body, moving towards the delicate flesh at the juncture of leg and torso. His way was blocked by a certain well known and well loved butt. He nipped at one fleshy globe. 

"Hey now! Careful," Blair cautioned, "If you want me to move all you have to do is ask." Blair shifted forward, allowing Jim free-er access to Simon's body while trapping Simon's erection between the cheeks that Jim had so recently bitten. Leaning down carefully he kissed Simon's parted lips, "Still with us, Captain?" he purred. 

Simon answer was lost in a wild whimper as Jim's hot tongue thoroughly bathed his overly sensative balls. The talented tongue teased at the thin sack, capturing the flesh and drawing it into the waiting and eager mouth. Sensation overwhelmed him. Jim's mouth and tounge gently caressing his balls, Blair's compact body pinning him to the mattress, trapping and teasing his erection unmercifully. He writhed and twisted beneath the onslaught, his body thrusting and retreating, climbing towards release. He could feel the orgasm building and relaxed into the rush only to have the dedicated mouth pull away and the beloved body lift and still. He moaned in frustration, his hips thrusting upward, seeking to reestablish the intimate connection. 

"Seems like someone wants to play with the animals," Blair taunted, lowering himself back down slowly. Simon's cock slid against Blair's in a delicious friction that drew a moan from both men. Jim tossed Simon's pants onto the chair with Blair's clothes then finished disrobing. He clambered on to the bed, replacing Blair's hands with his own on Simon's wrists. 

"You want him like this?" he asked Blair. His Guide didn't even look up as he ran his hands beneath Simon's shirt. Simon's back arched slightly as talented fingers tweaked his nipples. 

"Oh, yeah, man," Blair replied, wetting his lips hungrily. "I want our dear captain to know just who he belongs to." He ran his fingernails into the smooth flesh beneath him, reveling in the hiss issuing from Simon's mouth. "But then you know the answer to that don't you, Simon?" 

"I have no...idea of what you're talking about," Simon replied throatily. 

Blair chuckled darkly. "Silly man," he said. The guide leaned down, opened his mouth and fixed his teeth on Simon's throat, biting lightly at first then applying more pressure. 

Simon's head rolled to the back of his head as his stomach dropped to his toes. Wherever did Sandburg learn to do this? The older man fought the impulse to tip his head farther back submissively as Sandburg's hot breath fanned against his skin. Then he heard Jim's light laughter above him and he looked up into the Sentinel's eyes. 

"Feels like he could rip your throat out, doesn't it?" Jim said softly, seductively. "And you'd let him, wouldn't you, Simon? You're poised right at that point between pleasure and fear." Right at that moment, Blair let out a rumbling growl that vibrated straight into Simon's throat and the older man moaned. Finally, Blair licked his neck and sat back up breathing heavily. 

"Get his shirt off, Jim." 

Simon's wrists were release long enough for the last of his clothing to be removed and for Jim to retrieve lube, a couple of gloves and condoms from the bedside table. Then he grasped Simon's wrists once more with just enough pressure to remind the other man that he wasn't going anywhere soon. 

Blair marveled at the feast laid out before him before rolling a condom onto his rigid shaft. He slipped on a glove, squeezed a generous dollop of lube on his fingers and slid back to kneel between Simon's legs. 

"Wider," Blair growled then leaned in and bit Simon's thigh. 

"Sandburg!" Simon snarled. The grip on his wrists changed as Jim lay down next to him and grasped both wrists in one hand. 

Jim's free hand ran up and down Simon's trembling body, feeling the nearly microscopic beads of sweat beneath his sensitive fingers. Arousal poured from the men beside him and Jim fought to keep his head clear. Tonight _he_ was the choreographer and he didn't intend to miss a moment of it. 

"Do what he says, lover," Jim whispered, easing his leg over one of Simon's to pull the strong thighs farther apart. He nuzzled at Simon's neck, distracting the larger man from what Blair's nimble fingers were doing. "Did you mean what you said last night, Simon? Is this still what you want?" 

Simon struggled to recapture the words he'd said last night, the words that would determine what those teasing fingers would do. //*next time I want you in me.*// Simon could feel the slick, blunt finger poised at the entrance to his body, circling slowly, waiting for his answer. His body ached, his breath coming in short ragged gasps as he tried to give voice to his desires. 

Teeth closed gently on his earlobe, tugging at the flesh, drawing him from the caress of Blair's hands back to the caress of Jim's voice, "Is this what you want?" 

"God yessssss..." 

Jim's husky chuckle sent a shiver of anticipation through Simon's body, "Good, because that's exactly what you're going to get, Big Man. When we're done with you you're going to know just exactly where you belong," he paused and kissed Simon's lips softly, "right here with us." His hand stroked lovingly over Simon's heaving chest, "Gonna be so good lover, promise you..." 

Simon gasped as Blair's first finger eased slowly into his tight opening. 

Jim held him close, anchoring him as Blair did his best to destroy what little control he had left, "Blair's going to love you the best way he knows how Simon and I'll be right here with you. Won't let you fall or break. I'm gonna hold you all the way through." Jim's voice was velvet seduction as it brushed over Simon's taut nerves, "Just let go." 

Simon whimpered and buried his face in Jim's neck. 

Jim looked down at Blair who met his gaze with feral knowing and nodded. With deft movements, Blair snagged a pillow that had fallen to the floor and pushed it beneath Simon's hips, positioning the older man for maximum comfort. Taking Simon's weeping manhood in his hand, he began to stroke it while working a second lubed finger deep into Simon's body. 

"Oh, God," Simon groaned as the two fingers scissored him open, barely brushing his prostate on each pass. Finally a third joined them and he spread his legs a little wider, welcoming this touch with all his heart and soul. He relaxed into Blair's touch, welcoming his young lover and wanting what the fingers were preparing him for. 

A cat-like tongue flicked his left nipple before Jim's teeth teased it into rough wakefulness. "Ready for more?" 

Simon nodded, unable to find his voice under the dual assualt of mouth and hands. 

Jim watched as his Guide moved upward, grasped Simon's thighs and gently slid himself home with a satisfied groan. Simon's mouth opened but no sound emerged, silent testament to the unbearably pleasurable sensations washing over him. Jim pressed his lips against Simon's ear, "That's it, Simon," he whispered encouragingly, "take him in you. He feels wonderful doesn't he? He can make you see heaven if you let him." 

Blair set up a steady rhythm, pumping slowly into the older man with the greatest of care. Jim was wrapped around Simon, holding him, murmuring in his ear. And Simon? Simon was non-verbal, silently absorbing every inch of the anthropologist's shaft with each stroke. He closed his eyes, giving himself up to the power of the two men holding him, the two men claiming him. 

"You belong to both of us, Simon," Jim whispered harshly, turning the other man's face towards his own and waiting until the dazed brown eyes focused on him. "Do you hear me? Both of us want you. Both of us love you. You're ours." He leaned in and bit Simon's full lower lip before taking the sensual mouth with his own. Simon broke the kiss off first, breathing harshly as Blair pounded into him, harder, faster, deeper, each thrust pushing him into deeper into Jim's embrace. 

"Yours," Simon whispered. "But you're just... as much... mine. Ah!" His back arched as Blair began to hit his prostate with some frequency. 

"Say it again, Simon," Jim said. "Look at the man fuc..." Jim paused, reconsidering his words, "at the man _making love_ to you and say it to _him_!" 

Simon looked down at Blair, who met his smoky gaze with his own feverish one. "Yours, Blair." he cried out, "I'm yours." Blue eyes sparkled and Blair leaned in to press a quick kiss against Simon's kiss-swollen lips. 

"Are you absolutely sure, Simon?" Blair growled, his eyes darting from Simon to Jim and back again. "You want _this_? You want _us?_ " 

The hips had stilled, leaving Simon poised on the edge of release and he wanted more. He clenched his internal muscles around the heated length buried within him, catching the younger man off guard. Blair gasped at the sudden tightness, his hips bucking involuntarily. He recovered quickly, his cobalt eyes boring into Simon's as he drew back with deliberate control. "I asked you a question _Big Man_ ," Blair purred dangerously, "Do you want _us_?" 

Blair had withdrawn almost completely and Simon wriggled frustratedly in Jim's confining embrace. Jim's arms didn't budge. Simon searched each face, seeing the love and tenderness directed towards him. He drew a deep breath. "Yes." 

"Good," the younger man replied and rammed home in one smooth thrust. 

Jim's arms achored Simon to the bed as Blair set a punishing pace. Simon nearly came off the bed as Sandburg's still gloved hand grasped his erection and pumped it in time with his thrusts. Simon reached out for his other lover, his long fingers digging into Jim's hip. Jim's voice brushed his ear, "Just let go, lover. I've got you." 

"Jim... Blair.... please." 

"No more leaving, Simon," Blair said through gritted teeth. "No more running. We're in this together or not at all. Understand, lover?" Each word was punctuated with thrust of narrow hips, destroying the last of Simon's control. 

"Yes! oh...god, yes....ahhhh!" Simon was falling. Blair's hands pushed him towards the edge while Jim's arms held him safe as the tremors built in his tensed muscles. Blair's words wrapped around him, warming him, pulling down the last of the barriers between himself and his lovers. Theirs, he was _theirs_ , willingly. His hand tightened on Jim's hip and Simon felt the blood-warm pulse of Jim's release against his arm. His own orgasm crashed over him taking his young lover over with him. 

Simon's body shuddered as Blair slowly pulled out of his spent body. He collapsed back against Jim's broad, sweaty chest, his hand finally releasing its brusing grip on Jim's hip. Blair's compact body draped limply over Simon. Full lips and sharp teeth worried the skin on Simon's heaving chest, marking the dusky skin over the older man's heart. 

"Careful, Chief. Give him a minute." Jim's voice was rough and husky as he pressed a soft kiss to Simon's temple. 

"Jim?" Simon's hand reached back for Jim. 

Jim held the trembling man and added his own love marks against the dark neck and shoulder. "Shhh, it's all right, Simon. It's gonna be all right. We've got you." 

"Ours," Blair murmured sleepily. 

* * *

Simon was floating on the edge of sleep as gentle hands cleaned him and urged him under the warmth of the blankets. He could hear the soft whisper of voices and struggled to stay awake long enough to catch what they were saying. 

"Go to sleep Chief." Jim's voice was as gentle as his hands. The bed dipped as Jim's large frame settled down beside Simon. 

"um hummm..." Blair's voice sounded from the other side of Simon and a now familiar body curled against Simon's chest. "Love you Jim." 

"Love you too, Blair." Jim's warmth settled against Simon's back, the long legs twineing easily with Simon's. Long arms reached out and drew both Simon and Blair back into Jim's arms. Once more the soft lips pressed against Simon's flesh, "Love you too Simon. Good night." 

Jim's arm settled over Simon and Simon snuggled back into the comforting embrace, surprised at how right it felt to be sandwiched between these two men. He yawned and lightly squeezed the firm arm in acknowledgement, too boneless to do much else. He let his brain slowly drift, content and well loved. 

Tomorrow would sort itself out but for now there was only the three of them. As it should be. The bear caressed the sleek flank of the panther with one large paw then curled his large body around the softly furred wolf, who burrowed instinctively closer to the bear's warmth. The panther's purr rumbled through the lover's knot, soothing the once solitary bear into sleep. 

End


End file.
